skimmy Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 I'm not sure what to do or how to act, but here is my situation. After 4 years of losing touch with friend 1, I'm seeing her tonight, and I'm very excited. But, she suggested going to see friend 2 who just had a baby. I told her, honestly, that I don't really have any desire to reconnect with friend 2...long story, but friend 2 really has emotional problems and I'm not interested in dealing with them again, i want boundaries with this one. I don't want her to know any details of my life, i don't want to give her my contact info, i'm going to go to the hospital to say hi, see the baby, and keep it civil but i don't want her in my life. too many boundaries crossed last time, demolished and pulverized, and don't trust her as far as i can throw her. anyway, i guess my situation is that i want to keep heavy boundaries around her but i don't want to hurt her feelings. i think this is healthy for me but i can't be sure. most likely i'll just be standoffish, and i'm sure she'll notice and start obsessing, but can i just say to someone to their face i'm not interested in a friendship with you? i don't want to give you my number and i don't want to share with you my life the last 4 years? i refuse to cave in to guilty feelings. and then i worry that if i do offend her too much she'll do something stupid, she's unpredictable and needs professional help. I'm rambling...I'll shut up now.
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 I'm not sure what to do or how to act, but here is my situation. After 4 years of losing touch with friend 1, I'm seeing her tonight, and I'm very excited. But, she suggested going to see friend 2 who just had a baby. I told her, honestly, that I don't really have any desire to reconnect with friend 2...long story, but friend 2 really has emotional problems and I'm not interested in dealing with them again, i want boundaries with this one. I don't want her to know any details of my life, i don't want to give her my contact info, i'm going to go to the hospital to say hi, see the baby, and keep it civil but i don't want her in my life. too many boundaries crossed last time, demolished and pulverized, and don't trust her as far as i can throw her. anyway, i guess my situation is that i want to keep heavy boundaries around her but i don't want to hurt her feelings. i think this is healthy for me but i can't be sure. most likely i'll just be standoffish, and i'm sure she'll notice and start obsessing, but can i just say to someone to their face i'm not interested in a friendship with you? i don't want to give you my number and i don't want to share with you my life the last 4 years? i refuse to cave in to guilty feelings. and then i worry that if i do offend her too much she'll do something stupid, she's unpredictable and needs professional help. I'm rambling...I'll shut up now. is everything ok...please watch your tone in a forum where people are here for healing and guidance...your post was simply a rant and had no question i am sure the person u are speaking of will act accordingly may i suggest adult behaviour in a diginfied manner and lets all move on
Adunaphel Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I think that not going to see friend 2 is your best option - I hope friend 1 will understand.
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