notebook parallel (old love showed back up in her life).

[hindsfeet]

I just recently came out of a relationship where I was cheated on. I was actually married. I still am technically until December for stupid reasons. My exwife has definitely moved on. And so... after accepting that, I mustered up the guts to ask a girl out. She accepted and we've went out like 3-4 times now. The relationship has not turned sexual but when I'm with her, there is something special. More than just attraction.

She has a kid and I would normally not dig that but I am stoked about this girl and her kid. I do know that I care a lot about her already and part of that is just because of how long ive known her and also we've really grown emotionally attached to one another.

This weekend sucked.

We went to a lake to talk some and she told me her old crush has just gotten back from basic training. She still has feelings for him and she has feelings for me. After that, we walked a lot and our focus turned to one another in place of conversation. we kissed and things got hot fast. like to the point of heavily touching. and really intense.

I stopped it and told her I couldn't because I'm really afraid if I go all the way with her, it will tie me even more to her than I already am ( and right now I am crazy about her) and I didn't know if I could take being left for someone else again. also, I dont know the guy she still has feelings for but I didnt want to ruin anything that may be meant to be for him as well. If I was in the other position, I would have wanted that.

Now, I'm feeling like I should have just let things go and risked it. I haven't really had much chance to talk to her since this weekend and I feel like I in a sense, rejected her.

Part of me wants to give her space, and let her figure out what it is that she wants and just accept that no matter if it is good or bad for me. The other part says be selfish and say " screw the other guy's feelings" and just totally pursue this girl all out.

I really don't want to hurt her or get hurt though. She says that she feels like allie from the notebook and just torn between 2 loves. I totally understand that but the part that sucks for me is that Allie went with the guy she knew first. and if that happens here, it would suck for me.

any one got any advice for me or confirmation that waiting and giving her some space is for the best.

confused,

hindsfeet

[Guest]

You are in a tough situation. My advice to you would be to date around. For one, you just got out of a bad relationship. It would provide a lot of mental growth for you to find yourself.

 

I commend you for how you have handled it so far. Most guys would have went ahead and had sex with her. You did the right thing so far.

 

Also, if you date around a little bit, chances are that it will make her want you more.

 

Another thing to consider - some girls just like drama. For me personally, I can't understand being torn between two loves. I mean either you want to be with someone or you don't.... period. If she cared for him, then she should not have started something with you. That is her bad.

 

Don't let her string you along, go out and do your own thing. Remember, being single is a great place to be. As a man, if you get hooked up with the wrong woman, it can destroy your life. Chill out and don't let it happen to you.