emmaUK Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 Hello. Ive been with my BF on n off for about a year n half. at first as most relationships .. it was fantastic n since- we have had or fair shar of ups n downs. lately there is something that is really starting to make me angry.... not sure if my BF is selfish or i am just to demanding. please advice me on which it is. basically the last 6-8 months id say... my BF wants to spend more time with mates then he did b4. b4 he would come over most friday nites and stay over till sunday (sometimes we go out 2) and occcasionaly he would come over on a tuesday or wednesday n go straight to work. The odd friday nite though he would go out with friends. for abotu 6-8 months now... he never ever comes over during the week any more and at the weekend he prefares to go out with mates on a friday nite so by the time he is fully awake and here on saturday it is around 5pm... we have a few hours b4 we sleep and then the whoel of sunday together and he leaves at about 6pm-8.30pm. so really we only have jsut over 24 hours together every week (well less actually becuase we are asleep for about 8 of those hours) and i really dont feel that is enough at all but if i ever ask to see my Bf during the week he sais "im 2 tired, i havent got the money for petrol, ive made plans " etc etc. and he ends up seeing his friends about 3 times in the week instead. i woulda thought that would be enough for him but then he wants to go out with them every friday night and go to nightclubs etc so he only gets to sleep in the early hours of the morning so sleeps alot of saturday so only gets to me late. i really feel that if he loves me and wants to see me enough he would deffinetly make the effort to see me more. so i already have the feeling that he doesnt want to see me that much and he would rather go out with friends ... but...... this is what has made me so angry......... everytime i suggest something for me and him 2 do together ... he goes and does it with his friends without me....... see the below stories in the summer i mentiond about me and him going to thorpe park (theme park) and a few weeks later he had arranged to go with all his friends (without me, boys day out) .we had talked for a few months about us going to amsterdam together coz he had never been b4 and i had been years ago so i said i would show him round.... we then had a weekend where we didnt talk to each other and when we spoke on sunday evening he told me he had gone to amsterdam with his friends and jsut got back in easter we went to a club and met some guy in there who sings at a club called pacha every 3rd saturday of the month..... he invited us as a couple to go down there one saturday when he was singing and he would get us in on the guestlist..... we were supposed to go a couple of times but i couldnt get a babysitter.... anyway i spoke to the guy a couple of weeks ago and he told me that my BF had text him and asked him for a guestlist. i rang my BF n asked him what was going on and he said that he was gonna use the guestlist to go with his friends. gutted. on the 31st october every year they do something at thorpe park for halloween caleld fright nite. i mentiond it a few weeks back and asked him if he wanted to go with me..... he said yes. i admit i totaly forgot to mention it again but a week ago he rang me up and told me he was going to fright nite with his mates. i got upset and asked him 2 ring them up and tell them that he had forgotten that i already asked him 2 go and that he was gonna go with me instead... but he refused to and said it was all arranged now. so thats where he is now and im sitting here upset thinkin about him having fun going an all the rides with his friends. its annoying becuase if he had said to his friends he couldnt go with them... they still woulda gone with each other & wudnt have lost out on a day out ... but coz i have no1 else to go with i cant go at all and have lost out on a day out. i know if he had really wanted to go with me then he wuda gona with me ... i asked him why he wanted to go with them n not me but he just doesnt give me an answer. also it was my birthday 2 days ago and he didnt get me a present becuase he said he had no money ... but he had the money to go to thorpe park... when i asked him why he couldnt afford to get me a present but could afford to go to thorpe park with mates... he said "i deserve to treat myself" and when i said "but dont i deserve a treat" he said "its all about you you you you you" WHAT IS GOING ON HERE..... AM I JUST DEMANDING OF HIS ATTENTION AND HIS TIME??? I FEEL I DONT GET NEARLY ENOUGH OF HIS TIME SO OF COURSE IM GOING TO REQUEST MORE ARENT I. IS HE BEING SELFISH or IM I BEING SELFISH
hindsfeet Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 when i was dating around, i had times when i needed to be with my friends some. for different reasons. honestly sometimes it was just because i was tired of the relationship. at other times it was because i was trying to give myself space in order to make sure what i was feeling about my gf. other times i was up to something maybe surprise my gf. what i'm getting at is this. try to read his actions. like if he is just hanging with the guys, probably nothing to it. but if he is like hanging with them and also being mean to you then something may be up. also look out for jealousy. if he shows jealousy toward you, it maybe from his own guilty conscience. the only time ive ever demonstrated jealousy was when i knew i had done something wrong and wanted to make sure i want being wronged as well. sounds like he really just needs some space. guys are different. if you give him the space he needs, maybe it would make him miss you some and that would definitely make things better. sometimes not being around is better for a relatinship then being there. i know that sounds wierd but it definitely has proven true over time.
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