phyrespryte Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 Is it the location? Are people in the U.S not as open to friendship? Is it an east coast thing? I've been told that people in California are more friendly while the people over on my side of the country are weird. Is it an age thing? Are people in their 20s not inclined to try to make new friends? Does it get better when you age or does it get worse?
Lights Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 Is it the location? Are people in the U.S not as open to friendship? Is it an east coast thing? I've been told that people in California are more friendly while the people over on my side of the country are weird. Is it an age thing? Are people in their 20s not inclined to try to make new friends? Does it get better when you age or does it get worse? I'm suspecting that in some ways it is the location, and in some ways the culture. I can't verify anything about California, however. I'm in the same boat myself regarding finding new friends. I do believe that many people in their 20s are highly tribalistic. It often can be tough to get them to deal with an 'outsider' (i.e. someone who they aren't ordered by someone in their little tribe to accept). However, I can't tell how far up/down the age spectrum that seems to be the case. Have you been running up against anything in particular?
Author phyrespryte Posted October 31, 2006 Author Posted October 31, 2006 The tribe comparison sounds exactly like what happened to me the other day. I had sort of made a new friend and she was introducing me to her group. All of them were polite, they smiled and shook my hand. But I didn't really feel welcome. Then they started talking about some inside thing and I felt even more left out. It's so frustrating. Making friends shouldn't feel like work.
LaughMachine Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I know what you meen man. I meen It's easy for me to make friends but usually everywhere I go...I go with my bestfriend to feel comfortable. Lately she hasn't been wanting to do much( Might I add she has a bf )...It is harder to make friends.. But I'll be your friend.. haha
Author phyrespryte Posted November 3, 2006 Author Posted November 3, 2006 But I'll be your friend.. haha Thanks LM!
quietintrovertgirl Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I live in California and most people in California suck.People in California are too busy to focus on real friendship or relationship
Lights Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 The tribe comparison sounds exactly like what happened to me the other day. I had sort of made a new friend and she was introducing me to her group. All of them were polite, they smiled and shook my hand. But I didn't really feel welcome. Then they started talking about some inside thing and I felt even more left out. It's so frustrating. Making friends shouldn't feel like work. I understand. I wish I could help you though; in many ways I'm stuck in a similar situation.
Author phyrespryte Posted November 6, 2006 Author Posted November 6, 2006 I live in California and most people in California suck.People in California are too busy to focus on real friendship or relationship So I guess location doesn't help then. I understand. I wish I could help you though; in many ways I'm stuck in a similar situation. That's ok. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's noticing this.
Guest Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 The tribe comparison sounds exactly like what happened to me the other day. I had sort of made a new friend and she was introducing me to her group. All of them were polite, they smiled and shook my hand. But I didn't really feel welcome. Then they started talking about some inside thing and I felt even more left out. It's so frustrating. Making friends shouldn't feel like work. Sometimes you have to put some work into it to make a friend. It's no different than any other relationship, bf/gf, husband/wife, parent-child...it takes elbow grease sometimes. Start small...work on the new friend you made...then find a way to mix in with the group. Eventually you'll find it easier once you get into the group.
nancyleeh Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 It is hard to make a lasting friend and I don't think it gets easier as we get older. I recently joined a church group and while the group was going strong we all emailed and phoned and met for coffee and chatted like we knew each other for years and shared things about our life as if we were really good friends . I though I had made some new friends and poof, as soon as the group feel apart I don't hear from them and yes I have phoned and made efforts on my part, even invited them out for a meal together. I guess we really were not friends but buddies while the group lasted. That is what I find so frustrating. I'm tired of having buddies or meeting people who eventually become acquaintance friends or people who are friendly but not wanting to make a committment to become long lasting friends. I've talked about this to the one long time real friend I do have and she said the same thing. Making new "solid" friendships that last through all kinds of weather is difficult. nancyleeh
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