Jessie19A Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 My boyfriend just got a DUI a few days ago. Ever since he has been really depressed. Plus he has not been getting along with his parents at all. He hates his job... I have no idea what to say to help him out. I tryed everything I can think of to "I'm sorry, - Things will work out eventually" Nothing is working, he just gets more depressed. Lately he doesn't even want to be around me anymore. He tells me how much he misses me and wants to "hang out tomorrow" but when it gets time...he cancels because something else happened and claims he does not want to be around me when he is in a bad mood. I don't know what to do anymore. PLZZ HELP:(
magichands Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 I don't know what to do anymore. PLZZ HELP:( Wow...I really feel for you. As an often depressed person, I can tell you that I'm a stubborn arsehole that doesn't listen to anyone. And if you try to help me, I will get angry and withdraw. All you can do is encourage him to get help, and be supportive without being critical. That last bit is kind of important for me. I can't take criticism, haha. And bring him some ice cream. A little comfort goes a long way. But I understand your frustration - I really do! I'm a very hard person to put up with, and consequently I'm not often fun to be around. I've lost friends and lovers because of it. I hope that your boyfriend comes to this realisation sooner rather than later. Good luck brave one! If you can stand it, then you'll just have to stick around until he snaps out of it. But it will be very, very hard. That's sacrificial love I guess.
Author Jessie19A Posted November 3, 2006 Author Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks, for the advise. I really appricate it. I want to stick by him, but sometimes its sooo hard. One minute he can be normal and the next he is like acting crazy. He thinks of the weirdest things, and thinks everything is out to get him. Its so weird, we can be sitting there watching tv, and hear a sound and he totally FREAKS out. I don't even know... I want to be with him, but on the other hand...I don't... Sometimes I just think I make things worse cause i really don't EVER know what to say or do. Is there anything that makes you feel better? like things people say or something they could do? Again, thanks for the help:D
amaysngrace Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 One minute he can be normal and the next he is like acting crazy. He thinks of the weirdest things, and thinks everything is out to get him. Its so weird, we can be sitting there watching tv, and hear a sound and he totally FREAKS out. He sounds like he has more than depression going on. Has he ever been to a psychiatrist? What you describe sounds like it could be a deeper issue, possibly paranoia or OCD. I don't know, I'm not a doctor but I think when you think others are out to get you, that goes beyond depression.
DanielMadr Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 My boyfriend just got a DUI a few days ago. Ever since he has been really depressed. Plus he has not been getting along with his parents at all. He hates his job... I have no idea what to say to help him out. I tryed everything I can think of to "I'm sorry, - Things will work out eventually" Nothing is working, he just gets more depressed. Lately he doesn't even want to be around me anymore. He tells me how much he misses me and wants to "hang out tomorrow" but when it gets time...he cancels because something else happened and claims he does not want to be around me when he is in a bad mood. I don't know what to do anymore. PLZZ HELP:( 1. Is he really depressed or does he only have "bad mood"? I suggest the first so... 2. To tell you the truth....The best way to deal with depression is to go to desert, meditate and let it go. Any interaction with other people make it last longer. 3. He is man. He dont want you to see him down....dont treat him like puppy....it will humiliate him and depress even more. You can help him, telling him HONESTLY sounding, that he is great, strong guy and you admire him how he can cope with this serious soul-illness. Dont over do. 9 of 10 he want to be alone to think and solve his problems and 1 of 10 he needs love and support...its nice when people care for you. 4. After 2 months he should be OK. He must settle down and realize he cant solve whatever it is in his condition. Now he see problem in everything to the point of paranoia. When he reaches 'I dont give a f@ck' it will 'solve on its own' attitude he will be OK. Just 'f@ck it' just 'live and enjoy life'. NO SELF PITY. 5. When he is OK he should solve his problems. No radical steps. Change his job etc.
DanielMadr Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 ......I forgot...It is common for mood swings....One time he wants to see you...another he wants to be alone. I think in depression men become women:D
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