blon_dee Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Hi all... i have posted a few times in the last days... Broke up with bf a little over a week ago. Felt it wasnt right, then realised all my old emotional baggage from marriage breakdown was just making me feel "numb" i guess and i wouldnt let the bf in, so to speak. Now that i have dumped him, and realised that i sabotaged the whole thing in the first place, i want him to give me a second chance. He has not replied to any of my recent emails, i even emailed him explaining everything saying that if we had met at a different time things could have been different. I miss him in my life, i really think now that i have realised my obstacle, and have started to deal with it, that i want the chance back that i had with him... I just sent him a very short email saying this. I dont know if its the right thing or not, i just want him to give me another chance...
D-Lish Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Blonde, It may take more than a week or two for things to sink in for him. As I said- I'm prone to sabotaging relationships because of my marriage breakdown. I'm really good friends with an ex I dated for a year after breaking up with my husband. He reminds me now about the red flags and mixed signals I convey in a relationship. It gives me great perspective. The coldness, the distance, the push and pull behaviour. Even the reluctance to engage in affection outside the bedroom. If I were you, I'd just send him this one last e-mail, laying it out on the table, and then let it go. See if it sinks in. It took my ex two months to contact me again. he too ignored my e-mails and attempts to reconcile. I got nothing- not so much as a peep for two months. The danger is that he may have checked out mentally a couple months ago, become jaded by your behaviour and reluctance to commit. So he may be doubting your sincerity at this point. So, give him time to think about what you've said, and then go into NC mode. It will be hard, but it's the only way to have an impact. Good luck, Dee
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Blonde, It may take more than a week or two for things to sink in for him. As I said- I'm prone to sabotaging relationships because of my marriage breakdown. I'm really good friends with an ex I dated for a year after breaking up with my husband. He reminds me now about the red flags and mixed signals I convey in a relationship. It gives me great perspective. The coldness, the distance, the push and pull behaviour. Even the reluctance to engage in affection outside the bedroom. If I were you, I'd just send him this one last e-mail, laying it out on the table, and then let it go. See if it sinks in. It took my ex two months to contact me again. he too ignored my e-mails and attempts to reconcile. I got nothing- not so much as a peep for two months. The danger is that he may have checked out mentally a couple months ago, become jaded by your behaviour and reluctance to commit. So he may be doubting your sincerity at this point. So, give him time to think about what you've said, and then go into NC mode. It will be hard, but it's the only way to have an impact. Good luck, Dee My 2 cents In my situation it was impossible to repair the damage because she just simply did not want to talk with me. How in the world do u expect two people to actually uncover the truth and disclose mistakes or understand motivations if the only method used to communicate is actually worse than actually talking. I could have easily listened to her and told my side if she had really wanted to but instead, i was left with playing a dangerous game one that makes it impossible to turn back. Posting things in a forum and doing it in a vague way, and purposely, while invading someone personal material on a computer without permission is extremely serious...it is in many ways worse than anything we could have done in the relationship. I never will understand why she didn't see that. I have no idea what the motivation to do things like this would be because it is truly a serious thing to do and i take this seriously. and the fact that i post something here and she deletes it, is truly a sign of where she is at. it is a horrible way to end something. i wish i didn't have to do this, but, what can i do but protect myself and my family from those who take such actions so lightly - even continue playing games. oh well.
Author blon_dee Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Thanks so much Dee for your advice. It seems you really know where i am at... Its such a tricky thing though isnt it? BTW, did you ever end up having the coffee and chat with your ex? Just curious. I sent the email, just very brief. I dont really think i will get any response. I guess i have hurt him enough already. Don't you just wish sometimes you could have that second chance to have a go at it. Yknow, i never gave it a chance to start with... Anyway, no more contact for me. My god, how hard is that to do!!???
D-Lish Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 My 2 cents In my situation it was impossible to repair the damage because she just simply did not want to talk with me. How in the world do u expect two people to actually uncover the truth and disclose mistakes or understand motivations if the only method used to communicate is actually worse than actually talking. I could have easily listened to her and told my side if she had really wanted to but instead, i was left with playing a dangerous game one that makes it impossible to turn back. Posting things in a forum and doing it in a vague way, and purposely, while invading someone personal material on a computer without permission is extremely serious...it is in many ways worse than anything we could have done in the relationship. I never will understand why she didn't see that. I have no idea what the motivation to do things like this would be because it is truly a serious thing to do and i take this seriously. and the fact that i post something here and she deletes it, is truly a sign of where she is at. it is a horrible way to end something. i wish i didn't have to do this, but, what can i do but protect myself and my family from those who take such actions so lightly - even continue playing games. oh well. I'm not sure I get the meaning of your post? What's that all about...
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 i ramble about nothing sometimes...that's what i do best but nevermind...no need for novels of confusion - my apologizes
Author blon_dee Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Yeah, i didnt understand that post either??
D-Lish Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Hey BD- It's just someone screwing around. D~Lish
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