Guest Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 I will try to make a long story short. We have a minor league hockey team in my town and each year theres always these girls that go to the games just to stare at the guys, follow the players around and wait for one of them to take them home just cuz they are hockey players. (puckbunnies) I always suspected my ex was one of these girls and the whole relationship over the summer i was worried that once hockey season started she would be out with her friends who do nothing but follow the players around to bars. We broke up almost a month ago and i spent weeks trying to get her back. A week ago she told me she didnt want to be in a relationship with me. At a concert thursday night she was with her friends and came up to say hi. I was drunk and angry cuz she was back out with her puckbunny friends and told her to tell the hockey players to have fun this year. She said "what is that supposed to mean" and we had an argument right there. She sent me a text that nigth that said "that was so low and imature" then friday i got an IM from her that said "I cant believe the way you acted last night, you really hurt my feelings. I hope you feel better" So I actually was happy I got my point across that she's not pulling anythign over on me and I knew she was a puckbunny from the beginning. And I told all my friends gf's (who became friends with her over the course of our relationship) that she does nothign but sleep with hockey players and thats how she really is. Well friday night we all go to a bar for a halloween party. It was the night of the first hockey game of the season. Sure enough, she walks in with a new player on the team. We didnt speak but she was talking to my friends all night. I was standing waiting for a beer and the player she was with, who i never met before, turned around and bumped into me on purpose and said "oh im sorry" and turned back around not even trying to get past me. So she had to have said something to him for this guy to do this. I was furious cuz I knew not to get involved with her for this reason and I still let it happen. I text her last night and said "Sorry i hurt ur feelings but I knew once the season rolled around i would get burned. U girls have fun with the team this year. Maybe we can get together again in the offseason" Well she text me back and said "F**K off. Be a man. Get some damn confidence. You have been disrepectful to me and your friends. I dont accept heartless apologies" Well I have struggled with self confidence isssues I admit. But i wanted so bad to play this breakup off like it didnt bother me and I couldnt do it. Now I feel like she only sees me as some loser with no self esteem and women dont find that sexy at all. I wanted so bad to play this off like it didnt bother me and I saw her for 5 seconds and it set me off. Now she has the upper hand. I tried to make her mad and show her I saw this comming and she turned around and hurt me worse. I feel so low and I feel she now officially looks down on me. Why that bothers me now that I know how she is and am not with her, I'll never figure out. But when you officially know a relationship you cared about so much is over and that you'll never even speak again, that she'll just find some guy soon and I'll only be some guy she used to date that she never thinks about, it really hurts. I dont know why. She was someone I was hesitant to get involved with but i still did. and I ended up falling hard for her. Now she wins. The whole time I was shy around her and hardly confident and I think that was a big reason she doesnt want to be with me anymore. Even tho we'll never get together again, and im not sure i'd even want to, itd be nice if she saw me as a confident, cool, collected guy who had no trouble moving on after her. But instead she'll look down on me and I'll just be some loser she dated for a few months and she'll know she hurt me and have the upper hand. Then again, I hope with her knowing what I now think of her maybe in some small way bothers her...but I doubt it would. I realize that this isnt the healthiest of ways to go about things, but Im just so angry and tired of waking up every morning thinking of her and being sick
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