ILSSM Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 Over the course of the last week I have had Some problems with my LTLDR, During that time a friend of mine who had similar problems found this site and recommended it to me. At first simply reading some of the stories in here have given me strength and motivation to go on... but at this time I find myself faltering... so I must share... hoping that someone out there can help me... I feel so lost.... A year ago I got home from work and decided to get on IRC to chat up a few people, and there I met N. From the first Chat we hit it right off, and every day for the remainder of my temp assignment we would meet at exactly the same time... I would rush home to be able to chat with her. N lives in the UK and because of that time difference it was difficult to spend much time together after work. We became very very intimate in our conversations and spent hours talking about our lives, dreams, hopes, past... she had me at Hello I guess.... it wasnt soon after that we began to use Voice chat programs to talk... and from there our conversations became much more intimate... much more diverse and much longer... We continued to seek mediums to entertain ourselves while we spent our time together. During this time I really worked hard to find things for us to do together, we ended up renting movies together and watching them at the same time. And in the end we both started playing an online game called Final fantasy 11. This is a game I had been playing for a while, so I was able to get her interested in this game. We started playing this game together and found that it was very entertaining... I was able to be her "hero" during the time we played as well as were able to see and explore a world together. We had such deep conversations as we played... as well as were able to treat each other to game "goodies"... so we continued from december until this month. Because I had been playing this game much longer I knew many more people... and I had several friends who happened to be girls... and she was incredibly jealous... to the point where I found it easier to devote my time to her only rather than fight. In my mind those people who I talked to... new or old were not as important as my GF.....As we progressed we met people as a couple... One person we met was L he had just had a friend commit suicide in real life, and his GF (who I knew from the game) had left him for another as well as cheated on him. I was concerned about L, because he seemed such a nice guy... so we both tried to talk to him in private tells... and he sort of blew me off... which I thought was just because he was in pain... On the other hand my gf was able to talk to him... and over the course of the following week they continued to talk. This last monday She confessed to me that she felt guilt, because she found herself flirting with him. She told him that they couldnt talk anymore... and supposedly removed herself from that situation. Then on tuesday she proceeded to speak to him again.... saying that she really had done nothing wrong other than talking (AKA Nothing). We spoke and I agreed in that she had done nothing wrong (she didnt sleep with him or phone sex or anything of that sort), that she had only been speaking to him as a friend. During the next day I felt very jealous... so much so that I felt I was not myself. and she continued to talk to him on the basis of having done nothing wrong... I did tell her that it was my problem... being jealous... So today she confessed to me that in that day she realized a lot about our relationship... over the course of time she feels more of a friendship than a romantic relationship with me, and demanded a break during which we would hang out occasionally on the game and talk via voice... with no schedule or anything... thats where I am at presently, Sitting here... feeling so incomplete without her... I have to apologize to everyone for being so wordy and writting so much... but as I read back I am sure I left things out... feel free to ask questions for clarification. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. -ILSSM
Yamaha Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 Have you 2 actually met in person? She is seeing another opportunity in this other guy and if that falls through she will probably be back (if you still want her back). On-line love is so unpredictable.
Author ILSSM Posted October 29, 2006 Author Posted October 29, 2006 No we havent actually Met in person, she has put it off forever... and has mentioned it in the past... and before this incident occured she was mentioning it quite frequently... it was talked about much... and I had told her that she was welcome to stay at my place or at my family's place (In case she didnt feel comfortable staying in one place alone with me) As Far as the other guy, she claims that they are only Friends... and will remain so...or so she says... As for the unpredictability... yeah it blows :3 thanks for replying... -ILSSM
peterparks Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 Sometimes being unpredictable is a tool women use to know if the guy is really serious.
Author ILSSM Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Sometimes being unpredictable is a tool women use to know if the guy is really serious. I have never heard of that.... tho I suppose it would be a good ay to gauge a person... to see if they are only "Fair weather" or the type that is serious... thanks for your input... -ILSSM
Author ILSSM Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Thanks to some incredible posts in this Forum I have been able to think a bit more clearly. I Do love N very very much... and I know that at the moment she has been struggling with RL issues (her RL ex is getting married... and the woman who he is tying the knot with is preggers, The woman who has been like her mother since she was 18... N's 25 now... has been diagnosed with Leukemia) which in my opinion are pretty serious. Add to that a bf who cant understand how she is feeling or comfort her in RL, as well as compounding the fact that her RL issues (in my opinion) have made her very irritable, etc... I realize that the easiest way to deal with a bf is to put him on the back burrner so that she can deal with these issues. But it is so difficult to just take a back seat... and not try to have deep/long conversations about her RL issues and about our relationship... Instead I try to comfort as best as I can, and be supportive... asking open ended questions... telling her I am here... Over the last few days I have made myself available by staying on the game while she is on... as well as leaving my skype logged on so that she can leave me messages... both of which she has made use of... including brief calls usually in the mornings to talk to me... I am dying to be romantic/flirtacious with her... although I dont think that she is in the frame of mind to bare with it... or even want it from me... In fact I am afraid it would push her away... its just SO hard ! ! So for the while I am trying to be understanding of her situation... and trying not to be jealous of her relationship with that guy (whom I talked to and he confessed he was confused about his sexuality..AKA might be Gay). Meanwhile I will try to go on with my life... Improving my sitiuation... and hoping that in the end we will end up together again... I am not giving up on her... until she tells me.... "I never want to be with you again..." Thanks to everyone who has commented... and although this isnt as serious as some of the posts I have read here (Ie. we havent been together for 25 years and have 6 kids and 1.5 cats) I really appreciate any comments you may have about the situation... thanks for listening to my LONG rant... -ILSSM
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