roxy_1980 Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 Well, it all started a few months ago when I took a new job in a new city. I met my co-workers and was immediately attracted to one of the guys that works in my department. Problem though, the same day I met his girlfriend. Well, after a few weeks, I start getting trained by said hottie. Of course, since I knew he wasn't available did nothing to persue anything. This remained the same for several weeks. His girlfriend then leaves for a business trip overseas. He has had virtually no contact with her for 2 months. During this time, there is of course small talk going on between said hottie and I. We do work in the same area together. We discover a high degree of common interests. Then a week ago, he says that he's dumping his girlfriend as soon as she gets back, "cause they don't have enough in common". He has said this to me only. (I'd know if it were common knowledge, the rumour mill is rather efficient.) To top everything off, his gf and I look rather similar. I think he may be looking for a switch to a similar model sort of thing. Any thoughts? The problem becomes: (a) Although I think he's a hottie, I would rather not date someone who works in the same department. And for the time being, he is also become my immediate supervisor, for a few weeks. (b) His girlfriend is well liked in our department and even if he were to ask me out and I refused, then I may be considered the office b!tch. In a new workplace. © I have been the girl that has been dumped for a new model and would never want to impose that on anyone. How in the world do I solve this? Disclaimer: Although I thought he was hot, I didn't make any conscious outward signs known to the guy. I did not persue him. I don't want any "you're a b!tch for trying to break them up" threads. I want to remove myself from this.
orangele Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 Next time Hottie talks to you about his GF, and that he is going to dump her, say how sad and sorry you are about this, and of course, show no interest whatsoever in hottie. It does sound like getting involved with hottie would be a lose lose situation for you.
dgiirl Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 Try and mention your bf into the conversation. Maybe if he see's your taken he'll think twice about the situation.
Author roxy_1980 Posted October 29, 2006 Author Posted October 29, 2006 Thanks for the input, Firstly, I have been trying to reduce the convo as much as possible, since he said that. But I can't stop talking to him altogether, cause he's my supervisor. Thanks goodness job rotation is in a week and a half. And unfortunately, the rumour mill's efficiency is my downfall on telling him I have a bf. It's general knowledge that I moved here alone.
kleeka Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 so when the time is right, just casually mention "...this guy i've been seeing" or "...this guy I've just met"
Author roxy_1980 Posted November 4, 2006 Author Posted November 4, 2006 Well, the gf came back, he dumped her and now she wants to kick my ass. I haven't flirted with him. I haven't even been working with him for the last week. I avoid him in the break area at work. I don't what he said to her, but she seems to think that I reciprocated in some way. I hate office romance drama cr@p!!! How do I deal with this before the entire office thinks I'm a b!tch? Help!
Charlotte434 Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I'm in a similar situation. Thing is you really can't stop talking to him completely especially if you work for him unless you wanna be seen like a snob or a bitch. How are u flirting with him? Do u do this when other people are around? Maybe he went back and told hs gf u were the one pursuing him when it was the other way around. In my office there have been affairs, women pretty much throwing themselves on top of men who are married or engaged so there's plenty of gossip. Thing is unless you asked this guy out, asked for his number or something along those lines I don't even see why his gf should be mad at u. She probably just sees you as a threat.
dgiirl Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Has she talked to you about the situation? How do you know she wants to kick your ass? This reminds me of a situation that happened in University. I made a friend with a classmate, and was briefly introduced to one of his other friends. I barely talked to the guy. A few weeks later, I get this nasty email from this chick who wants to beat me up for stealing her bf. She mentioned the guys name, but I had no clue who SHE was. Anyways, I talked to my classmate and told him "WTF dude?". He told me "Dont worry about it, she's psycho" Anyways, after talking with the friend, I heard nothing back from the crazy lady. IF this girl talked to you, I would talk directly to the bf and ask him WTF is up? Tell him that their relationship has nothing to do with you and you want to be left out of it. Tell him to clean up his own mess and leave you alone. It's not your issue to solve, it's his! If he then proceeds to tell you he's interested, tell him you're not. Plain and simple.
Author roxy_1980 Posted November 5, 2006 Author Posted November 5, 2006 I learned that she wants to kick my ass through the rumour mill. One of my co-workers warned me that she is pissed off at me cause they broke up and I was mentioned within this break-up. I don't talk to "M" (the gf) with any regularity to have much idea of what she really said or didn't say. My co-worker friend also said that she heard that he said that I flirted back. I didn't. Unless he considers maybe the subconcious things I may have done inadvertly bacause I thought he was cute. That's all I can think of. I'm a really friendly person and I'm starting to think maybe he took it the wrong way.
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