Need some input/ is she cheating?

[Yamaha]

I think she is still lieing to you. She lied about the affair in 2004 and she has probably learned to cover up her tracks better since then ( cell phone records ).

How did she react to your questions after thanksgiving?

[Sup]

I'm wondering that myself, please keep us posted. Don't let her lie to you again, and waste more of your life!

[whichwayisup]

I am sorry that you're going through this, but atleast now you know what exactly is going on so you can deal with it head-on.

 

All the best, and keep posting.

[Guest]

Hi I've been married for 3 years and up everything has been great. My wife likes to go out on occasion with her co-workers, both male and female for happy hour. Usually she will go out to happy hour around 6:00pm, right from work and then come home around 8:00pm and continue drinking at home. Over the past month there have been 3 different occasions where she called me on Friday afternoon and said she was going to happy hour, of course she says I am welcome to go along, but she knows I have no interest in hanging with her and her co-works while they talk shop and have a few drinks. Anyway on these 3 different occasions, instead of returning home at the usual 8:00 to 9:00pm, she has not come home until 1:30, 1:50, and last night at 2:47 am. All I've ever asked of her when she goes out with her friends is if she is going to be late, give me a call and let me know so I know she's alright.

 

The first two times she was out late I called her cell phone several times, at least 20 ,and she never answered, and then when she finally got home she was very drunk. Last night she went to a benefit auction that some one in her company was putting on, it was alcohol free, she said she would be home early. She made a call to me shortly after leaving the house asking me a question about and item she was interested in bidding on, this was around 8:00pm. Well midnight rolled around and I had heard nothing else from her ,so I called her cell. Finally after 10 calls in a row she answered and I asked where she was. She was drunk ,and slurring her words ,and said she ran into one of her cousins at the auction and was at their place and had to go out side to answer the phone. I asked when she would be home and she said soon. I then went to bed, it was 12:15 am. She came through the front door at 2:47am. she was again very drunk.

 

I think she's screwing around. She has a bit of a drinking problem,(could ya tell?) she has told me she has cheated on a few different guys in the past, and when she drinks she gets way to drunk to be in control of herself. Personally I think she would do just about anything when she's drunk.

 

This morning I went on line and checked the cell phone bill. There were a few calls to an unfamiliar numbers, all long calls, and one 54 minutes long. She's to smart to use her regular e-mail, she's been caught at that in the past.

 

After the first night she was out late I came right out and asked her who she was screwing and she said no one. I don't buy it. What would a married woman be doing out drinking until 1:00, 2:00, or 3:00 in the morning?

 

If she's screwing around so be it, I just want to find out so I can send her packing and move on.

 

Any thoughts on this would be helpful. Thanks

 

Wow, what a horrible story. There is a trust issue there, huh? I guess what you could do is follow her. That is what my brother in law did to me. Of course, there was nothing going on, but hey, the suspicion was lifted. I hope that she isn't cheating. I hope that she just has a drinking problem. I would suggest her to get help with it, if she doesn't, either presevere or leave. This is your life to. You can't sit there always wondering what she may or may not do. Life is to short for all these struggles.

 

Shari

[Romeo Must Die]

This is one of the most **ucked up things I have read hear.

 

I'm sorry you have to go through this

 

Good luck, you deserve better.

 

 

 

Im sayin!

 

[IpAncA]

An update on the situation: After I read your responses I had a talk with my wife.....................

 

Sorry to hear about what you found out but I'm glad you did because now something can be done about it and your not wasting your time wondering.

 

Makes me wonder if she was ever going to tell you or if she has cheated on you since then. It's something to think about because that is 2 years she didn't mention it and you mentioned her going out the time and partying. Who knows what shes been doing.

 

She has a lot to explaining to do I'm sure and don't let her turn this all on you because she is the one that made the mistake and kept it from you and was and still is being irresponsible. Don't be suprised if she deny's it.

 

O and yes you should get tested for STDs for your own heath just to be on the safe side.

 

I hope things work out for you and please keep up posted.

[Mrs GST]

Well, so you all heard one half of the story and one thing really miffs me. Not one of you ever took the time to ask how things in the marriage are between my husband and I. However, at face value, I understand that had I been a member of this board and read that I could only reply to what I was reading. Now, regardless of how things are in the marriage no one deserves to be cheated on. Ever. If you want someone else you get out. Point blank. I will admit that two years ago I had what I would call an emotional affair. Phone conversations and nothing more. Someone was paying attention to me when I felt there was none elsewhere. Guilty as charged. There was never even sex talk involved. If Mr Guest would like to tell you what was going on in our lives when that occurred it's up to him. However, let me tell give you a good example of one half of a story. Last Saturday I learned something that made me physically ill. It's not to be repeated here but suffice it to say that it took me a few days but I talked to Mr Guest about it. Upon talking to him I heard both versions of what had happened and realized that the way that things were relayed to me were not what the appeared to be after COMMUNICATION with Mr Guest. That's the key. Yes, I go to happy hour with friends sometimes staying out late. I don't ever do anything that I shouldn't be doing. In fact, I am with married people who I respect. I see nothing wrong with going to happy hour on a Friday. I work very hard all week long to make sure that the bills are paid and if Mr Guest chooses to let you in on the alternative should I come home that's up to him.

 

All that I know is that I have spent many years with a man that I have spoiled rotten and treated like a king. When he had no work I did everything to make sure that all bills were paid and he still was able to get every toy that he wanted. I have more than pulled my weight in this marriage and he is fully aware of that. There has never been a time that I haven't. If it were not for me we would not have this house. So to the person who chimed in to make sure he gets my name off of the house and make sure that I didn't get any of his money it was an unfair statement. Although when my husband made the remark that he would keep me around for the money and the insurance how much more did you need to hear than that? I have made sure that we have been financially stable since day one of this relationship even paying his child support many times when he had no work, which is not my responsibility.

 

I am angered by what he wrote but I also understand where he is coming from. In fact, he had not posted on here since he confronted me about the letter and he is fully aware that I did not cheat on him. All of this could have been straightened out had it been for communication. This guy's wife was a psycho. Where I was just looking for some attention he was looking for an "out" from his marriage and was willing to tell his wife anything in order to make sure it was over. The only thing is that when the you know what hit the fan he thought I was going to leave my marriage for him. Hardly. In fact, the phone calls had already stopped by the time his wife found the number on his cell. This whole episode has been overwith for TWO years and she decides to send a letter. She actually started stalking me at the place that I pick coffee up in the morning. I talked to her 3 times for at least 45 minutes a piece and I thought that this was all over.

 

So, as Mr Guest explained he looked up the numbers on my cell and every one of them are explainable and he knows who the people are.

 

Don't take everything that you read at face value. I'm glad that my husband and I are working things out and that we are communicating.

[Guest]

Well, so you all heard one half of the story and one thing really miffs me. Not one of you ever took the time to ask how things in the marriage are between my husband and I. However, at face value, I understand that had I been a member of this board and read that I could only reply to what I was reading. Now, regardless of how things are in the marriage no one deserves to be cheated on. Ever. If you want someone else you get out. Point blank. I will admit that two years ago I had what I would call an emotional affair. Phone conversations and nothing more.

 

Someone was paying attention to me when I felt there was none elsewhere. Guilty as charged. There was never even sex talk involved. If Mr Guest would like to tell you what was going on in our lives when that occurred it's up to him. However, let me tell give you a good example of one half of a story. Last Saturday I learned something that made me physically ill. It's not to be repeated here but suffice it to say that it took me a few days but I talked to Mr Guest about it. Upon talking to him I heard both versions of what had happened and realized that the way that things were relayed to me were not what the appeared to be after COMMUNICATION with Mr Guest. That's the key. Yes, I go to happy hour with friends sometimes staying out late. I don't ever do anything that I shouldn't be doing. In fact, I am with married people who I respect. I see nothing wrong with going to happy hour on a Friday. I work very hard all week long to make sure that the bills are paid and if Mr Guest chooses to let you in on the alternative should I come home that's up to him.

 

All that I know is that I have spent many years with a man that I have spoiled rotten and treated like a king. When he had no work I did everything to make sure that all bills were paid and he still was able to get every toy that he wanted. I have more than pulled my weight in this marriage and he is fully aware of that. There has never been a time that I haven't. If it were not for me we would not have this house. So to the person who chimed in to make sure he gets my name off of the house and make sure that I didn't get any of his money it was an unfair statement. Although when my husband made the remark that he would keep me around for the money and the insurance how much more did you need to hear than that? I have made sure that we have been financially stable since day one of this relationship even paying his child support many times when he had no work, which is not my responsibility.

 

I am angered by what he wrote but I also understand where he is coming from. In fact, he had not posted on here since he confronted me about the letter and he is fully aware that I did not cheat on him. All of this could have been straightened out had it been for communication. This guy's wife was a psycho. Where I was just looking for some attention he was looking for an "out" from his marriage and was willing to tell his wife anything in order to make sure it was over. The only thing is that when the you know what hit the fan he thought I was going to leave my marriage for him. Hardly. In fact, the phone calls had already stopped by the time his wife found the number on his cell. This whole episode has been over with for TWO years and she decides to send a letter. She actually started stalking me at the place that I pick coffee up in the morning. I talked to her 3 times for at least 45 minutes a piece and I thought that this was all over.

 

So, as Mr Guest explained he looked up the numbers on my cell and every one of them are explainable and he knows who the people are.

 

Don't take everything that you read at face value. I'm glad that my husband and I are working things out and that we are communicating.

 

I also meant to add that through this entire year I have done nothing but remained strong and positive through this entire experience that he had with cancer. I babied him in every way imaginable even sleeping with him on the couch after his surgery when he couldn't go up to the bed as I didn't want him to be alone. He has always come first in my life but I know that no one heard about that, did they?

[LucreziaBorgia]

he is fully aware that I did not cheat on him.

 

But you did. Emotional affairs are as damaging, if not more so to a relationship than a sexual affair.

 

I will admit that two years ago I had what I would call an emotional affair.

 

I'm glad that my husband and I are working things out and that we are communicating.

 

Its good that you two are communicating. Hopefully that includes owning up to your part in the affair and working through what led you in that direction instead of simply trying to downplay it and justify it.

[Guest]

But you did. Emotional affairs are as damaging, if not more so to a relationship than a sexual affair.

 

 

 

 

 

Its good that you two are communicating. Hopefully that includes owning up to your part in the affair and working through what led you in that direction instead of simply trying to downplay it and justify it.

 

Where do you see in my post my downplay of what happened? I take full responsibility in the fact that I made an unwise decision. As for an emotional affair being more damaging there are other affairs that are not directly physical in nature that are also as damaging. Let's just say that your sig line can be intrepreted in many ways and essentially applies here.

[Bryanp]

Mrs. Guest:

You are correct that there are usually more than one side to the story. We can only give advise based on the information that is provided. Thank you for providing additonal viewpoints. I wish you luck.

[jmargel]

The main part in any relationship is communication. When that foundation is taken out, everything else starts to crumble. Unfortunetly we are not at liberty to read both sides of the story, so we can only give advice on what we hear.

 

I know it is extremely hard to give advice when you only hear one side of the story.

 

However emotional cheating, IS cheating. I would much rather my wife have a one-night stand with some stranger then her falling for a guy she never slept with. You both have done each other wrong, however the big point in this is that you two are willing to overcome that hurdle and look for brighter things in the future with each other. I really hope you two consider marriage counseling it would make things SO much easier. Good luck!

[Sup]

Like she said, "don't take everything you read at face value". I'm not saying that this is a fabrication, however, it is possible somehow that she found the site, through computer history, or saved typed features. Of course, she could STILL be lying, to her husband, to us, to thwart any help he may be trying to obtain by us, and to throw husband off the path. Mrs. Guest, you MUST know from reading some of the Threads posted in here state that cheaters will lie to their death, and about ANYTHING, or nothing going on. Like your post, as well as your husbands, we must take it with a grain of salt. I'm not saying that you are lying, but, I'm not eliminating the possibility.

[Sup]

And as far as the house goes, he did infact state that the house was HIS, and I asked him how? Also, you should know that all the laws these day are twisted against men, so even if he didn't mess up in any way, he's still screwed.