blon_dee Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 Hi there everyone.. I'm new here, just been googling to find similar minded souls to chat with.. My story - the condensed version... Was married for 5 years, hb left 2 years ago, leaving me with a 14mth old child at the time.. Fast forward 2 years, i have had a 6 mth relationship, that didnt go so well, and just a week ago i broke up with my last boyfriend of about 5 months. The crux of it is, that the whole time we were together, i just "didn't feel it" basically. I felt we were too different, and just didnt see a future. Plus he was mega keen, told me he was in love with me, blah blah, and i guess in all honesty , i was a total bitch to him.. So understandably i guess, he started to be a bit cool and "busy" a lot, but we were still seeing each other and he never said anything. I was still persisting with the relationship, thinking that the love would grow, i guess i hate being alone. Anyway., i decided a week ago i had had enough of him being so slack really, making no real effort at all in the relationship, and i broke it off with him. Via email. How bad is that? He had been "too busy" to catch up all week, i felt i had to option. In hindsight, i guess i should have waited.. But i didnt... Anyway... ever since, i have been feeling dreadful. I feel like i miss him and i have made a terrible mistake. But amidst all this, i have also realised that i had massive walls up the whole time, because i NEVER dealt with my marriage break up. Now i dont know whether i am confused about the marriage break up issues, or whether i really miss him. I have tried to contact a few times, i know, big mistake, i told him a few days ago i thought i had made a mistake in breaking up, then sent another email explaining that i was confused and maybe having a delayed reaction to my marriage break up. All i have got is a txt saying "i feel this is for the best". I really want to talk to him, i feel i never really got the chance to let him in and now i want him back.. What should i do?? Is it possible too, to feel like im having a breakdown over a marriage that ended 2 years ago? Am i just clinging onto this idea of this guy? I am sooooo confused.... Help!
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