juscri Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I pretty much just want to relieve some stress...my pain started back in highschool...fighting everyone over this one guy who I just knew I would marry...well we had our daughter when I was 18 we got married when I was 19 (1988) I was in college and pregnant with my first son by 20 and my love of my life was hooked on cocaine by my 5th month of pregnancy by my ninth month my husband beat me while his cousins sat and watch and sent me into labor...after that the abuse didn't stop and no one knew...I watched my mother get abused by my father and she stuck with it to make sure that I had everything that I need...they had their own business so we were the average middle class family...I thought that if my mother could do it for me I could do it for my children...little did I know...My world really turned upside down when my son was five months...we lost an 11 room house...now let me explain...while in going to school my mother paid the rent on the apt and bought pampers for my daughter and food came from their business for our home...we moved into the home right before my son was born...well I got up one morning to go pay the rent and the money was gone and he happened again by that time we had no place to live...I got ahold to my father side of the family and we went to Memphis to stay with my Grandmother...Thats when the cheating started...my husband slept with my first cousin (favorite one at that) when I confronted him about it he beat me up in the middle of the street...my grandmother pulled a pistol out on him in order for him to stop...we moved out of my grandmothers house and moved into the projects of Memphis...I started waiting tables...there I met this young man boy (really a man he was 18) he introduced me to his mother and grandmother for I needed a babysitter for both my children for my husband and I both were working(so I thought it turns out that he was with my cousin sitting on the porch drinking while I was working) This young man made sure that I got back and forward to work and that I ate...he was very easy to talk to and wanted nothing in return...he had just gotten a scholarship to school in NC...one night my husband beat me so bad that I had a concussion in the front of my head he actually broke my scull(took 8 years for that to fill back in) the next day he took the bus back to MO where we were from(he cried to his mother so she bought him a ticket and left me and her grandkids) Sooooo! I started working to save to buy a bus ticket to get back home to my husband like a damned fool...the young man beg for me not to go and to stay in Memphis with him and he would work and take care of us...but I loved my husband more the anything in the world and had loved him since I was 14 and didn't know anything or anyone else....I told him that he was to young and had a full life ahead of him and didn't deserve to be stuck with two kids that wasn't his...I came back to MO and moved back in with my mother and he was living with his mother...we moved into an apt about 2 months later his drinking started again and so did the beatings...well it is 1989 now I'm pregnant with my 3rd child and yet again he is still beating me and like usual I'm still with him and like usual no one knows....but the police but I haven't pressed charges and this was before the laws had changed where the police could press the charges themselves...after I had my last son I found out that my husband had yet again slept with his boss...yet again I let it go...about 5 months after my son was born I got a call from his boss at work telling me to tell my husband that me and him need to get check for she found out that she has full blown aides...WELLLLLLLL I brought this to my husband attention and he denied it and said that he never slept with her and that there was no reason to go get tested and if he had slept with her would he be this calm...well I went and got tested anyway....I was fine...and yes I know stupid me I stayed with him and yes the beatings continue...one night we got into it again because I found numbers in his pockets we got into it this time when he hit me I let the police take him away....YES the beatings finally stopped...but I was still with him...over the years we continued to argue about other women...but he wouldn't raise his hands to me...sex was null and void in my life....I'm sorry we screwed once a year and then I was a Nun the rest of the time....Well its 1994 my mother gave me 10 grand to put down on a home for us...so we bought our first home...now remember the young man I had mentioned...well I kept in touch with his mother and grandmother and one day when I called to check on his grandmother he was in Memphis with is family visiting...He had gotten married( He had waited for me for a long time but I wouldn't leave my husband so we had lost touch while he was in college)well we stayed in touch starting then...my husband knew about it for I had nothing to hide and he remembered him as being the kid from Memphis....so he was cool with us talking but his wife didn't know...we didn't think she would understand even though we were 895 mile apart...so over the years my husband continue to do his thing....women (many even though he wouldn't admit it) sitting on the porch from the time he would get home from work about 4pm til about 1 in the morning drinking beer and then would come into the house and pass out on the couch...but would get up and go to work with no hang over and never missed a day...but he wouldn't help me pay any of the bills I had to pay them all my self and support 3 kids...STILLLLLLLL I couldn't let him go....My young friend lets just call him Stone...we would sit on the phone every night and talk about anything and everything...finally he opened up and told me about his wife cheating on him and that she has been doing it since they got married...she even came home and told him a few months after they got married but they had a daughter and he wanted to make it work...from then on it was like a flood gate...se would talk all through the day while we where at work...he was into surveillance I wont say how but we monitored and listed to her phone calls we knew when and where she would be meeting this guy how much he would be giving her...but like me he hung in there his little girl was his world...2000 I almost lost my life I was hit my an 18 wheeler and a pickup truck wound up in ICU for a week with a brain contusion and concusion...the only reason they let me go home after one week was because my husband told the doctors he would be there for me...when we got home he put me in bed and left me there alone with the kids...went and got drunk and let someone still my bank card and drain my account......during this time he had totaled my car and I had no insurance and it cost me 5 grand to get it fixed....well I felt that God had a plan for me...I got in to Church strong and gave my life to Christ...my children, my Church, and my God was all I needed and I made it through each and every day...in 2003 my family went to Memphis and so did Stone's family for his grandmother had a stroke...that was the first time we had seen each other since I had left Memphis....I refused to feel anything and my God wouldn't let me...when we returned back to our respective homes we continued to talk on the phone like we always did...2003 I was always taught that you don't let anyone take your faith from you...well...after years my husband bust my lip open, I had to have 7 stitches on the outside and 7 on the inside of my mouth...that following Sunday I stopped going to church and started opening my eyes again...I had been having dreams about my husband cheating on me in full force....in 2004 he started going to work in my truck and not coming back(I say my truck because he didn't pay any bills) one day I had my friend take me to my job to get my truck, he had left his cell phone in it that he begged me to buy about a month ago...somethng told me to go through it...well it was a strange name in it Biata hell I didn't know if it was male or female so I called it...and a female answered...I told her that I was looking for (gave my husbands name) I told her that I was his sister and he gave me this alt number...I was with my son...I told him give her 1 min and she will call your dads phone and sure enough she did and I ans in a males voice...she asked if I (she thought I was him) gave me (his sister)her phone numer...I told her yes....well after I talked to her, he realized the truck was gone and called my cell phone yelling saying that he need his phone so I brought him his phone...when I got there I asked him who she was he said nobody so I called her back and asked her if she knew (my husband) she said yeah I said have you slept with him....she said yeah...I said how many times she said twice...I said oh...she said well who is this...I said this is his wife....she said HIS WIFE!!!!! So she gave me her address and I went over there after I through my husbands phone at him...when I got there she told me he had told her that he was divorced for 5 years and that I was a crack head and a alcoholic and had took the kids and ran off to Mississippi...Then she begins to tell me a few things more...now remember he is an alcoholic and so is she....she tells me...he told me about sleeping with your cousin....and his boss...oh and his best friends wife who I also know and was over their house often for bomb fires (and she was smiling in my face the whole time)and he had taken her over there to meet them...and when Biata had asked Adrian if he was married she told him no....and Adrain is an Ordained Minister who doesn't believe in interracial relationships (my husbands African American...I'm Vietnamese, French, Nigiran)...well now that I have moved all of what little he owned...which I really bought...to her house....I called Stone...told him what happened and asked him if he was tired of his wife crap and wanted to make a change...he said "I don't have a put to piss in or a window to throw it out of"( he had no credit)...I told him told worry about that...so for the next week my kids and I put the house on the market and stuff in storage...I asked my husband one last time do you want to try and work this out...he said know and that he didn't love me and hasn't loved me for a long time....I asked him for how long he said that he didn't know...(now this was in front of Biata... so a few days later he wanted to come over and talk with the kids who are now 20, 18, and 15 so they both came over....Biata asked him are you sure you don't want to make this work with your family and once again he said no and that he loved her...I told him fine...Well since we have an understanding, I'm moving to NC with Stone...he started yelling and said that you weren't taking the boys ( my daughter was living and going to school with my mother) I said fine they can live with you and Biata....he shut up real quick...this was on a Wed....Thurs he called me and wanted to meet with me down at the river...(Mississippi) I said sure and I took my tape recorder with me...He talked all cash A## SH$% saying how much he loved me and that he wants to be with me and that she wasn't nothing and didn't mean nothing to him and he wanted to be with us and he was sorry...by this time I had taken pictures of him in her car when I first pulled up and had my voice recorder...I told him that I would have to think about it and will get back with him....Well that night I called her and asked her if I could come and see her...so I went over there when he was there...and told her that he was trying to get back with me and that he had used her car to come and meet me...he told her that I was lying and that he didn't say any of them things and I was trying to break them up so I pulled out the tape recorder...so of course he had to say that wasn't from today that was when I first through him out...so me being me, had took the pictures to the one hour photo and had them developed and gave here the pictures with him by her car with the same clothes that he had on at that time...he got mad walked out and slammed the door....Friday he called me claimed to be in a hotel said that he had to get his head together had to think about what he has done to me and his family (and to hers for her grown children were no longer speaking to her) he said that he will be there for the weekend...I told him to let me come to him so we can talk just me and him no arguments no fighting just talking but he said no he needs to be by himself...on Sunday night around 7pm he calls and says can I come home and I asked him if it was what he wanted he said yes...so I went to her apt to get him and her stuff(would you believe she called the police on me for coming to the apt she was sleeping with my husband)...WELLLLLLLLL!!!!!! Well we get home and the phone rings its her...she wants to speak with my husband I told her that he was talking with the kids and to call back....well she didn't even give it 5 mins and she calls back but he wouldn't take the phone...I she said I just want to talk to him for 5 mins you have him for the rest of your life....I told him to take the phone for she will just keep calling so I put it on speaker phone...she asked him "why did you tell me you love me...you told me you wanted to be with me that you didn't love her...why did you FU$* me and then leave me....oh yeah by the way Glo He wasn't in the hotel by himself this weekend I was with him and yes I slept with him again........................................................................................................ 1am Sat morn Packed my truck grabbed my girlfriend, called my little brother told him I needed a co signer for a apt and drove 14 hrs to NC...Stone waiting for me at the hotel when we arrived.......This is 2004...now it is 2006 but the saga isn't over yet...but I'm sure your eyes are either burning or you already have watched the young and the restless
bchlvr Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 This is a very traumatic, frightening story. What have you done in the way of getting professional help? It sounds like the first thing that needs to happen is some good intervention so that both you and your children are safe from abuse and you can explore options in your best interest..
Author juscri Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Well remember I said that the saga wasn't over yet...My daughter was living with my mother...my oldest son wanted to live with me...but my youngest wanted to stay with his father...my oldest said that he would stay with his brother for he didn't want him to be by himself...now remember I put my house on the market so my kids would have had no where to stay with there dad...my mother in law owned a few houses but she wouldn't let him move in none of them without me...so after i go my apt in NC i came back to MO and set up house in one of her houses... i tried to talk to my youngest son again but he wanted to stay with his father (he never witness none of the beatings and his father was his world) because we were living over where my husband family lived he was gone like usual all night long...so when it came time for me to leave it was easy...we only had the one truck which i left for him because he had the kids and needed to get to work...so i rented a truck and left but i didn't go far, i stayed in Memphis with Stone's sister for i knew that leaving my boys wasn't going to work...i turned on a cell phone so that my oldest could keep in touch with me...two weeks later my oldest call and said to come get them he wants to be with me....so i tracked my now happy butt back to MO this time I couldn't leave right away for i had to clean house.... so i waited until he was at work one day and called a girlfriend we loaded her van with the stuff that i had moved into the house and i called his best friend (yeah the one that he slept with his wife and he knows) and told him that he would have to pick him up...paid a guy 300 dollars to help me move some things to NC and on the way we went....outside of Memphis going into Nashville my mother calls...she said that the Detectives were at here house and they were going to charge me with kidnapping my children if i didn't turn around and come back.... he had kicked the back door in called the police and told them i kicked the door in and stole the kids...i told the detective did you pay attention to the keys on the damn stove, i put them there....so we turned around....i called Stone let him know what happened...when i got back there we called an attorney paid 950.00 dollars for a divorce (that i never got, thats another story) in order for me to be able to leave MO....and we were off the next day....we settled in NC Stone really never really moved in with us (he worked 18 hours days) he slept that at night (3am to 5am)he did that to make sure that he took care of his responsibility and was able to help me....his baby mama and i spoke and he told her this is what he wanted and she agreed to leave us alone...well you know that didn't happen....she blew up his cell phone(mind you she didn't want him had been cheating on him for at least 13 years that we could verify) called his job telling his boss that he wont contact her...had his daughter calling him(he would call his daughter only when he knew she wasn't there) blow up his emails called the house and leave messages on why he wouldn't call her back... well the last straw with that was a Friday night he had just gotten in about 3am from work and there was a knock on the door and it was her he wouldn't answer it ....so the b!&%# did the unthinkable....she had had someone bring her to my apt...and she repoed his car knowing that was his only means of getting to work and that if nothing else that will bring him running.... so he got on my sons bike and rode for 3 hours to get to his house...that Saturday i packed what little he had and told him to come and get his stuff...he didn't want to but i told him i left enough drama in MO and didn't need it here....his stuff was packed when he got there and it still took him 4 hours to leave begging....i told him i dont need a man that cant control his B!@&%.... well his sister knew what happened so she called my husband and told him that she don't care how he gets to me but it was his fault that i was here and alone and he better straighten this mess out...(he had my address this whole time, he had called the cell phone co and told them i had moved and wanted to make sure they had the right address and they gave it to him)it was a Friday night and Stone had taken me shopping and out to eat...when i got back my son was standing in the doorway pointing to wards the apt...i called him...he said daddy's here....and yes there more and to answer your question finally no the beatings are not hunting me the cheating is what is tearing me apart right now...but there is more....
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