Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Okay I am in my mid twenties and I have been married for two years and i have cheated on my husband twice already. The first guy was after my first year of perfect marriage. After the first year everything changed. The guy was an ex- that I pretty much never got over. We have stayed in contact for years. I thought I would always want him back but now we are just close friends so that ended but I still am not happy with my husband. I met this other guy before I got married liked him but was all for marriage now we have kept on a side relationship and I feel for him so much. he is all I think about and even though we would not be with each other all the time it is so spread out I really am confused now bc he stopped talking to me out of the blue and I'm so hurt trying to act like nothing with my husband. I have a good man but I obviously feel like something is missing. We have no kids and i don't want any right now, I did when i first got married I tell my self to just work it out with my husband but I go threw real bad depression and now I am feeling alone and my husband has no clue. I know everyone will say to lose these others and work on my marriage but I just don't have the want any more. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Okay I am in my mid twenties and I have been married for two years and i have cheated on my husband twice already. he is all I think about and even though we would not be with each other all the time it is so spread out I really am confused now bc he stopped talking to me out of the blue and I'm so hurt trying to act like nothing with my husband. I have a good man but I obviously feel like something is missing. We have no kids and i don't want any right now, I did when i first got married I tell my self to just work it out with my husband but I go threw real bad depression and now I am feeling alone and my husband has no clue. I know everyone will say to lose these others and work on my marriage but I just don't have the want any more. Then divorce and spare your husband the possibility of infecting him with sexually transmitted diseases. Reread your post. There's a lot of "I". It's all about you! I have a good man but I obviously feel like something is missing. What you're missing is a sense of self-respect. The minute your old BF didn't work out, you're on to the next one. You're always looking for that "special something" for which that is "missing". Be honest with yourself and your husband. He'll be hurt, but he deserves better than what you're throwing at him. Leave the marriage and find yourself. Grow up while you're at it. You don't play with people's lives and emotions. Seek some counseling if you have to. If you're working full-time, your medical insurance will cover the first five sessions. Maybe then you'll have more to offer to the next guy once you figure yourself out. You've already decided you'e not happy with your husband. So leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Okay I am in my mid twenties and I have been married for two years and i have cheated on my husband twice already. The first guy was after my first year of perfect marriage. After the first year everything changed. The guy was an ex- that I pretty much never got over. We have stayed in contact for years. I thought I would always want him back but now we are just close friends so that ended but I still am not happy with my husband. I met this other guy before I got married liked him but was all for marriage now we have kept on a side relationship and I feel for him so much. he is all I think about and even though we would not be with each other all the time it is so spread out I really am confused now bc he stopped talking to me out of the blue and I'm so hurt trying to act like nothing with my husband. I have a good man but I obviously feel like something is missing. We have no kids and i don't want any right now, I did when i first got married I tell my self to just work it out with my husband but I go threw real bad depression and now I am feeling alone and my husband has no clue. I know everyone will say to lose these others and work on my marriage but I just don't have the want any more. Why don't you tell your husband what you have done, and let HIM make his own decision as to whether he wants to stay married to you? Yes, this WILL destroy him, but, YOU did that to him. Let hubby find someone else who he can trust, if he can EVER trust women again. I know it's harsh, but what you are doing is MORE harsh, there's NO reason for this. Link to post Share on other sites
tonyp56 Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 As a man that was cheated on by his wife, I have to say, there is no excuse for cheating. Either you and your husband are happy and you will remain married--and you will start being faithful--or you are not and you will get divorced. Cheating is wrong, for you, for your husband, and for the men that you are having affairs with. Either you get divorced or you keep your legs together for men that are not your husband. Sorry for being so direct, but you have got to hear that. The truth is, marriage isn't a walk in the park, it takes work, it takes dedication, and it takes patience. If you aren't happy with this husband, you've got to ask yourself, why, is it you or is it him. If it is him, get divorced and let him move on. If it is you, you've got to understand, you'll never be "happy" because the common denominator is you. If you can't make this marriage work, then you'll never have a successful, happy, and rewarding marriage. You'll be in your mid-forties talking about getting divorced the third, fourth, or even fifth time. All because you didn't get the real problem fixed, you. IMO, it sounds like the problem is you, if there is something your husband does that is wrong, you didn't mention it, you simply talked about how you've cheated on him, and how you aren't happy. That makes me think this is a you problem, not a him problem. Good luck, and I hope you find what you want, but you need to figure it out quickly, before your husband spends any more time with you. If you're going to work it out, great, but you need to start NOW. If you're not going to work it out, you need to leave NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Agree with you Tony! I'm simply amazed at the mentality of cheaters! Amazing!! Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 this person......................................... A cheater is a cheater is a cheater........ Maybe if we said somethinglike ' we understand you have issues with your husband that drove you to another man and opened your legs to him, then when he dropped you, you found another who you again opened your legs for, but we understand it's your husbands fault...... She might have come back and replied to you guys but noooooooooo she reads the truth and disapears................................................................................... Man some people...................... I feel so sorry for the guy, when he finds out what has happened he will be destroyed like a lot of us on here...... Link to post Share on other sites
dsancious Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 married a woman that was in "love" with her ex. She was banging him two months after we were married. I found out a year and a-half ago and tried the marriage counseling route but was unable to get past the mega-betrayal. She finally went back home last week after a very uncomfortable 2 month in-house separation. My wife told me and continues to tell me that it was my fault that she cheated-stated that "you weren't there for me." My one piece of advice to the poster is to let your husband know what you have done and then leave the marriage. It will NEVER work-believe me. Link to post Share on other sites
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