Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 will whisper in her ear.... C, it's time - and C and the Fairie will smile and she will let someone very fortunate into her heart and soul and that person had better be ready for a love so deep, warm and real that they will feel like they have exploded - inside - like fireworks in Paris. the woman i know as C will always be there. she will tell people she has changed, and of course she has, but the gift she has will always be there. i will be the first to admit that the narrative presented to me over the last 4 years is not the C i knew and that's ok...it wasn't an illusion, nor a ghost, it wasn't a lie, it wasn't an expectation - it was whatever she could give me at during those times. we never had sex - we always made love and i will not share or trade those for diamonds. All you have to do is go back to our early emails or remember how we were to see how much things have changed. i witnesses L grow and C as a woman - the rise and fall but only the parts she decided to show me. Is that fair? No, of course not. Was it her right? Yes, it is her life. I know for me, it has been extremely difficult to witness the different paths we have taken. You gave me so much strength and courage, and ability – things which I never had before - YES U DID! An d you took them all back just as fast. But somehow we managed to enjoy for a while things that came naturally. It’s funny now because I can see every milestone where something wondrous occurred and how that moment moved us to where we are now. I remember every time I felt a shift, a blessing, a joy, alive, a new experience and what actions and words came afterwards from both u and I. I remember embracing us in a way at those times where I never stopped to think what was happening until it was too late and my joy began to become mistaken for obsession, my nativity became overwhelming to you, and my new-found happiness became something that struck an uneasy chord within you. And then suddenly, the shift happened and we moved from being a couple totally in balance and together to a couple where things somehow didn’t line-up. I remember receiving the first rejection, the first indicator that where we were headed had changed and I remember how that paralyses me and made me feel weak and stupid. I remember it was how much being with u moved me and how much wanting to discuss everything and learn and understand everything just spilled out of me. It moved from quiet amazement of how every single aspect of how we were together was so perfect and natural, to simple, giddy conversations after we had made love, to my desire to have us examine and discover what we had. And when you told me that what I was doing was counterproductive, how I was making you feel uncomfortable, I was divested and that started me on OUR long decline – to where WE ARE now. So all be aware that in time comes a woman who will overwhelm the soul she has chosen to be her forever - and i believe that it will be the last time she lets go. i will miss u terribly g
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