Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Ok, picture this: Say you're in love with someone, and you have been for a long, long time. I'm not talking a little crush, I'm talking undeniably, heart-crushingly in L-O-V-E. You think about them every day, even though you hardly see them anymore. You know that they had feelings for you too at one time, and they might still, but it never worked out for the two of you to be together for a lot of different reasons. You feel like the two of you together would be a life-long partnership and you would love them forever - it would be absolute happiness to be with them. BUT the only way you two could ever be together would be to hide it from everyone, or abandon both of your lives and run away together. You're not even sure that the person would be willing to abandon their life or to sneak around for you - but something tells you that your strong feelings might be reciprocated. Is it worth it to tell him or her that you're in love with them?
SoCalCatman72 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Yes, if you love someone, you should tell them. Too many great loves have never been because no one spoke up.
Art_Critic Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Yes, if you love someone, you should tell them. Too many great loves have never been because no one spoke up. I agree.......
Mythical Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 I defiently think you should tell htme. If you don't you will never know what could have happened and you could loose something very important. Its a very strong feeling to have, and I think it is very important that you go through with your feelings.
SoCalCatman72 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 BUT the only way you two could ever be together would be to hide it from everyone, or abandon both of your lives and run away together. You're not even sure that the person would be willing to abandon their life or to sneak around for you - but something tells you that your strong feelings might be reciprocated. Is it worth it to tell him or her that you're in love with them? Out of curiosity, why would you have to hide the relationship?
Adora Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Thats a toughy! It really depends on how you look at it. Love has so many variables you never really know. For instance: If you were to talk to this other person and confess your undying love to them ... what would the consequences be? Either they return their love to you and agree that yes, it'd be the best thing in the world... or they'd deny your love in return and become angry that you'd even suggest such a thing. If they didn't hold the same feelings as you do, and you are good friends now, think of the damage it'd cause to your friendship if it backfired on you. Is this other person currently involved with someone else? Are you allowing yourself to be blinded by their happiness (if they are involved and happy) because you are only thinking about yourself and this other person? Not everyone involved? I know you said you'd both have to abandon your lives to be together.. is this because you yourself are with someone else? Sometimes loving someone takes letting them go. If they are happy now with their life, you'd want to make sure they were always happy. Interfering if they are involved in a healthy, happy relationship now (assuming they are, correct me if I am wrong) would only cause pain to them. It really depends on all that is going on in both of your lives. Feelings, although love is the strongest one, should never come between reality. If you aren't together now, is there a reason for this? Family? Financial? Other partners?
RecordProducer Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 it would be absolute happiness to be with them. No such thing in this world - at least not BECAUSE some creepy, crawly creature created it for ya! Is it worth it to tell him or her that you're in love with them? Of course! It's always good to make a change when you're in limbo state. Things will either go upward or downward, which is also good because you'll have some closure. If you're a woman, I am sure you won't get him to divorce his wife. When a man wants to do that, he doesn't wait for the woman to suggest it - it's not in their nature. Chances are: he is comfortable with the situation the way it is and if you make the first move, he will only feel tension, perhaps withdraw, and possibly start feeding you with bullsh*t about the two of you being together as soon as his kids finish elementary school. The elementary school will be replaced with PhD and then it will be too late already. My advice: if you are not happy with your husband and would gladly divorce him, consider it. But to leave him only in case your lover divorces his wife is unfair and insane. As soon as you start living with the other guy, you'll discover that he is not such a great adventure as he seems now. He will become the same bore as a million other spouses.
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Out of curiosity, why would you have to hide the relationship? I used to date his best friend. Sounds bad, I know, but I met his friend first. When I broke up with him (we were not quite engaged, but he talked about marrying me a lot), it really broke his heart, and the guy I'm in love with helped him through a lot of that. I just know him too well - he would never date me in front of my ex/his best friend, because it would cause my ex a lot of pain. Plus all of my ex's other friends are his best friends - can you imagine how awkward it would be and how much they would rag on him for dating the woman that broke their friend's heart? We would have to hide it, or if we wanted to have it out in the open, we would probably have to live in a different city. However, that doesn't mean there aren't feelings there - he's been vocal about his feelings for me in the past. For a long time I've been in love with him, but never said anything or acted on it because I figured there would never be a chance. We are both with other people right now; I don't know how his relationship is because I hardly ever see him anymore. But everytime we see each other those old feelings arise. Lately I've been wondering why I just assumed there will never be a chance. Like somebody responded above, a lot of great loves have never had a chance because nobody said anything. I thought the other day that there's a chance that I could grow old and die without ever kissing him - that seems impossible somehow. I care about the man I'm with (though we're not close to marriage or anything like that). I don't want it to sound like I'm in a relationship and lusting after other men. I've tried to forget about this guy, I really have. There's just something that keeps me thinking about him and smiling when I do. I don't think he knows how I feel. But it's really hard weighing the pros and cons of telling him or not.
jaylee Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 My advice is this: if you can no longer go on living without knowing whether or not this relationship could flourish and turn into something wonderful, then by all means, confess your feelings. At least then you'll have some sort of closure. Either that, or continue to work on your current relationship and try to put this other person out of year head, no matter how much it hurts or how hard it is. (This is speaking from experience). Take a day at a time. See what happens. But I do know this: life is too short to live it unhappy. (And now I'm being extremely hypocritical). Good luck either way... If true love does in fact exist, I have yet to experience it.
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