Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 I've thrown myself back into the dating game, after several years being single with some dysfunctional relationships thrown in. Started internet dating, even!! Met a guy that I like, start dating/sleeping with him. Now my heart's tied up in it, after 2 weeks of fun I get 3 weeks of non-attention. So I start to figure he's just not that in to me. But I can't let it go-sex is closely tied up to like/love for me and I find it hard to believe ANYONE could not like me. Sigh. Stood me up once-called the next day and invited me out, paid for my pub tab etc. So I forgave him. Called the next week and let me know had buddies from out of town in so not available during weekend. That was thoughtful. Stood me up last night, I had to call-twice-to find out meeting ran overlong and no time tonight for date (please note-I have THREE pumpkins in my *#(@ng car that need carving) and he'd see me on the webcam. So I get stood up then too. He went to bed!!I even CALLED him (I am so ashamed) I sent a message stating that if he's not into dating me to spell it out because I am pushy and don't take cues well. But that I'm hot, good in bed and worth it. And that I like him. Haven't received a reply yet. I AM pushy. I have needs, dammit. I know it's only been a couple of weeks but if I'm sleeping with someone, we're dating. I just don't hand that stuff out around the neighbourhood. And I've been on other dates-none of them hold the appeal. I even have one tonight. Help me snap out of this. I am making a fool out of myself for some dude that can't even call me to find out how my day went. I feel like such an *ss. Even told me to call him TONIGHT. I have to work tomorrow, so can't really do anything-please, oh please give me the strength to not ever call this dude again.
Adora Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 And I've been on other dates-none of them hold the appeal. I even have one tonight. If you are out dating other people, that alone should tell you that you aren't that attached to him. It sounds like he just wants the benefits part - the sex. The emotional part, he doesn't seem too involved. Continue seeing other people, but don't allow yourself to easily give it out if you want more from that person than just a sexual relationship. Find that someone that clicks with every need you desire. Eventually it'll happen if you aren't trying to hard. He doesn't sound to be the committed type, least not with you atm. You can't change people, so if he isn't as willing as you are then you need to realize (which you have) and push yourself to move on. You can do it!
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 If you are out dating other people, that alone should tell you that you aren't that attached to him. It sounds like he just wants the benefits part - the sex. The emotional part, he doesn't seem too involved. Continue seeing other people, but don't allow yourself to easily give it out if you want more from that person than just a sexual relationship. Find that someone that clicks with every need you desire. Eventually it'll happen if you aren't trying to hard. He doesn't sound to be the committed type, least not with you atm. You can't change people, so if he isn't as willing as you are then you need to realize (which you have) and push yourself to move on. You can do it! Except that I am that attached to him. Going out on other dates is me trying to find someone that I like MORE. Sigh. And sleeping with someone you like and are attracted to isn't so much easily giving it out as it is ...I don't know. I certainly didn't think I was being easy. He still contacts me, and I do correspond-I'm just not calling, and not asking him for dates. It's all I can do. I have weak moments, where I send a message etc but I'm trying to move on as best I can. I have periods of crazy, but I'm working on it. Wish I could find someone as interesting and unique to help me over this. You're absolutely right, can't force someone to like you. I just wish he did. Well, I think he does but I wish he liked me enough to pursue a relationship.
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 Don't have sex so soon. Sex helps to make you attached to someone - but it works way better on women than on men.
ash519 Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 The situation is crappy! I have kind of been there. Besides the fact that u seem full of yourself, you are making yourself SEEM so needy. You are making this so easy for him. He's not that into you. If you back off maybe he will still want to contact you adn sleep with you but other than that he doesnt care. If a man wants more, he'll show and give more. Leave him, and dont answer those 'booty' calls he'll make when you in turn bust his ego.
luvtoto Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 I've thrown myself back into the dating game, after several years being single with some dysfunctional relationships thrown in. Started internet dating, even!! Good! Nothing wrong with internet dating if you are careful. Met a guy that I like, start dating/sleeping with him. Now my heart's tied up in it, after 2 weeks of fun I get 3 weeks of non-attention. Oh, dear. Sounds like you gave it away too fast. Never get your heart involved until you are SURE that you are both on the same page. So I start to figure he's just not that in to me. Should've figured this out BEFORE sleeping with him. But I can't let it go-sex is closely tied up to like/love for me and I find it hard to believe ANYONE could not like me. Sigh. Who cares if he liked you or not...did you like him? What was so great about this guy?? Before you had sex with this guy, maybe you should've found out more about him. Like, is he looking for a serious relationship?? Or...is he just casually dating?? It's ok to ask guys questions. It's a way of weeding out the jerks. I wouldn't give a guy sex, unless I firmly believed that he truly was interested in me. Stood me up once If it were me, that would've been the end of it with him. -called the next day and invited me out, paid for my pub tab etc. So I forgave him. This showed him that he could treat you like crap and get away with it. He then lost respect for you at that very moment probably. Called the next week and let me know had buddies from out of town in so not available during weekend. That was thoughtful. That was NOT thoughtful. ugh. I wouldn't have even answered the phone. This guy is way to into his friends, and not into a meaningful relationship with you. This guy had 'red-flags' all over him. By that I mean, he gave you plenty of clues that he was not interested in you. Stood me up last night, I had to call-twice-to find out meeting ran overlong and no time tonight for date (please note-I have THREE pumpkins in my *#(@ng car that need carving) and he'd see me on the webcam. Walk away, woman!! You are groveling for a jerk here! What about the pumpkim & webcam?? So I get stood up then too. Do you see how this all could have been prevented?? He went to bed!!I even CALLED him (I am so ashamed) I sent a message stating that if he's not into dating me to spell it out because I am pushy and don't take cues well. But that I'm hot, good in bed and worth it. And that I like him. Haven't received a reply yet. Who cares what this guy is doing or thinking or whatever. Gross. No, you are not very good as taking cues. Sorry. I AM pushy. I have needs, dammit. I know it's only been a couple of weeks but if I'm sleeping with someone, we're dating. Oh, no that's not the way it is in the dating world. You need to establish exclusivity between the two of you first. I just don't hand that stuff out around the neighbourhood. And I've been on other dates-none of them hold the appeal. I even have one tonight. Sounds like you go for the bad guys. Help me snap out of this. I am making a fool out of myself for some dude that can't even call me to find out how my day went. I feel like such an *ss. Even told me to call him TONIGHT. Who told you to call him tonight?? You still talking to the guy that keeps standing you up?? I have to work tomorrow, so can't really do anything-please, oh please give me the strength to not ever call this dude again. Ok. First off, Don't call him again. You deserve much better than this!!!! Then... BEFORE you got back into the dating game, you should've established the kind of guy you would like to meet. It's ok to be picky. What kind of guy are you looking for?? AFTER you make your list...did that guy even come close to the kind of man you want?? I HIGHLY doubt it. Doesn't sound like he had too much to offer anyone.
DanielMadr Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Never get your heart involved until you are SURE that you are both on the same page. Sounds pragmatic...in a good way but how you ever know you are on the same page? I think its better to sleep with someone sympathetic after few dates than dating someone for a year, humiliating him by thinking he is not to be trusted or whatever. And after that you have nothing....at least you could have fun for a few weeks....now you have nothing----not broken but cold heart.
maay Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Sounds pragmatic...in a good way but how you ever know you are on the same page? I think its better to sleep with someone sympathetic after few dates than dating someone for a year, humiliating him by thinking he is not to be trusted or whatever. And after that you have nothing....at least you could have fun for a few weeks....now you have nothing----not broken but cold heart. well well...this is how you can tell the thinking different between men and women. ha
luvtoto Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Sounds pragmatic...in a good way but how you ever know you are on the same page? By taking the relationship slow, dude. I am not saying to reject the guy sexually. But, after two weeks of dating him, sex is just that...sex. I've noticed in your other threads, Daniel, that you refer to women as terrorists. What's that all about??
DanielMadr Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 By taking the relationship slow, dude. I am not saying to reject the guy sexually. But, after two weeks of dating him, sex is just that...sex. I've noticed in your other threads, Daniel, that you refer to women as terrorists. What's that all about?? There is fast, too fast, slow and too slow. I think it is individual. Harshly put....When girl is waiting more then 5 dates she is playing him or doesnt love him so strong...lets say 60% interest level. If you want to wait just to be sure....you have make clear its certainly not about him....and he has to believe it:rolleyes: Terrorists? They are like women.....In every kindness they see (hint of) weakness. And some are wearing scarf
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