caring guy Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Hi I posted on here the other week about me eyeing a girl up on the bus & her looking at me, we got of same stop & she was along side me on the pavement!, she was grinning & i said whats up, i said i'd noticed her & thought she was beautiful & do you wanna drink, so we went there & then! All went well & we had dinner the following Saturday & i put my arm round her to keep her warm which she didn't mind. We agreed to meet again soon, but we accidentally bumped into each other in town the other day & she was on her way home & i was going to a shop. 5 mins after we parted, she called me & said she'd got off bus & did i want to go for a bite to eat, i said yeh. After the bite, we were sat opposite each other & our hands on table & i held her hands, she was ok with it. Advice i dot here was that on the next date, i should try & kiss her, as i do on each cheek when we meet & depart. We leaft cafe & i walked her to her stop & when the bus came, after the 2 cheek kisses i went for the lips to give her just a peck & she said not yet! I felt an idiot & texted her to appologise, she said not to worry. We met today to go for a walk. We talked & i stupidly brought it up & she said not to talk about it, she just didn't have the feeling! I was curious as to what she meant (she's Russian), wether she meant she didn't have the feeling then or permanently (my stupid impatience & need to know). I asked her & she said lets not talk about it. Which in hindsight, we shouldn't. She instigated hand holding today & touched me more around my back. When on the bus she even didn't mind me putting my hand on her knee & she put her hand on mine & had a doze with her head on my shoulder. At the next stop we stood together close & i kissed her head. All ok. When we departed, i mentioned what i was curious about & (about the feeling being just then or permanent), she said she just thought it too early. We kissed cheeks & departed. We will see each other again, maybe on Sunday or in week. I texted her saying i was silly & forget what i said & that the day was nice, i just hope i haven't messed up, i'm just a little impatient sometimes but i wanted to know if i was wasting my time if she had no feeling, but after i thought how stupid i was, this girl is holding my hand, of course she likes me, just don't push it!! Now i regret asking. This isn't a big deal is it ?? cg
gfto Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 after the 2 cheek kisses i went for the lips to give her just a peck & she said not yet! Unfortunately, this means she has low interest in you. You absolutely did the right thing by going in for a peck on the lips. This is how you call a stroker's bluff, and you called it! This was your second or third date with this woman. If she won't let you give her a peck on the lips after one or two dates, she isn't interested in you. All the hand holding, knee touching, etc. doesn't mean anything. (And, it sounds like you're initiating most of the touching, which is a mistake.) When she refused the kiss, you should've smiled, told her to have a very nice evening, and then flushed her phone number. I wouldn't waste anymore time with this girl. Move on.
Walk Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I don't really like guys trying to kiss me so soon. I mean, he had one "coffee" meet up, and then the grabbing a meal and he dives in for the kiss... I'd feel it was a little abrupt. But I like to get to know a guy a bit longer before I start swapping spit with him. Find out what his middle name is, and if he lets his dog lick him on the mouth. Really all I'm saying is that *I* personally think she's very interested in you. I just think she might need a little more time to get to know you a little better.
Author caring guy Posted October 28, 2006 Author Posted October 28, 2006 gfto The longest relationship i had i did all the wrong things in the beginning, she didn't want a bf & i pleaded with her & i cried when she said she didn't want me! She asked if i wanted to remain friends but didn't want to lead me on! I said yes as it was better than nothing! Eventually after going walks, she took me to the park & snogged the face off me hey! What about that... Walk She said what you. She personally thinks its too early & after thought i agree, the tension builds, the longer we wait. Each date has moved forward, from shaking hands the day we met, to kiss on cheek on 1st proper date, to holding hands on 2nd date, to her touching me on arm & leg & holding my hand & hugging at bus stop. Next, who knows, but if it carries on the way it has, the kiss won't be far off. What about the language misunderstanding about her 'feeling' that i didn't get & asking her if it was just that time or always. She said, just not ready at moment, i just wanted to know what she meant!! cg
Walk Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I probably would've wanted to know the same thing, about if her feelings were permenant or temporary. I'd take her at her word though. If she did think of you only as a friend, then I think you would've heard the dreaded "I like you as a friend" words in a context that would be clear that she's not looking to date. But you didn't post anything about that... Try and relax some. She seems into you. Have a little confidence that you're a great person and she'll want to spend time with you.
Author caring guy Posted October 28, 2006 Author Posted October 28, 2006 Hi Walk I just hope that it hasn't messed it up. She said when i asked her "we shouldn't be talking about this" & i agree now as i guess things should happen naturaly. I feel i wanted to know... If only she'd phrased it differently by saying "i'm not ready for that YET". Instead of "I had no feeling". Do you think she thinks im pushing, i said i was silly & we agreed to forget it! I know now what she meant now, i just hope it can be put behind us & yes your right, i do act cool with her & make her laugh & we chat loads & i think i impress her with my interest in her, where she's from & things in common. I fancy her a lot cg
gfto Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 gfto The longest relationship i had i did all the wrong things in the beginning, she didn't want a bf & i pleaded with her & i cried when she said she didn't want me! She asked if i wanted to remain friends but didn't want to lead me on! I said yes as it was better than nothing! Eventually after going walks, she took me to the park & snogged the face off me hey! What about that... well, she didn't keep you around. how long was this relationship?
gfto Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 I don't really like guys trying to kiss me so soon. I mean, he had one "coffee" meet up, and then the grabbing a meal and he dives in for the kiss... I'd feel it was a little abrupt. But I like to get to know a guy a bit longer before I start swapping spit with him. I'm talking about peck on the lips; not swapping spit. So, you've never been on a date where you were hoping your date would kiss you at the end of the night? The "coffee" guy you're talking about....what was your interest level in him like to begin with? low? high? lukewarm?
Author caring guy Posted October 28, 2006 Author Posted October 28, 2006 mm, it lasted around 2 & half years. I didn't approach her for a peck, i kissed her on both cheeks & then held her face & went in slow for a snog as i thought all was going ok, i just moved too fast. cg
gfto Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 mm, it lasted around 2 & half years. I didn't approach her for a peck, i kissed her on both cheeks & then held her face & went in slow for a snog as i thought all was going ok, i just moved too fast. cg what's a "snog"?
gfto Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 never mind. I just looked it up. You want to go for an easy peck on the lips; not a snog.
Author caring guy Posted October 28, 2006 Author Posted October 28, 2006 Well i suppose i wasn't meaning full on french kiss with tongues, but i did aim for a caring lengthy lip hugg that showed warmth not passion as maybe a kiss would during hot sex!! Maybe you get now why she shyed away? If i'd have just pecked her, it still may have shocked her. We're all different & for her, from a different country, maybe with different values, may need more time for that, but holding hands & cuddling is cool for now, as i say, it's increasing in touchiness with each date! as she's touching me now. Just hope what i said hasn't harmed things. To me it's nothing & we said lets forget. cg
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