Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 there is one year of my life that if i could take back i surely would only in the way that if i could have 'completed' certain tasks [ex and i needed to clean house] and if we could have done so together, things might look different today - then again maybe not. the thing is as adults it is our responsibility to keep the lid of the pot from boiling over - and that year no-body did a great job. and as hard as that year was on all of us, and as much as i wish it had brought us together instead of apart, there is always some hidden treasure that comes out of hardship, some realized benefit that makes all that struggle worth while - and i remember at one point - i thought to myself, have i, have we, all gone thru this for nothing? later on i was talking with a friend and she told me, just wait, it will appear, you will be rewarded for going thru that. and, i knew she was right by the sound of her voice - the sound of belief. and that changed me around. it was the hand reaching out telling me, if u stand, you will see it. and i did. all those hidden triggers, became visible, the solutions or corrections to them simple because the demons had a light shining on them - so shame, guilt, pride, courage, all rested naked up above me in the air like clouds you could blow away with a kiss. and that enabled me to turn things around with honesty. what an amazing gift. then as months passed, and i got stronger, my son watching, hoping there would be no relapse, and when enuff time as gone to to convinvce him that dad was indeed going nowhere, he released everything he had held inside. see, he was the only one that constantly and simply said 'i love and believe in you' and i knew what he was doing. so, as he cried i told him 'i know u were worried i might not make it back and you held your fears in because you knew that would bring me down. but u don't have to hold them in anymore." what amaziong strength my son has and he is only 10. i am a lucky man. i did discover many, many things
peterparks Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 That's a great life experience. Thank you for sharing your story.
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