Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 My XMM used to be my boss. Two months ago we broke up. I'm going to tell you my story. He started an affair with me few months ago. Everytime I tried to stop this unhealthy relationship he would get emotionally mad. He asked me not to give him up whatever reason and we must go on until he found a solution. He stressed that he did not love his wife anymore. He stayed in his marriage because of his kids. One day, I received his SMS at the time of taking his vacation. Content was about asking me to leave the company before they came back (with his family). There is no other way, no choice. I called him at once asking what's going on with you and he claimed that his wife suspected us. After that, he dared not to answer my phone calls anymore. The last SMS from him was "please stop SMS, no contact anymore". My heart was broken and dropped down into a deep valley. Even though I begged him for giving me a chance letting me stay in my job as I had financial problem. What an evil man!! He almost destroyed my career, my own family, my reputation, my respect at all !! I feel very very upset !!
Marielle Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Dont listen to that so called "guest", most of them are angry BS who do not understand it's also the fault of theur husbands who go after woman, with promises and "love". As per your xmm, what a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can he be called a human being, piece of trash! You'll be fine, hun...Just take it easy, there are a lot of better ppl out there. /// \\\ \\\hugs///
NoIDidn't Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 This is a case where you are entitled to a little retribution. Sue him for firing you or suggesting that you quit your job all b/c of his desire to keep his W from finding out. If you are in the states, you WILL win. If his M is in jeopardy, its as much his fault as yours. More his fault though. And b/c this was at work, you both will have h*ll to pay. Sorry. Get a good Labor Lawyer and sue, sue, sue. That is your legal right.
Craig Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 What an evil man!! He almost destroyed my career, my own family, my reputation, my respect at all !! I feel very very upset !! Evil man? You're the one f*cking someone else's husband. Don't you have any responsibility for what happens in your life? I can't believe you actually believe what you wrote. Is this a troll?
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 What an evil man!! He almost destroyed my career, my own family, my reputation, my respect at all !! I feel very very upset !! You have a right to be upset, but he isn't the only one to blame here. You allowed this to happen...You put your own family, your career, your reputation, and respect at risk. You knew going in he was married, and that he was your boss. Hard lesson learned, and I'm sure you're in pain, but it's time to move on, get another job, fix your marriage and forget this MM completely.
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 My XMM used to be my boss. Two months ago we broke up. I'm going to tell you my story. He started an affair with me few months ago. Everytime I tried to stop this unhealthy relationship he would get emotionally mad. He asked me not to give him up whatever reason and we must go on until he found a solution. He stressed that he did not love his wife anymore. He stayed in his marriage because of his kids. One day, I received his SMS at the time of taking his vacation. Content was about asking me to leave the company before they came back (with his family). There is no other way, no choice. I called him at once asking what's going on with you and he claimed that his wife suspected us. After that, he dared not to answer my phone calls anymore. The last SMS from him was "please stop SMS, no contact anymore". My heart was broken and dropped down into a deep valley. Even though I begged him for giving me a chance letting me stay in my job as I had financial problem. What an evil man!! He almost destroyed my career, my own family, my reputation, my respect at all !! I feel very very upset !! It sounds like your saying that this is all his fault. Here is a phrase that you obviously don't know that may help you in the future: "I don't have sex with married men, it's wrong". Try it, you will be surprised at how well it works if you really believe it. No one can make you have an affair. This was your choice and now you want sympathy because he ended it. Please explain that logic.
reneet Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 It sounds like your saying that this is all his fault. Here is a phrase that you obviously don't know that may help you in the future: "I don't have sex with married men, it's wrong". Try it, you will be surprised at how well it works if you really believe it. No one can make you have an affair. This was your choice and now you want sympathy because he ended it. Please explain that logic.
lovernotafighter Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 no one thinks it's wrong of him to ask her to quit her job? hey a affair is what is it is, but if he feels that way he should quit.
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 no one thinks it's wrong of him to ask her to quit her job? hey a affair is what is it is, but if he feels that way he should quit. I guess since he is the boss, he feels she should leave. They both have poor judgment so it's hard to justify any of their actions.
elijahBailey Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 no one thinks it's wrong of him to ask her to quit her job? hey a affair is what is it is, but if he feels that way he should quit. of course it's wrong. He's using his position to make her quit, although he's got no right to do so. If things get ugly, he's probably got a lot more to lose than her.
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 You have a right to be upset, but he isn't the only one to blame here. You allowed this to happen...You put your own family, your career, your reputation, and respect at risk. You knew going in he was married, and that he was your boss. Hard lesson learned, and I'm sure you're in pain, but it's time to move on, get another job, fix your marriage and forget this MM completely. This is the best advice on here yet. Haven't you ever heard of the saying "don't crap where you eat". This is what happens when you do. Just look it as a major lesson in life, and stop blaming others for problems you brought onto yourself.
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 What a DOG. So he gets to have sex on the side and then when he decides it's enough he just tosses you aside. I have been through something somewhat similar, it's over now but no threat of being fired (yet). If I were in your position I would sue his ass. I keep all the incriminating contact with MM safe that will be used as evidence if the need arises. If he ever fires me, this will be sent to his W first then I will get a good lawyer. Don't let the dog get away with it. He ruins your life - you ruin his - it's only fair.
Dayzie Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 Evil man? You're the one f*cking someone else's husband. Don't you have any responsibility for what happens in your life? I can't believe you actually believe what you wrote. Is this a troll? well he is messing around on his wife, think that is pretty evil
Dayzie Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 This is a case where you are entitled to a little retribution. Sue him for firing you or suggesting that you quit your job all b/c of his desire to keep his W from finding out. If you are in the states, you WILL win. If his M is in jeopardy, its as much his fault as yours. More his fault though. And b/c this was at work, you both will have h*ll to pay. Sorry. Get a good Labor Lawyer and sue, sue, sue. That is your legal right. I totally agree!!!
Guest Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 After read all the replies, I intent to bring out my point. Yes, it's my fault for having an affair with him no matter what reason behind. But, please focus on what's the way he's used to end this relationship. For now, I only need a fair judgment on my career. I did nothing wrong on my job responsibilities. My performance is satisfactory and I always get good comments from colleagues / senior management in the office. I've made a complaint to HR department by telling them the whole story. HR also thinks that he has no right to fire me without any reasonable explanation on the dissatisfactions of my job. Now I have been transferred to other department. Why I let him stay in his personal comfortable zone as senior management level to his division. He should also bear the consequences as he's the one who started the game. I'm also considering to report this incident to global head office.
Guest Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 After read all the replies, I intent to bring out my point. Yes, it's my fault for having an affair with him no matter what reason behind. But, please focus on what's the way he's used to end this relationship. For now, I only need a fair judgment on my career. I did nothing wrong on my job responsibilities. My performance is satisfactory and I always get good comments from colleagues / senior management in the office. I've made a complaint to HR department by telling them the whole story. HR also thinks that he has no right to fire me without any reasonable explanation on the dissatisfactions of my job. Now I have been transferred to other department. Why I let him stay in his personal comfortable zone as senior management level to his division. He should also bear the consequences as he's the one who started the game. I'm also considering to report this incident to global head office. Yes, he should pay for it just as you have .....
lighthouse Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 This is a case where you are entitled to a little retribution. Sue him for firing you or suggesting that you quit your job all b/c of his desire to keep his W from finding out. If you are in the states, you WILL win. If his M is in jeopardy, its as much his fault as yours. More his fault though. And b/c this was at work, you both will have h*ll to pay. Sorry. Get a good Labor Lawyer and sue, sue, sue. That is your legal right. I think NoIDidn't is right but I also, no offense, think that you need to take responsibility for your actions. Hire a lawyer but you have to tell them that you willingly had an affair with a MM - your boss. I don't know how that is going to work out. Stay away from MM in general (sexually) and this MM in particular. Go NC and let HR and lawyers handle it from here. Good luck, lighthouse
Guest Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 After read all the replies, I intent to bring out my point. Yes, it's my fault for having an affair with him no matter what reason behind. But, please focus on what's the way he's used to end this relationship. For now, I only need a fair judgment on my career. I did nothing wrong on my job responsibilities. My performance is satisfactory and I always get good comments from colleagues / senior management in the office. I've made a complaint to HR department by telling them the whole story. HR also thinks that he has no right to fire me without any reasonable explanation on the dissatisfactions of my job. Now I have been transferred to other department. Why I let him stay in his personal comfortable zone as senior management level to his division. He should also bear the consequences as he's the one who started the game. I'm also considering to report this incident to global head office. I have seen this happen at a place I used to work, and both of the employees were fired. You are 1/2 of the problem and the company can't reprimand him without doing the same to you. If they did, he could come after you in the same way you went after him. It caused the OW much more embarrassment because the company valued the MM more since he had been there longer and had a more important position. Either way, they were both unemployed and she had a harder time getting a new job than he did.
whichwayisup Posted October 28, 2006 Posted October 28, 2006 And this is why SO many companies have a rule that Bosses and Employees should not date. Let alone married ones...
LittleLady Posted October 29, 2006 Posted October 29, 2006 If you are concerned about your career, I think the old adage applies: Don't Sh-t where you eat. HE almost destroyed your family? You're kidding me, right? You're not the victim!
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Posted October 30, 2006 "Don't sh-t where you eat". Please tell me is it fair I'm the only one entitled to a little retribution?????? Am I the only one making the mistakes??????? I have no say if the company would fire both of us. But why he got well protected and nobody comment he did the wrong thing as well. Do u all know that how many times I tried to end this thing before he took action. Do u all know that everytime I tried to refused his dating what was I treated...... QUOTE=LittleLady;962163]If you are concerned about your career, I think the old adage applies: Don't Sh-t where you eat. HE almost destroyed your family? You're kidding me, right? You're not the victim!
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 "Don't sh-t where you eat". Please tell me is it fair I'm the only one entitled to a little retribution?????? Am I the only one making the mistakes??????? I have no say if the company would fire both of us. But why he got well protected and nobody comment he did the wrong thing as well. Do u all know that how many times I tried to end this thing before he took action. Do u all know that everytime I tried to refused his dating what was I treated...... What do you mean tried to end this thing? Did he force you? Are you saying he raped you? If so, I would certainly go to the police because forcing someone to have sex is definitely illegal. Other than that, you were an equal participant and you knowingly got involved with a married man. What did you think would happen? What I'm reading here is people warning you that if you make this into your own personal revengefest, you could wind up worse off than you are now. It's up to you, but when you get burned don't say you weren't warned. But then again, you did have an affair with a married man so chances are you won't head the warning. I wish you luck.
herenow Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 So what you are saying is that you are hurting and you want to hurt him and his family because you don't want to be the only one to take responsibility for your actions. I don't know if you have kids, but if you do, is this the type of behavior you teach them? I think you should take responsibility for your actions and do what is best for you. Hopefully you will have learned that sleeping with a MM is wrong. No one forced you to have sex with him, you were a willing participant. Having said that if you still think he should pay for his mistake, go for it, but in the end, you will still be in the same situation you are in right now.
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