Worried about being single forever...

[Guest]

I'm always worried about my future and finding a guy that I love who loves me back. I'm 18, never been with a guy, never even kissed a guy. Not that's I'm extremely ugly, I'm just SO shy, and I have no social life. It seems everyone my age is either engaged, in a great relationship, or married. It's like nobody good is going to be left for me. I'm thinking of going to collage just to meet guys, but that's not going to work if I'm so shy and they are already taken. I wouldn't know other ways to meet them. I don't go to bars and clubs because I have no friends and I don't want to go alone. Ahh!! what do I do? What if I never find someone? =(

[funkify]

At 18 most your friends are engaged/married or in a relationship? That is sad. 18 is the beginning of your adult life, where most of us just start to scratch the surface of life. I had my first boyfriend at 18. You should by no means be worried about settling down!

 

In terms of your social life, do you have one friend? Go out somewhere with them. I'm 23 and have only a handful of people I can call my 'friends'. Everyone else are aquaintances. I don't think it's that unusual. As you get older you tend to become more selective about the friends you have, I think.

[Craig]

what do I do? What if I never find someone? =(

Go to college and become independent. Guys like independent women.

 

You're going to change immensely between now (18) and 25 and so are your friends. Nearly all of the 'great' relationships your friends have now, whether they are married or not are going to fail.

 

I'll bet that you change a lot in college and lose a good amount of your shyness.

[magichands]

It's like nobody good is going to be left for me.

Just settle for someone that you don't mind being around. The key to a happy life is having no expectations.

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Oh good grief! When you're in my place (33, divorced and still looking), then you can complain.

 

One piece of advice....NEVER sacrifice ANYTHING for a man that will affect your security, future, health, well-being or sanity. NO man is worth it.

[elijahBailey]

What? you're 18 and you're already disillusioned? Wait till you're in a relationship and you'll wish you never learned how to spell that word. Don't you have any interests? I'm sure you do. Well, then go join the local club or something. This is ridiculous, there's people who'd love to be in your position. Your greatest asset is your youth.

[Madaline]

You should go to college. There are a lot of guys that are single there trust me I know I've been there. I wouldn't worry about being single forever. Your only 18 and a lot can happen. Most likely your friends that are in relatinships or married are probably not going to work or if they do are going to have problems. IMO 18 or younger is just so young to be thinking about settleing down. If it makes your feel any better I didn't get married until I was 23 and when I was your age I felt like I was going to be alone too. Don't worry about it. Have fun.

[dgiirl]

Married at 18?? Where the hell are you living? Sheesh, dont be too envious of your friends, the chances of them getting divorced in 5 years is extremely high.

 

I wouldnt focus too much on relationships right now. In your own words, it seems you are shy and have no social life. Fix that part of your life first, and I'm sure the rest will follow. Give it time. You're 18. You have a good 10-20 years before you can start worrying about being alone forever. Go to college. It will be a great place to meet people, but also a great place for you to learn about yourself. Get a degree so you are not dependent on anyone. Enjoy your independence while you can.

[Ross_K]

I think you've still got hope since you're 18, a lot of people don't have their first sucsess (yes even a kiss), until they 20 or 21.

 

You say it's because of your shyness, well, shyness can be sorted out, with medication and/or therapy. Since you're 18 you may even grow out of it.

 

Have you ever thought of trying online dating?

[Art_Critic]

Oh good grief! When you're in my place (33,

 

Try 43...it gets tougher the older you get..

18.. you have your whole life in front of you.. relax and enjoy some of it

 

I'm beginning to think that I'm gonna die alone.. on the flip side.. the money is nice

Most people have kids to take care of them when they get older..

 

I'm going to have to hire 24 year old hottie blonde nurses to help me go to the bathroom when I get older..hummmmm

 

That is one good thing about growing old alone that I look forward to though

[Ross_K]

I worry about having to be put in an old folks home too.

[Madaline]

I worry about having to be put in an old folks home too.

Yeah now thats something to worry about.

[Art_Critic]

Yeah now thats something to worry about.

 

That is why I save and invest like crazy...

My whole portfolio is geared around this..

 

To be able to afford the 24 year hottie nurses so at least I have something to smile about

[luvtoto]

To be able to afford the 24 year hottie nurses so at least I have something to smile about

I am sure Anna Nicole Smith would help ya out.

 

A_C, you are not going to be single forever. As long as you keep putting yourself out in the dating world...you'll find her.

[Madaline]

That is why I save and invest like crazy...

My whole portfolio is geared around this..

 

To be able to afford the 24 year hottie nurses so at least I have something to smile about

LMAO! Gotta have something to look at.

[Art_Critic]

A_C, you are not going to be single forever. As long as you keep putting yourself out in the dating world...you'll find her.

 

 

I know.. and that is what I'm doing.. putting myself out there..

 

for the last year or so I've been in a hole.. hiding in the mountains on the weekends and at home during the weekdays.

 

Sure there have been GF's since the last love of my life trashed me but none that were stellar..( I think this was by choice and was designed to keep me pining away)

 

I finally stopped pining over that old ex that was toxic and here I am back dating stellar women again..

 

I'm all giddy....

[luvtoto]

I finally stopped pining over that old ex that was toxic and here I am back dating stellar women again..

Well, I've learned you can't rush things. Glad to see you are ready now.

[Malady]

I'm always worried about my future and finding a guy that I love who loves me back. I'm 18, never been with a guy, never even kissed a guy. Not that's I'm extremely ugly, I'm just SO shy, and I have no social life. It seems everyone my age is either engaged, in a great relationship, or married. It's like nobody good is going to be left for me. I'm thinking of going to college just to meet guys, but that's not going to work if I'm so shy and they are already taken. I wouldn't know other ways to meet them. I don't go to bars and clubs because I have no friends and I don't want to go alone. Ahh!! what do I do? What if I never find someone? =(

 

Don't go to bars, Go to college to succeed, find a job, take up a hobby, and try smiling at the next cutie that comes along. You don't necessarily have to go to clubs to meet men. Try a bookstore or music store places where you feel comfortable going alone.

[IpAncA]

Don't go to bars, Go to college to succeed, find a job, take up a hobby, and try smiling at the next cutie that comes along. You don't necessarily have to go to clubs to meet men. Try a bookstore or music store places where you feel comfortable going alone.

That or you can join clubs and that share your own interest. Yeah the bars are probably not the best way to meet guys.

[laguy10]

Personally, my advice would be to find yourself first. Someone made a comment about men liking independent women....I don't think that's necessarily true, I mean men want to be men - the protectors, providers, etc. for their women, so being too independent is a turn-off in some ways. However, knowing who you are is something completely different.

 

If you know you're shy, then use that knowledge to better yourself. In other words, once you know your weakness, you don't have to live with it, try to figure out what's making you shy around men, and take care of it. If a man is very confident in who he is, this will not be a big deal, as well. I have approached many shy girls, and while it's somewhat difficult to get them to talk about themselves, they also open up sooner or later.

 

So, I would conclude with saying that I suggest you stop worrying about what others are doing and about meeting men in general. Find something you like to do, and focus your time on that. When a man sees a woman who is passionate about something in her life, if he's attracted to her, he will try to understand her passion, and there you have the beginning of a fruitful start. Just get to know yourself, start learning what things you like and don't like about men, start keeping a list of qualities you want in a man, etc. The more you do this, the more you'll be ready for when the right guy does come along, and the less likely you will be to get played by guys who look for a woman who is just looking for any guy.