Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 I had my first real relationship at 15, we were in love, lost our virginity, etc. After we broke up I found out my ex had cheated. I was heart broken but got over it. Six months later I went out with someone else but cheated with my ex. I told the new guy what happened and he forgave me because he really liked me. I wasn't as interested as he was, so I broke it off. A couple of months later I went out with his best friend and cheated on him too but never told him (with his friend who I had just gone out with). I was single for about six months then met a really nice guy. We went out for about three years, he was the sweetest guy ever and I totally loved him, but I also managed to cheat on him with two different guys. The first time I kissed a stranger at a nightclub about a year into our relationship. I told my boyfriend and he forgave me. Three years into our relationship my boyfriend told me that he was going overseas for six months and that he wanted us to break up while he was away, but that we'd probably get back together when he returned. My boyfriend didn't want me involved with his trip and this made me feel very rejected, he wanted to do his own thing for once. For the six weeks leading up to his departure I was very sad and had a full-blown affair with my best friend (male) because it made me feel wanted. Near the end of his trip I told him about my affair and he hasn't spoken to me since. It really hurts me to know that he must now hate me. I really wish that we had got back together, he seemed perfect to me. Now I don't even know him. I tried to get over my ruined relationship and a year later starting seeing someone new, who I have been with for about 12 months. Although I am happy and in love again, I have managed to cheat on my new boyfriend with three different guys. In the beginning I cheated on my boyfriend several times with the guy I had the six week affair with (I think I did this because I didn't want to get too close to my new boyfriend in case I got hurt again). After two months I had a one night stand with an old friend who was visiting from overseas. Now just recently I was staying at a friends house, we were really wasted and a guy who was there wouldn't stop hassling me, so I eventually gave in and slept with him. What is going on with me? I wasn't even interested in him! Why do I do this? The weirdest thing is that I don't regret my cheating, it is usually fun and exciting, I just regret that I have hurt other people in the process. Am I completely horrible? I feel like I am being very destructive and need some help. I have only just noticed this pattern of cheating in my life. I haven't told my boyfriend about the cheating and am too scared to, but feel that I should. Please help!
nancyleeh Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 No your not completely horrible so please don't go there but it is good you realize you have a problem. You said Why do I do this? The weirdest thing is that I don't regret my cheating, it is usually fun and exciting, I just regret that I have hurt other people in the process. Fact is that no matter how much fun or exciting it is to cheat you do regret being a cheater even if you say you don't because you know you are hurting other people which means you are also hurting yourself and that is what you need to take a good look at. Cheating hurts both the cheater and the one being cheated on. Take a look at why you want to hurt yourself and that may help you figure out why you cheat and if you can't figure it out then take the next step and get professional help. I don't know you but you sound like a good person, just got mixed up somehow about how to be good to yourself. Best wishes. nancyleeh
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Please help! how old are you? anyway. I think you need to decide what commitment means to you and wether you can remain exclusive to just one man. If you cant remain exclusive, then I suggest you remain sinlge and date in lieu of being in a relationship. Let these men know upfront that you date others and are not ready to be exclusive
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