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Posted
if you don't fart regularly all the methane will build up inside you and then you'll blow up. thats what that whole spontaneous human combustion thing is all about.

 

LOL, you made me laught. Who ever told you that, off course you can hold it. I tend to like hold it or go softly, no need to be rude, I got manners.

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Posted
LOL, you made me laught. Who ever told you that, off course you can hold it. I tend to like hold it or go softly, no need to be rude, I got manners.

 

whoa did you not post at one point that you would smack the hell outta someone who tells you to shut up? manners? Holy smokes would you kill someone who farted near you then? :p :p :p:lmao:

Posted

This is the funniest thread!

 

My hubby doesn't fart much but when he does, he picks his moments...IE standing infront of fan so I get the FULL effect, or in the car. Those are rare moments though but good ones.

It's mostly me who is the trumpet player in this house. And I'm proud of it!

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Posted
This is the funniest thread!

 

My hubby doesn't fart much but when he does, he picks his moments...IE standing infront of fan so I get the FULL effect, or in the car. Those are rare moments though but good ones.

It's mostly me who is the trumpet player in this house. And I'm proud of it!

 

hot steamy shower farts!!! OMG that was done to me one time........no escape! Now I think that is rude. :lmao: I like to do shower farts because you get the reverb going in the shower and you get almost a Jurrassic Park like sound to come out.

Posted

When he gets on my nerves, that's when the "dutch ovens" happen in bed. I totally do it on purpose and he gets SO mad, all I can do is lay in bed and laugh.

 

Actually, afew weeks ago I must have ate something that upset my stomach, I was letting just awful stinks out in bed - SO bad that he moved into the spare bedroom!

Posted
hot steamy shower farts!!! OMG that was done to me one time........no escape! Now I think that is rude. :lmao: I like to do shower farts because you get the reverb going in the shower and you get almost a Jurrassic Park like sound to come out.

 

Yeah those are quite gross...:laugh: One can suffocate in there! :sick:

Posted
whoa did you not post at one point that you would smack the hell outta someone who tells you to shut up? manners? Holy smokes would you kill someone who farted near you then? :p :p :p:lmao:

 

Farting v.s. being in an abusive relationship. Now that's two different things. The purpose in my previous post was to state that I wouldn't ever let abuse come on my relationship and I will fight back when it comes to verbal, emotional or physical abuse, none of that tolerated.

 

With farting, well that's obviosuly embarrassing and plus don't people try making funny comments about it if you do fart, thus you will then tend to hold it.

 

 

Posted
Farting v.s. being in an abusive relationship. Now that's two different things.

Actually, there are similarities. They both involve arseholes. And the key is to get as far from the arsehole as possible.

 

Unless it's yours. Even a butt plug doesn't help. Adequate ventilation is your only hope.

Posted
Actually, there are similarities. They both involve arseholes. And the key is to get as far from the arsehole as possible.

 

Unless it's yours. Even a butt plug doesn't help. Adequate ventilation is your only hope.

 

LOL, got me laughing. So wanna throw up a party, oh and make sure to bring them beers, along with wine!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Posted

I don't fart; I'm incapable. Occassionally I let out a very ladylike toot.

Posted
I don't fart; I'm incapable. Occassionally I let out a very ladylike toot.

Constipation is nothing to be concerned about. Eventually something has got to give - I just hope that the timing isn't too inconvenient.

Posted

Just found this thread and I felt I better "chime" in too. I have to agree with the possibility of vegetarians producing odorless farts... I personally try to hold them until I can safely release in private, but sometimes they just won't wait :o Thankfully they are for the most part odor-free, but not necessarily quiet. Because of the amount of fiber we vegs eat, we tend to have more gas than our meat-eating brothers/sisters.

 

H never, never, never farts in my presence, but I have felt the walls shake when he goes to the bathroom! :lmao:

Posted
Constipation is nothing to be concerned about. Eventually something has got to give - I just hope that the timing isn't too inconvenient.

 

Sometimes I laugh so hard that I fart. I wonder if this is a medical condition.

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Posted
Sometimes I laugh so hard that I fart. I wonder if this is a medical condition.

 

It is a sign of happiness...... I am serious.

 

Dogs nap and fart...... all sedate, calm, and smelly. ppppphhhhhhhooooopphhh.........Dog farts remind me of Haiku.

 

Horses get happy kick up their heels and toot toot toot toot.... out of sheer joy. they really do this..... it just comes out when they laugh too.... :)

 

Farts are the sign of a content individual...... :)

Posted
When he gets on my nerves, that's when the "dutch ovens" happen in bed. I totally do it on purpose and he gets SO mad, all I can do is lay in bed and laugh.

 

Actually, afew weeks ago I must have ate something that upset my stomach, I was letting just awful stinks out in bed - SO bad that he moved into the spare bedroom!

I would divorce you

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Posted
I would divorce you

 

burning 4 revenge actually sounds like it could be the name of someone out for fart revenge or out to give a reciprocal dutch oven out of revenge.

Posted

a4a, I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!

 

My Wife used to try and hide the fact that she even had bowl movements at all. When she finally started farting in front of me it was a growing point in our relationship.

 

Congrats on the toot.

 

I personally have a farting problem. All mine end up sounding like a duck quacking and so they are not taken seriously until the smell kicks in, then I can hold my own with the best of them.

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Posted
a4a, I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!

 

My Wife used to try and hide the fact that she even had bowl movements at all. When she finally started farting in front of me it was a growing point in our relationship.

 

Congrats on the toot.

 

I personally have a farting problem. All mine end up sounding like a duck quacking and so they are not taken seriously until the smell kicks in, then I can hold my own with the best of them.

 

 

I am picturing "AFLACK" coming out of your pants...... oh you should photo shop that into a pic.

 

The first marital or LTR fart is an important one. I hate people that hide that they poop...... like we don't know they do it! shhesh.

Posted
burning 4 revenge actually sounds like it could be the name of someone out for fart revenge or out to give a reciprocal dutch oven out of revenge.

i would withold sex from any woman who subjected me to a dutch oven....permanently

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Posted
i would withold sex from any woman who subjected me to a dutch oven....permanently

 

 

The LS women are about to gather naked in your apt to give you a group dutch oven and try to persuade you to have sex with all of us. :D

 

Wonder how many guys would be willing to be subjected to a group dutch oven in exchange for group sex with multiple women.....

 

damn cold meds.

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