Sheriff Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 I have read through some of your stories, and my heart goes out to anyone who is hurting through a situation that love has thrown at them, especially since I'm hurting along with you. My wife, whom I love dearly and who has given us the two most beautiful children, has not been completely straight with me. She stays at home looking after the kids and so doesn't have a lot of adult contact. She is, however, a party-lover, and as a very physically attractive person she gets a lot of attention from other men. She has always been a big user of the phone and SMS, which I accept as it helps her to keep in touch with her friends. I always get her phone bills and never really look at them, but last month when the bill came through there were over 100 SMS to one number. I casually asked who this was and she told me it was a guy she'd made friends with through the kids' after school activities. Apparently he phones her 4 times a week and they text each other all the time. Looking back through the phone bills I realised (blind little me) that this has been going on for over a year. She says he has taken her out for lunch once, that he never comes to the house, she never goes to his house, they see each other virtually never, they don't go out socialising (she goes out some evenings by herself). I have no evidence of any deeper contact between them, but in the six hours the kids are at school she could be up to almost anything. So now the nagging doubt starts. Has something been going on? Can they just be friends and nothing more? He has a long-standing girlfriend, who is very possessive and is therefore not aware of the contact between them. Also I know she has confided many personal things to him, and that this has definitely been an emotional affair. All the SMS have been erased so although there were thousands of them, I have never seen a single one. I have asked her to stop the contact, and she has refused, saying that he is just a friend, and that you can have friends of the opposite sex without having an affair. I have told her how much this is now hurting me and she says I am being ridiculous. So, to anyone who's listening and who may be interested, I would value your opinion. The only thing I can't do is leave her, as I would lose everything I hold dear, (family, home etc). If she has had an affair then so be it. If she is having an affair then I want it to stop. And to anyone who has the same gut-twisting knot that tears their soul out on a daily basis, then I'm praying for you. If you made it this far then thank-you. Sheriff.
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