luvtoto Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 I am a single mother with two kids. Daughter is 14 and my son is 11. They are fairly independent children and have been left them home alone on many occasions...except overnight. Never considered it until now. Here's what my SO and I have planned for this weekend. Saturday during the day, we are taking the kids shopping. Gonna spend quality time with them all afternoon. Then, when we get back to my house, we are going to stock the fridge and he and I are gonna head to his house which is an hour away. At his house, we will enjoy our privacy if you know what I mean. It's next to impossible to get ANY privacy with my kids around. They are just too nosy and my bed squeaks. Haha! Anyways, my SO caught me off guard tonight by asking me if I would consider leaving my kids home alone overnight. He said when he was young-11, his parents left him home alone all the time. His older sister-14 was home with him, too. He's devoted to my kids already. He's even mentioned buying my daughter a car for when she starts driving (if we work out). He told my son he would get him a BB gun to shoot birds at his house. So, it's not like he's trying to dismiss my kids somehow. He likes the time he spends with them. We are just trying to find a HAPPY MEDIUM. Normally, if I drive home from his house late, it's on the interstate around midnight. Which seems like a big risk for me. He's already gave me a cell phone to use for my hour drive. So....my question is this. Would it be ok to leave my kids home alone for an evening? If I would be home early on Sunday morning? I am really confused about it. What would you do? Are there laws against this? Seriously.
Pyro Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 ISo....my question is this. Would it be ok to leave my kids home alone for an evening? If I would be home early on Sunday morning? I am really confused about it. What would you do? Are there laws against this? Seriously. You knows your kids better than any of us, so what do you think? Do they get along well? My brother and I are 3 years aparts and when we were that age, we were left alone. I am not familiar with the laws, so maybe you should do some research.
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 Check about laws. Where I lived, I think kids had to be 13 or 14 to be left alone. I think I was 14 or 15 when I started babysitting so there may be babysitter age laws where you live that will give you a clue. 11 is definitely too young, though.
Author luvtoto Posted October 26, 2006 Author Posted October 26, 2006 You knows your kids better than any of us, so what do you think? Do they get along well? My brother and I are 3 years aparts and when we were that age, we were left alone. I am not familiar with the laws, so maybe you should do some research. Overnight? My SO seemed like it wasn't that big of a deal. But, he told me to not let him pursuade my own decision. He was just mentioning it. Maybe I am a bit too overprotective. Yes, my kids get along fine. I am sure it would be a quiet evening. My SO just doesn't want me out on the interstate late at night, which makes complete sense.
magichands Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 They can easily survive a week without food.
Pyro Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 Overnight? My SO seemed like it wasn't that big of a deal. But, he told me to not let him pursuade my own decision. He was just mentioning it. Maybe I am a bit too overprotective. Yes, my kids get along fine. I am sure it would be a quiet evening. My SO just doesn't want me out on the interstate late at night, which makes complete sense. My brother and I fought constantly as kids, so it was never overnight. I would think it would be no problem. You say that your kids get along fine. Give it a try.
Art_Critic Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 He's even mentioned buying my daughter a car for when she starts driving (if we work out). He told my son he would get him a BB gun to shoot birds at his house. So, it's not like he's trying to dismiss my kids somehow. He likes the time he spends with them. Is this the guy that 10 days ago was your 2nd date ? How do you find the needy ones... RED FLAG.. In Ga the age a child can be left without the parents is 12 and then it has to be less than 4 hours. Why not call child services and ask them what the laws/rules are in your state ? it is only a phone call and they won't know who you are.. On the side note.. if after 2-3 weeks a man is talking about buying big ticket items for your kids..... RUN.... I hope this guy is not the same Lipless guy from 10 days ago.. You are already calling him your SO ???
whichwayisup Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 I don't know what the laws are in the US, but in Canada I'm pretty sure it's illegal to leave your kids alone overnight, unless they're 16 years old. Have your kids ever been left alone at night, if you go out? If not, maybe consider getting a babysitter or ask your folks, sister/brother, or even one of the kids friends to go have a sleepover at their houses... Maybe it's just me, but that's alot of responsibility to put on a 14 year old, and her being a girl left alone overnight to look after her younger brother... All I know from experience, recently actually - Even leaving 16 year old's alone overnight can be dangerous! (A friend's daughter had some stuff happen to her while she was alone) Don't mean to scare you, but if you DO do this, make sure your kids will be able to get hold of you 24/7, and get a neighbour to check in on them if you can't find a sitter.
Author luvtoto Posted October 26, 2006 Author Posted October 26, 2006 Is this the guy that 10 days ago was your 2nd date ? How do you find the needy ones... RED FLAG.. In Ga the age a child can be left without the parents is 12 and then it has to be less than 4 hours. Why not call child services and ask them what the laws/rules are in your state ? it is only a phone call and they won't know who you are.. On the side note.. if after 2-3 weeks a man is talking about buying big ticket items for your kids..... RUN.... I hope this guy is not the same Lipless guy from 10 days ago.. Yea, we were just hypothetically speaking. He has been single for 34 years. He's just picky. Lots of women throw themselves at him. So, he doesn't strike me as needy per say. I think he's just excited about finally meeting someone like me. haha! You know me, A_C....I WILL dump at the first sign of desperation. Word. He said once to me that he tried E-Harmony. After he was done with his personality profile, he received a confirmation email that *seriously* stated that he was unmatchable and the chances of him meeting "the one" would be 1 in 1,000,000. So, since he's met me, he's been calling me his 'one in a million'. Dang, look at Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill... those two married about five months after they met on tour. Sure there are red flags when getting to know a guy. I respect your advice. Usually there are other things to add to it...like he lives with his mother or has been previously married a few times for a short period.
Author luvtoto Posted October 26, 2006 Author Posted October 26, 2006 I don't know what the laws are in the US, but in Canada I'm pretty sure it's illegal to leave your kids alone overnight, unless they're 16 years old. Have your kids ever been left alone at night, if you go out? If not, maybe consider getting a babysitter or ask your folks, sister/brother, or even one of the kids friends to go have a sleepover at their houses... Maybe it's just me, but that's alot of responsibility to put on a 14 year old, and her being a girl left alone overnight to look after her younger brother... All I know from experience, recently actually - Even leaving 16 year old's alone overnight can be dangerous! (A friend's daughter had some stuff happen to her while she was alone) Don't mean to scare you, but if you DO do this, make sure your kids will be able to get hold of you 24/7, and get a neighbour to check in on them if you can't find a sitter. These are the kind of stories I need to hear. Thanks WWIU.
Art_Critic Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 Usually there are other things to add to it...like he lives with his mother or has been previously married a few times for a short period. Don't forget that he has already given you a cell phone for an hour drive.... Honestly.. it seems to me that he isn't considering your kids here at all... He is trying to come up with boinking time without the kids around and making you believe that he is so caring.. Personally I think what he is trying to do is bad.. bad for you and bad for the kids.. I have dated and even married a woman with kids... yes it is tough to work around but he shouldn't be asking you to dump the kids.. The last girl I just broke up with had 2 kids..Almost all the dates included the kids and when time permitted there was time for stabin in the cabin after they went to bed or literally when I took her to the cabin on the days their dad had them. Instead he should be taking you all out for a good time and if the situation arises then there is the adult time.. You and your kids are a package deal and he needs to respect that.. I like WWIU's advice.. if you go thru with this maybe a neighbor can check up on them.
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 I agree. no matter how much each of u would like to have some quiet time it is important that the safety of the kids come first. there are lots of other options u can explore. do either of u have friends or family where the kids can stay? is it necessary to have to entire time alone together - u will have some quiet time when they go to bed. as for the noise of the creaky bed, have them wear ear plus when the go to sleep! lol. or pitch a tent in the back yard and pretend you are 'camping' - wink. or, it sounds like u want to make this special so have everyone stay at a nice hotel with separate rooms with a linking door...lots of options. good luck!
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