inde4544 Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 My ex dumped me and we have been going back and forth for months.... I mean literally like 6 months. THis was my 1st love and I was very foolish about the situation. I just have so much trouble walking away but now I have to. I can no longer put myself through this. She has consistently contacted me after I tell her not to even though she has a bf. Finally I put my foot down and now she is trying to flaunt it in my face saying how she is so happy we are not together and she is happy with him, how I tried to tear her down and all kinds of other rude and mean things. I told her she had some serious issues and told her thats fine and I am glad this relationship did not progress further. I feel terrible now. I was with this girl for 2 years and she was the first person I really put stock into. She is 25 and im 24 I thought we would have a life together. I just need some advice on how to get by this and put an end to everything. I did truly love her and feel like I cant get myself past this. I have tried time and time again. Thanks. Am I emotionally damaged or was I involved with a damage case. I dont get it she cheated and dumped me then ceases to leave me alone and now that I put my foot down she tries to flaunt everything in my face when she knows I feel crappy.
D-Lish Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Wow, she sounds pretty mean. It's natural to still have feelings for someone- even when they treat u badly. So, no- you're not damaged for having feelings over this. I think you'd have to question yourself if you wanted to be with a person like this though. You've put your foot down and told her to leave you alone- but she refuses to. That's someone with issues, and you're better off without her. She obviously wants to inflict pain on you for some reason. Change your phone number if you have to! You will get over this...it will take time. D
Author inde4544 Posted October 26, 2006 Author Posted October 26, 2006 yeah thanks D- Lish I appreciate it. I just feel like crap. I told her how everything she did made me feel bad and told her I cant ever look at her the same way and she tred to say I was trying to tear her down and all this stuff. This is what makes me feel bad. She also said she would remember nothing from our relationship. I put a lot of time in hoping to make her feel good and it hurts to hear things like this. I just need to get over it but I haven't been through this before so I am having a hard time.....
D-Lish Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 People say things they don't mean when they are angry. I wouldn't take it to heart. I think she probably said what she said with the intention of hurting you... not because she meant she won't remember you....cuz that's BS. She will. The fact that she pesters you is indicative of the fact she hasn't forgotten you....nor can she. right? Yep, you'll get over this eventually. I have had a lot of loves go by in my life...and the very first one that broke my heart is a distant memory. I still remember him though. It's how you deal with this situation that will contribute to your future ones. You can either internalize this hurt and put a wall up around yourself with your future partners.... or you can deal with the grief, realize that all women will not treat you badly or hurt you the way this one did. You might fall in love many times in your life- you will probably break someone elses heart too down the road. But don't measure all women or all relationships by this one. Cut this girl loose though- she's purposely trying to hurt you because of her own insecurities and issues. Just know that you were a good boyfriend to her and those qualities will not be wasted on the right girl. This cruel messed up girl was obviously not the right one. Stop listening to what she's saying and believe in yourself. Dee
Kamille Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 Here here Dee, your advice is always so insightful. Inde, I was 24 when I had my first heartbreak and it was the hardest. You will get through this. And you will learn a lot about yourself in the process. all the best! K
Author inde4544 Posted October 26, 2006 Author Posted October 26, 2006 Thank you guys so much. I am sure you both know how helpful this board can be. I will use this situation to mold me into a better person. I hope in time I will find the right person for me but if not I will be happy with myself. But the hopeless romantic inside always gets the best of me hahaha. I would not have it any other way though. Thanks again.
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