Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 heres the deal, i met this incredible, beautiful, wonderful girl, started seeing her, and last week(beginning of the week) something happened. at the beginning, i couldnt have been happier, we had so much in common, hung out every day for like 2 weeks straight once even(every day once work was done), life was great. all of a sudden though, she changed, and not for the better. we had plans to hang out one night, she blew me off. the only answer i got for this is she was just too frustraited to talk with anyone, she didnt even go home, just went to a coffee shop, sat and studied. i didnt get a phone call, nothing, but i let that slide hearing she had a really rough day at work. from this point on, ive only seen her a few times(maybe 2-3 at the most). she seems to be stressed out about everything, and when i talk about how shes changed or why, she gets mad, almost to the point where i just want to walk away. she wouldnt answer my calls or talk to me about this in person, just over the computer. i believe she has way too much stress in her life, but here is what i got out of her when i did talk to her(on the computer, i still havnt been able to talk to her over the phone). she basically says she hates being in a relationship, she feels trapped and held down. now, i have not pressured her into anything(i know this because she told me, but she still feels this way), every time we go out, i get the "thank you so much, i had so much fun" ended with a hug and a kiss when i leave. its like she is two completely different people from when im with her and when im not with her, she says she really enjoys hanging out with me, but its going to take her a while to get adjusted to being in a relationship, and that she is always the one who screws them up, and she believes she will be the end of this one. she has been in a really bad, controlling relationship recently, where the dick head(sorry for the language) just tried to run her life. he was trying to make her sell her truck and car and dirtbike(which is a big part of her life), to buy a car he liked, and he wouldnt let her even go home, he wss trying to make her switch jobs even, she HAD to stay at his house, she went like a month without seeing her family. she was not even allowed to go out with her mom for dinner. as a matter of fact, this guy is still stalking her basically, he waits for her outside her work, just to watch her get inside her car and drive away, shes got a restraining order on him even, but he still does this. well i hadnt seen or talked(on the phone) to her in a week or so, and i got a text message on my phone late one night from her saying "oh this is no good. i miss you. when we going to hang out?" which really makes me think she does want something now normally, i would just walk away, but ive had more fun with her than i have had in the last couple years, so i dont want to give up so easily. do you all think there is a good chance, that we can make this work? i honestly hope i can tough it out, i realise it is going to take some time, but does anyone have any advice? i dont want to bring up any of the issues anymore that will make her more stressed out and angry, so im thinking if i just drop it, eventually, she will talk to me about it? can anyone offer any advice how i can deal with this until things get back more normal(ish) or things i can do to help the situation. ive told her that i do care for her, and that im always willing to listen, so she knows that, but weather or not she is willing to talk with me about her problems, i dont know. (sorry my punctuation isnt very good, im just trying to get this off my chest, its been eating at me for a while) thanks for the help
DanielMadr Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 and when i talk about how shes changed or why, she gets mad, almost to the point where i just want to walk away. well....walk away. Forget her. Believe me. You are already in firend zone(more probably just to make him jealous) and she is freak. Can you imagine doing/telling things to someone like she did/told to you? NO? Then walk away or you are spineless wuss and she feels it, thats why she wont respect you - love you. Too harsh? I dont mean to insult you. I know you are not spineless wuss...but you was clouded by love. Dont be. RUN Forrest RUN
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 well, im going to have to face her and deal with some of it either way, ive got a bunch of **** still at her place that ive gotta get back. ill have a good long talk, and if i don't like her answers, see you later
Hitman10000 Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 heres the deal, i met this incredible, beautiful, wonderful girl, started seeing her, and last week(beginning of the week) something happened. at the beginning, i couldnt have been happier, we had so much in common, hung out every day for like 2 weeks straight once even(every day once work was done), That is a big mistake. I didn't need to read the rest to know where the rest of your story was heading. Stop talking to her now, pull back seriously.
mental_traveller Posted October 27, 2006 Posted October 27, 2006 Why don't you forget about having a relationship, and instead just screw her with no strings attached. Tell her you don't want any commitment and just want to hang out and have fun from time to time. Oh and stop being so clingy.
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