melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I am in a baaaad place folks. Hoping regurgitating it out here will help. Last thursday, my little puppy who I loved so much died. And, it was my fault. She was born very sick and I paid over 2 grand to get her heart surgery. Thursday I was leaving the property and she got under my car wheel and was crushed to death. That nearly broke my heart. Then, on fri, my SO, who I thought was my life partner, signed on to our shared business acct and saw 3 checks written to my water dept, my cell phone co and cable co. I was so shocked and then realized " Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I must of written my household checks out of the wrong checkbook. NOTE : Both checkbooks look exactly alike, same bank, same covers, same address, so I feel it was not an exactly IMPOSSIBLE mistake to make. Well, HE did. He called it unforgivable, called me an " embezzler" and rode off on his motorcycle. I was preparing to leave, had my stuff in the car ( I was not going to be called a thief for an honest mistake, figured he'd calm down) when he rode back in, started screaming at me and then grabbed me and started bashing me against my car. My knee was all swollen and bruised and he was banging my head into the car ( leaving 2 visible dents) when his brother finally saw and pulled him off of me. Now in 48 hrs, I've lost my dear dog, my relationship and my business and I've been physically abused by somone I loved with all of my heart. Right now, eating and breathing are an effort. I know there's no " solving this", but there it is, please help me be strong and get through this time........
a4a Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I am sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. As for the loss of this man I think a celebration is more in order. As for the loss of your business, if you are a legal owner make him buy you out or you buy him out.
luvtoto Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 If I were you, I would not hesitate to press charges and get a restraining order. Stick up for yourself!!! Don't allow this man to treat you this way. Show the same amount of concern for your own life, as you have shown for your puppies lost life.
Author melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Thanks a4a, I've always appreciated your posts. Your right on the first 2 counts. Unfortunatley, the business is in it's fledgling stages, I bought a semi truck on my credit so that he could pull fuel. ( it's relativley lucrative, how gas gets to gas stations) but it was such a partnnership thing : I was the business money person, he can drive tanker trucks. I'm thinking of just selling the truck now to pay off my loan. The dog, I'm just going to have to go through the grieving stages I guess. I don't know anyone in this small rural town, when I moved here 2 yrs ago with my last BF of 5 yrs, we bought the house together. Then a month later he split. I've just been treading water ever since. When I met A and we fell in love and started a biz, I thought I was finally making a life for myself. Now, I just want to sell my house, sell the truck and start over somewhere else. I tried to be happy here, I really did, but nothing seemed to work out, and even this optimist thinks it's time to "call in the dogs, and piss on the fire"
JackJack Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I'm sorry for your loss as well. Just out of curiosty, has your b/f ever been abusive to you before? Or was this the first time? It matters not really, becasue you are better off without him, but I wasn't sure if this behavior came out of no where or what.
luvtoto Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I'm sorry for your loss as well. Just out of curiosty, has your b/f ever been abusive to you before? Or was this the first time? It matters not really, becasue you are better off without him, but I wasn't sure if this behavior came out of no where or what. I know this question wasn't directed at me, but if the abuse has gotten so bad that he made dents in his car with her body then I would assume that he has had a history of abuse with her.
a4a Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 holy moley........ sell that truck and do not let him drive it for one more second. two consider pressing charges. really consider it. Seeing as how you paid for a truck for him to drive and you wrote a check from a joint business acct mistake or not, he had no right to do what he did to you. Can you say asshawl boys and girls..... loser......
JackJack Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I know this question wasn't directed at me, but if the abuse has gotten so bad that he made dents in his car with her body then I would assume that he has had a history of abuse with her. Probably so, I would assume so as well. I just didn't see where she stated he did this type of thing AGAIN. of course I don't remember her posts from before either so maybe it has happend before.
Author melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Thanks guys, I'm feeling better just because i'm not holding it all inside, isolating myself. I heard he had been abusive with his ex wife, but everyone confirmed she was a cheating whacko who stole from him and sued his family on bogus charges, so I always thought " well everyone has a breaking point" (hmmm, thinking now the fact that SHE stole from him, thats why he assumed I was doing the same) Really, I think Point 1 in embezzling would be to A) steal somone ELSES money. and B) don't do it over 400 bucks and leave an online banking trail like Check 1121- City of Crystal river water dept. JEEZ !!!!! But no, he was always very gentlemanly with me, this was as shocking to me as running over my own dog. I'm not pressing charges because the damn truck is still on his property and I have a 20k loan, and don't know how to drive the damn thing. I put him in jail, his family bonds him out, my truck is toast and restraining orders have never been great at stopping bulletts.
Author melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Thanks guys, I'm feeling better just because i'm not holding it all inside, isolating myself. I heard he had been abusive with his ex wife, but everyone confirmed she was a cheating whacko who stole from him and sued his family on bogus charges, so I always thought " well everyone has a breaking point" (hmmm, thinking now the fact that SHE stole from him, thats why he assumed I was doing the same) Really, I think Point 1 in embezzling would be to A) steal somone ELSES money. and B) don't do it over 400 bucks and leave an online banking trail like Check 1121- City of Crystal river water dept. JEEZ !!!!! But no, he was always very gentlemanly with me, this was as shocking to me as running over my own dog. I'm not pressing charges because the damn truck is still on his property and I have a 20k loan, and don't know how to drive the damn thing. I put him in jail, his family bonds him out, my truck is toast and restraining orders have never been great at stopping bullets.
a4a Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 well you got to figure out how to get that damn truck away from him...... is it in your name only?
JackJack Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 hmmm, thinking now the fact that SHE stole from him, thats why he assumed I was doing the same) Bingo, because his ex stole from him was his "trigger" when he thought you were too, so that inturn, probably set the stage for him to lose it and be abusive. I think you starting over some place else might be best. Hope all works out for you.
Author melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 yeah, I own it, but can't drive it. I guess.....hire a truck driver and go in with a police escort ? The guy I bought it from will sell it for me on consignment, now I just need to get it of the property and an hour south.
a4a Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Call the man you bought it from ASAP he will have a driver for you in no time. Man see this is sad....... so sorry. Don't lose your cool and stay calm. After this is all over you can let off some real steam. I think you will have to call the sheriff to get an escort..... not sure. dag...... nobody has any reason to do what he did. He is one screwed up individual and you need to put some miles between you. I would consider a restraining order and shut down any $ accts. you have with him ASAP. Do not wait around to do this...... act now, and stay calm, cool, and collected.
luvtoto Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Whenever I hear of any woman getting abused, I GET ANGRY. Sooo, your honest mistake was so called "unforgivable" in his eyes. Yet, him screaming at you and then grabbing you and bashing your head into the car is probably OK behavior in his eyes, I am figuring. This SO of yours is a loser. I can't stand men like that.
Author melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Bless you all ! I havn't eaten in 5 days and now at least I'm drinking one of those old people nutritional shakes. A4a : yeah, i was here with my ex 15 years ago and the police will escort you. Finally doing something preventive, not waiting for another dead chick. I'm glad you have no knowledge of this, I can tell you would never put up with this sh*t for a minute !! Luvto : thanks for being pissed for me ! I am still in that stage of schock and denial, I'm sure the anger will come and it WILL FEEL GOOD. jack : thanks for your comforting words, I too think there's nothing for me here but dead end jobs and more drunken rednecks. So, I'm getting nutrition and feeling a tad stronger. Accts are closed and at least I know I CAN sell it in Tampa at the dealership instead of putting an ad in the paper and figuring where to park it. My loan is with my bank, so the dealer won't come get it, but I will start calling in favors and find somone to. Right now, Its one foot in front of the other and do what you need to do.
luvtoto Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I heard he had been abusive with his ex wife, but everyone confirmed she was a cheating whacko who stole from him and sued his family on bogus charges, so I always thought " well everyone has a breaking point" (hmmm, thinking now the fact that SHE stole from him, thats why he assumed I was doing the same) There is no excuse for being abused like that. I don't care if the man's x-wife cheated on him with his bestfriend. Please don't justify or rationalize his behavior. By the way, there are always two sides to every story. By the time you are all done with this situation you have with him...his family will probably view you the same way as they currently view his x-wife. Don't you worry...I will be pissed enough for the both of us! Ha!
SoCalCatman72 Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I agree with luvtoto, there's no excuse for physical violence except self defense against a clear and present danger. We all have triggers, it's what we do after the trigger has been tripped that matters. This guy has no right to beat up on you, please consider filing a police report, at least then it will be on record if he tries to hurt you again, especially since you will be taking the truck back.
quankanne Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 My loan is with my bank, so the dealer won't come get it, but I will start calling in favors and find somone to. check with the loan officer at the bank to see what options you have available to retrieving the truck, also call the local sheriff/police department about what to do, and file an abuse complaint against the guy when you do talk to the cops. Because what he did was so, so wrong ... am sorry to hear about your little dog – I inherited one last year and can't imagine loving some*one* more than I do him. hugs, quank
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Posted October 26, 2006 Now, I just want to sell my house, sell the truck and start over somewhere else. I tried to be happy here, I really did, but nothing seemed to work out, and even this optimist thinks it's time to "call in the dogs, and piss on the fire" Sounds like an excellent plan. Sometimes you and a town just aren't meant to be together. Last place I lived I kept running into good jobs that would turn real bad. That never happened before and hasn't happened since I've moved. So ditch that jerk and the town and don't look back.
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