aljeca Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 OH MAN. THIS SUCKS. lol now that I have stated the obvious... I started dating my boyfriend 8 months ago. Before that, we were fairly good friends for 4 years. As friends, we had decided that we were going to move out together as roommates. When we started dating, he asked if I still wanted to go ahead and move out... I figured, as roommates sure... So 3 months later we had signed a lease and were moving into our house.... Clearly he had thought we were moving out as a couple. so here I am... we've only been living together 5 months (dating for 8 as I said) we have this townhouse with our one bedroom (aka not as roommates) and all our nice furniture and stuff. The thing is... I feel SO SELFISH for saying this... I never really wanted to get this serious. and this is SERIOUS for him... as in, i can't decide to go out with my friends spontaneously because he sees it as ditching him... i can't stay out late at night (like go clubbing til 2 like i used to) bc he doesn't see it as appropriate behaviour for someone's girlfriend.. I can't hang out with my guy friends one-on-one b/c again, he doesn't see it as appropriate... I don't have my own car and he doesn't want me to go on the bus cuz it "isn't safe" so i never go anywhere by myself, he drives me everywhere (Which yes is nice but i feel like i have no independence). The worst part is I definitely do not see myself marrying him. I really see him as just a friend... like we were before... i want to go back to that. I feel so guilty to break up with him though as he has been paying all groceries and insurance and I wouldn't want to leave him with all the house bills... and my name is on the lease (so is his). our lease is up in June... it sucks... I don't know what to do... I have tried breaking up with him 2 or 3 times now. (mind you all in fights..) this is what happens: we start fighting over something stupid (half the time i don't see it coming... like i tell him i'm going out for drinks with my girlfriends after we went to the casino and he got mad... ?) then i say I want to break up for the sake of our friendship from before, then he breaks down and CRIES and CRIES and says i'm the greatest thing to ever happen to him and that since we're here, we might as well work on it and stay together??!! And then when he calms down he says "is that what you really want" and i get all guilty and say i guess we can work on it.... But I really think it should end... I could easily move back home with my parents (I'm 22 and still full time student... can't really afford to liveout anyway) it's just the telling him then leaving part, don't know how i'd get to it... Really it would be good if i could break up and stay here... til june as a roommate cuz like i said, i love him and all... PLATONICALLY.......... F*** this sucks... Like some other girl said in here... I do not see him sexually at all. kissing him feels like lying... PLEASE HELP ANY ADVICE IS MUCH APPRECIATED!
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