mlchris2 Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I have my good days and my bad days. The good days are where I realize my EW really doesnt love about me(cause if she did, I wouldnt be divorced), I find myself looking at what she's turned into and end up telling myself..."she's not worth it, you can do much better? Then I have my bad days... where I regret everything I've done during the seperation that probably drove her to where she is at now, wondering what else I could do, how much I do really love her..... what the hell??? Is this normal? anything I can do other than the normal crap? will this ever pass?
amaysngrace Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I think it's normal to analyze the relationship. And it's part of healthy growth and healing. I'm not sure of the specifics of why your marriage went south, but you seeing where you went wrong will help you in future relationships. But you really should accept the fact that it's over. You are divorced. And as much as you may love her, it wasn't enough to keep her.
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 hello m and c [2], well, i am not sure how long u have been suffering like this but i think if u stepped back and realize how truly fortunate you are. i was in a similar situation as u were many years ago. i had met this guy and he seemed nice but he was shifty, always sneaking behind his wife to smoke the weed - very reserved but in a spooky kinda way - something about his eyes sort of told ya he could go either way...i used to play hockey with him [did u know u can tell alot about a persons personality by the way they play sports] well, he used to shoot the puck all the time - he liked to score i guess - i prefer the assist. in fact, i did assist him right into the welcoming arms of my gf at the time [spooky event #4456 - i am grumpy at C during the move because she is giving off strange vibes, and guess who was suppose to show up to help her and I move in my home that day, but didn't and dropped off the face of the earth like a pinecone that dayu - yup M. so, that would have met that even before i gave up my home - this just keeps getting better and better - anyhoooo, this male friend that i work with walks by me like he has a trophy of mine every day and i shake my head at how scared cheaters get without even knowing it. u know the best way to get over these messy situations is to close your eyes and picture these people as u thought u knew them - them as they really are - conflicting realities right? so, both images cancel themselves out. and they become ghosts in the machine. when i think about gates and apples blossom i realize yup they are perfect for each other. happyanniversayhaircutcrosseyes [said lovingly].
Confuggled_one Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I have my good days and my bad days. The good days are where I realize my EW really doesnt love about me(cause if she did, I wouldnt be divorced), I find myself looking at what she's turned into and end up telling myself..."she's not worth it, you can do much better? Then I have my bad days... where I regret everything I've done during the seperation that probably drove her to where she is at now, wondering what else I could do, how much I do really love her..... what the hell??? Is this normal? anything I can do other than the normal crap? will this ever pass? Ya, it's normal. you shouldnt feel so pressured about things cause that's what the healing process is all about. sometimes when you have a bad day you do imagine the good things that happened in a relationship and you tend to forget. focus on the bad things, remember what they did to you... you love em but if they loved you back they wouldnt be makin you feel this way right? focus on a hobby, go work out.. eat icecream. those things make you feel good - Confuggled
Author mlchris2 Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 amaysngrace, I'm trying. Guest and Confuggled, I try just that after I think about the good times, I close my eyes, tell myself "if she loved me, I wouldnt be in this mess" and then I compare the the person I knew for so long to the person she is today and even though I love her, she'd have to perform a 180 for me to want to be with her again. I am trying to be kewl with our situation, mostly for the kids sake and maybe one day we will be good friends and hang out, etc. When I start thinking about what she did to me and how she is todya.... I get pissed and tend to take things out on her, which doesnt help me any. Well enough ranting.... Just wanted to find out if this was normal and part of the healing process.
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