Guest Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 I have to say it, being the other women sucks. Its hard to think of myself sharing a man with another women and here I am doing it. This man is married, but not happily married. His wife keeps telling him she is going to leave, and that she isn't happy either, but hasn't. I think she is playing a game with him, she does not know about me. To be honest I don't want her to know about me. I feel that way because I don't want to be the reason they break up. I would rather feel it wasn't my fault. Sounds stupid, I know. Today I was able to see this man who I have grown to care alot about, but I felt at a distant with him. I told him I just didn't know were his feelings are for me, but that I have grown to care alot, and enough to say the I Love You words. I told him when we made love on Friday, I wanted to tell him so bad, but I didn't. I really didn't think I would fall for someone so fast in a short period of time (2months), I can admit I was very vulnerable, see my husband left me and moved with his mother. I know, a Jerry Springer Show, especialy when I tell you this man use to be my ex boyfriend right before me and my husband got together. I am afraid it might change every thing. I told him I just don't want to be the skeleton in his closet. I feel I am worth more then this. I even said I didn't know if I was his girlfriend or not. His response was he cant answer that. I guess I am just the friend with benefits... I have a feeling that what I said to him well change ever thing for the worse. He did say he had a hard leaving me. I don't know what to do or say. I don't know if I should ignore him, talk to him, excuse myself for what I said, maybe suggest that I was just emotional today and that he got the best of my feelings. I just don't know. what a mess I got myself into.. If there is any suggestions or support anyone can give please inform me, I am waiting to hear someone else's point of view.
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 They only tell you what you want to hear. Who does he wake up with each morning? I have been in this for 4 years and still listen to the BS.. Thats my choice, someday I will be strong and call him on it.. Till than I just "wait" till he has time for me. Pitiful don't ya think????????
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I have to say it, being the other women sucks. Its hard to think of myself sharing a man with another women and here I am doing it. This man is married, but not happily married. His wife keeps telling him she is going to leave, and that she isn't happy either, but hasn't. I think she is playing a game with him, she does not know about me. To be honest I don't want her to know about me. I feel that way because I don't want to be the reason they break up. I would rather feel it wasn't my fault. Sounds stupid, I know. Today I was able to see this man who I have grown to care alot about, but I felt at a distant with him. I told him I just didn't know were his feelings are for me, but that I have grown to care alot, and enough to say the I Love You words. I told him when we made love on Friday, I wanted to tell him so bad, but I didn't. I really didn't think I would fall for someone so fast in a short period of time (2months), I can admit I was very vulnerable, see my husband left me and moved with his mother. I know, a Jerry Springer Show, especialy when I tell you this man use to be my ex boyfriend right before me and my husband got together. I am afraid it might change every thing. I told him I just don't want to be the skeleton in his closet. I feel I am worth more then this. I even said I didn't know if I was his girlfriend or not. His response was he cant answer that. I guess I am just the friend with benefits... I have a feeling that what I said to him well change ever thing for the worse. He did say he had a hard leaving me. I don't know what to do or say. I don't know if I should ignore him, talk to him, excuse myself for what I said, maybe suggest that I was just emotional today and that he got the best of my feelings. I just don't know. what a mess I got myself into.. If there is any suggestions or support anyone can give please inform me, I am waiting to hear someone else's point of view. Just because he tells you about an unhappy marriage doesn't mean that he is telling the truth. The fact is, he is still going home to his wife and she is still there. He is lying to both of you. My point of view (and yes you asked) is that it is wrong to have an affair. Wrong for the H and wrong for the OW. Every moment he spends with you is one that he should be at home deciding what to do about his marriage. You are just as responsible as he is for the hurt you will cause yourself , his wife and the MM. Get out before you do any more damage!
Joelle Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I have to say it, being the other women sucks. Its hard to think of myself sharing a man with another women and here I am doing it. This man is married, but not happily married. His wife keeps telling him she is going to leave, and that she isn't happy either, but hasn't. I think she is playing a game with him, she does not know about me. To be honest I don't want her to know about me. I feel that way because I don't want to be the reason they break up. I would rather feel it wasn't my fault. Sounds stupid, I know. Today I was able to see this man who I have grown to care alot about, but I felt at a distant with him. I told him I just didn't know were his feelings are for me, but that I have grown to care alot, and enough to say the I Love You words. I told him when we made love on Friday, I wanted to tell him so bad, but I didn't. I really didn't think I would fall for someone so fast in a short period of time (2months), I can admit I was very vulnerable, see my husband left me and moved with his mother. I know, a Jerry Springer Show, especialy when I tell you this man use to be my ex boyfriend right before me and my husband got together. I am afraid it might change every thing. I told him I just don't want to be the skeleton in his closet. I feel I am worth more then this. I even said I didn't know if I was his girlfriend or not. His response was he cant answer that. I guess I am just the friend with benefits... I have a feeling that what I said to him well change ever thing for the worse. He did say he had a hard leaving me. I don't know what to do or say. I don't know if I should ignore him, talk to him, excuse myself for what I said, maybe suggest that I was just emotional today and that he got the best of my feelings. I just don't know. what a mess I got myself into.. If there is any suggestions or support anyone can give please inform me, I am waiting to hear someone else's point of view. Be careful. You are emotionally vunerable right now. I don't think you're clear-minded enough to assess the situation and yourself. Do you have access to counseling? Maybe a good counselor will help you sort out your situation, and help you decide what's best for you.
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Be careful. You are emotionally vunerable right now. I don't think you're clear-minded enough to assess the situation and yourself. Do you have access to counseling? Maybe a good counselor will help you sort out your situation, and help you decide what's best for you. I have been talking to therapist, but have a hard time telling her all the details about the married man, we mainly talk about my marriage and a lot is more focused on finding myself. I know that when it came to the married man my motive was not to get attached just to be a friend from the past catching up to old times. But as each day passed, he would call me or I would call him, before you know it we were having lunch dates together, walking thru the park holding hands, kissing. We laughed a lot, talked a lot. And then one day I said I had to have him. Everything felt right, and nice. We have so much in common, its weird. I feel a connection, but I really don't know what to do. I told him I felt like faith has brought him to me at time when I needed someone the most. He responded, "I felt like it was destiny". I was like isn't that the same as faith, He agreed it was. So if two people felt very similar about the situation, then what are those two suppose to do. My only answer was to react, responded.
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 I have been talking to therapist, but have a hard time telling her all the details about the married man, we mainly talk about my marriage and a lot is more focused on finding myself. I know that when it came to the married man my motive was not to get attached just to be a friend from the past catching up to old times. But as each day passed, he would call me or I would call him, before you know it we were having lunch dates together, walking thru the park holding hands, kissing. We laughed a lot, talked a lot. And then one day I said I had to have him. Everything felt right, and nice. We have so much in common, its weird. I feel a connection, but I really don't know what to do. I told him I felt like faith has brought him to me at time when I needed someone the most. He responded, "I felt like it was destiny". I was like isn't that the same as faith, He agreed it was. So if two people felt very similar about the situation, then what are those two suppose to do. My only answer was to react, responded. " I know, a Jerry Springer Show, especially when I tell you this man use to be my ex boyfriend right before me and my husband got together. I am afraid it might change every thing. I told him I just don't want to be the skeleton in his closet." TAKE A LOOK AT EVERYONE IN THIS WHOLE LAUGHING MESS - THERE IS ONLY ONE PRESON THAT HAS THE LINK TO ALL - GUESS WHO! AMAZING! YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE WATCHING THE NEWS AND THR REPORTER SHOWS UP ON THE SCENE OF A HORRIBLE CRIME AND STARTS INTERVIEWING THE PEOPLE WHO WITNESSED AND PARTICIPATED AND THEY ALWAYS ALL SAY "GEEE, NEVER THOUGHT STUFF LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN OUR LITTLE TOWN OF VANIER' I REALLY HAVE TO TURN OTHERS ON TO THIS SOAP OPERA...HEY, CAN I BUY THE MOVIE RIGHTS OFF ALL YOU FOLKS?
bo123 Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 If you ask many of the OW who have are in the process of letting the MM go will tell you that A is bad for everyone. It does not work out for anyone. He is lying to both of you. I know first hand how you feel. We're for you, you have shoulders to cry on. Please let him go, I know easier said than done. I have a child from the A with the MM. He told his W and now he's trying to save his M, he has cut off all communication. I don't know how he live with himself. I'm seeing the true color of this MM. I hope their marrige can survive his EA. Please be loving towards yourself...it helps to go for a walk or run when you're feeling down.
Recommended Posts