Mythical Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 I have a question about my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I've posted about him a couple times. Again he is a macho,thug confident, gets everything wants kinda guy...but is this true? Thats what everyone's view is on him but im not too sure if this is mine. But anywase, say he is talking about a past experiecne, social, party, birthday, school somtime in the past, he will mention some girl that was hitting on him. Even about a supper he was at or something. He even says it about now, like this girl was hitting on him, smiling at him etc. He is defiently extremely good looking and I know girls do like him and are attracted to him very easily, but if hes useto it why does he feel he has to tell me? Its not that i don't give him the attention I always do. i don't go out of my way to say this guy was flirting with me, checking me out etc. I know he doesn't do anything about it or nothing like that but why does he tell me this if it is true or not? Why does he go out of his way to mention these if in the past or present?
SmoochieFace Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 I have a question about my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I've posted about him a couple times. Again he is a macho,thug confident, gets everything wants kinda guy...but is this true? Thats what everyone's view is on him but im not too sure if this is mine. But anywase, say he is talking about a past experiecne, social, party, birthday, school somtime in the past, he will mention some girl that was hitting on him. Even about a supper he was at or something. He even says it about now, like this girl was hitting on him, smiling at him etc. He is defiently extremely good looking and I know girls do like him and are attracted to him very easily, but if hes useto it why does he feel he has to tell me? Its not that i don't give him the attention I always do. i don't go out of my way to say this guy was flirting with me, checking me out etc. I know he doesn't do anything about it or nothing like that but why does he tell me this if it is true or not? Why does he go out of his way to mention these if in the past or present? Two words: Huge Ego.
Author Mythical Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 Two words: Huge Ego. lol yea I knew that
SmoochieFace Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 lol yea I knew that So what do you want to know? Do you want to know why he has such a huge ego?
KittenMoon Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Why not just say, "I love you and I know you're attractive to other women, but it hurts my feelings when you bring it up."
Author Mythical Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 So what do you want to know? Do you want to know why he has such a huge ego? But is it just that he has a big ego? Or is he competeing with me? Secretly insecure? Wanting more attention? Wanting me to think im special I have him? Wanting to show me he can have other girls?
SmoochieFace Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 1. But is it just that he has a big ego? 2. Or is he competeing with me? 3. Secretly insecure? 4. Wanting more attention? 5. Wanting me to think im special I have him? 6. Wanting to show me he can have other girls? I'd vote for numbers 1, 3, and 6. 1. That's the most obvious one. He has that big ego because other people allow him to have it. You are letting him have it by allowing him to 'brag' about his former conquests and you aren't keeping it in check so he will continue to do it. 3. Genuinely secure people do not need to 'put on airs' like he's doing. He sounds like he is either convincing himself that he's 'great' and/or he's looking for some sort of validation from you - which could allow number 4 to come into play. 6. Definitely. Perhaps he is trying to make YOU insecure by doing that. Sometimes insecure people will attempt to make others around them insecure... sorta like that 'misery loves company' thingy. JMO, of course. YMMV.
Author Mythical Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 Why not just say, "I love you and I know you're attractive to other women, but it hurts my feelings when you bring it up." It doesn't actually really hurt my feelings at all, just wondering why he has to do it and I don't. Maybe hes reasuring himself?
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Its my belief that there are truly confident people. but they keep there bragging in check. They know they have "presence" in a room and they use it when need be, but dont over do it. Then there are people who come across confident but in an arrogant kind of way. They brag alot, always state there opinion, are hard to reason with, etc... Those type of people, I feel, are insecure on the inside about something. So they make the outside get alot of attention to compensate something missing on the inside. They need to be the center of attention, they need to out do someone elses story, they need to always tell you what happened to them. And in your case they need to let it be known that women are attracted to them where ever they go. These type of people come accross fake to me. I think I have a good sense in distingushing a bull****ter and a genuine confident person. Case in point. My wifes exOM, prior to them starting there affair, would always brag about women wanting him, would brag about all the sex he gets from his wife, that he would get nooners all the time. Only to find out when they started there emo affair, he came clean to my wife and admitted quite the opposite. he hardly had any sex with his wife and he also had ED, so that proved he was a boostful liar just to make himself look good. Then again, maybe he lied to my wife just to keep some cake from her... I dunno...JMO
Pyro Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Its my belief that there are truly confident people. but they keep there bragging in check. They know they have "presence" in a room and they use it when need be, but dont over do it. Then there are people who come across confident but in an arrogant kind of way. They brag alot, always state there opinion, are hard to reason with, etc... Those type of people, I feel, are insecure on the inside about something. So they make the outside get alot of attention to compensate something missing on the inside. They need to be the center of attention, they need to out do someone elses story, they need to always tell you what happened to them. And in your case they need to let it be known that women are attracted to them where ever they go. These type of people come accross fake to me. I think I have a good sense in distingushing a bull****ter and a genuine confident person. Very well put TMW.
Author Mythical Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 Its my belief that there are truly confident people. but they keep there bragging in check. They know they have "presence" in a room and they use it when need be, but dont over do it. Then there are people who come across confident but in an arrogant kind of way. They brag alot, always state there opinion, are hard to reason with, etc... Those type of people, I feel, are insecure on the inside about something. So they make the outside get alot of attention to compensate something missing on the inside. They need to be the center of attention, they need to out do someone elses story, they need to always tell you what happened to them. And in your case they need to let it be known that women are attracted to them where ever they go. These type of people come accross fake to me. I think I have a good sense in distingushing a bull****ter and a genuine confident person. Case in point. My wifes exOM, prior to them starting there affair, would always brag about women wanting him, would brag about all the sex he gets from his wife, that he would get nooners all the time. Only to find out when they started there emo affair, he came clean to my wife and admitted quite the opposite. he hardly had any sex with his wife and he also had ED, so that proved he was a boostful liar just to make himself look good. Then again, maybe he lied to my wife just to keep some cake from her... I dunno...JMO I defiently know he is cocky, and he does always have to be the centre of attention. I think it is probabaly that he does have a little bit of insicurites in him, becuase he does act like a baby sometimes and want me to show him that I care for him etc. Thanks for the post
quankanne Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 it's a kind of insecurity, so by saying that someone wants him (or thinks he's hot or kind or generous, etc), he's validating his self-worth. I've got relatives who do this, and once I figured out what was behind it, it was easier to not be upset with the "bragging." next time he does it, maybe you can tell him something like, "she's making goo-goo eyes because she realizes you're as hot as I think you are." A kind of double-reinforcement in his eyes because you're validating the thought that two women find him hot.
moredeborah Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Probably not as much, but I would do this to get my boyfriend's attention. Maybe that's what he's trying to do?
Author Mythical Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Thank you all you guys for your posts. Smoociface I think you answered them very clearly and true thanks! Thumbingmyway an quankanne also very true and good posts. Thanks you guys for your help!
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