4 + years and it's over!

[masksqueeze]

I am at my wits end. I am just so depressed that I just need to get this off my chest, and I care to hear some opinions on what I should do.

 

I'll start from the top.

 

I met a girl when I was 16 years old, she was 16 as well. She came from a broken home and I was the most secure thing to ever come into her life. We became friends, close friends, then that evolved into head over heels love. We grew together, shared together, did everything TOGETHER. Midway through our relationship we both got into our share of fights and we both ended up sleeping with someone else. We both realized how horrible that was and we went right back to each other. We carried on untill recently.

 

A few months ago she told me that she was tired of the same things. She was "bored" and tired of fighting. Being the person I am I understood. I HATE fighting and I hate to see her unhappy. So I convinced her to stick it out, give me the chance to prove her wrong. I failed.

 

So now she has decided to leave. Immedietely, the day after, she replaced me on here Myspace page with a "guy" whom I do not know. She has been commenting his page and even she is on his Myspace page. I can't help but to think this guy who is nothing like me has walked into her life and convinced her out from the TRUE love her and I had.

 

I am certain that she has sleeping with him, but I dont know for sure. Sex is very sacred to me, I could not put myself to sleeping with someone else after the one night stands we had in the past. My imagination is killing me. I keep thinking she is and even if she doesn't want to be with me, it still kills me to think about it.

 

I truly hate to think she would do that. It haunts me. I have tried the hole rebound thing. Meet someone else and it would take all the pain away, I can't get myself to it. My morals tell me other wise.

 

Even today she send's me a message saying "How are you?", I reply with "Is this what you wanted?", "Is the new guy that much better then me?". I haven't heard anything back.

 

I never knew love could hurt so bad. She said she is sorry for hurting me but she has no idea how I really feel. EVERYONE and EVERYTHING tells me I should forget and move on. I know I'm young and I know I probably should, but I really love this girl. Ahh, the torment of her in my mind everyday.

 

She knows I love her and now I try to pretend that I am over her, and I'm not.

 

I'm lost!

[spinningmywheels]

Yes, you are only 20 (if I'm reading your post right) and it's natural for people to tell you that you're young and you should/will forget and move on.

 

That's all true, but it's also true that those facts don't make this less painful. But you guys broke up. And when she reaches out to you (for whatever reason, I'm assuming a guilty conscience? I dunno) and you snap and are angry back, um, duh, you're not going to get a reply!

 

Don't get me wrong, I struggle with that myself. I'm struggling with my boyfriend of 7 yrs right now, and I find I have a hard time properly expressing my anger about our problems so it comes out in inappropriate comments.

 

I'm not sure how long you've been broken up - can't tell from your post. But I think it's a big mistake to assume this other guy walked in and "took" your girlfriend. That assumes she has no mind of her own and no ability to make her own decisions and choices! It also allows you to focus on him and not whatever problems or issues you guys were having.

 

Stop checking her MySpace and his. Make a clean break at least for a little while and give yourself time to mourn and process. Try your best to focus on yourself and not her - yes, that is absolutely a lot easier said than done (again, I'm in a very similar boat).

 

Good luck.

[moredeborah]

You need to understand that there ARE other girls out there and you will fall in love again and this feeling will go away. It's okay how you feel. But what you need to do is to try to distance yourself from her. Don't check her myspace. Don't let her talk to you. Keep dating. Hang out with friends. Do things to distract yourself. When I was going through a bad breakup, I would distract myself so much that I wouldn't stop a project or stop reading a book until I fell asleep. Convince yourself that you can move on, work on it and you will feel better. Good Luck.

[D-Lish]

Gotta agree about the ignoring of your exes webpages.

It's often better not to know anything about them or what they are doing...it will drive you crazy.

 

Pain isn't relative to anyone's age... it's how you handle it that perhaps comes with wisdom and experience- but not necessarily.

 

But stop checking out what she is doing, it won't do you any good.

Cut off all contact if you are able- it will help the pain to pass quicker.

 

D