Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Long story short my gf of just over 3 1/2 months broke up with me due to a hectic schedule and never having the time to see each other. We talked last week and she basically told me she just didnt have that spark and that it was probably not going to happen (as us getting back together) And that she wasnt sure if we were just really great friends or what....I wrote her an email after just taking the high road and saying sorry things didnt work out. She wrote back bascially saying the same thing and said she didnt mean to downplay the relationship by saying we were only friends, but just that I always seemed hesitant. We hadnt slept together, messed around once, and made out a few times. I cant help but think she alluding to the fact we never slept together. We are both 24 yo. I konw alot of people jump at having sex early in the relationship, but I never made the move. Would any you girls look down on a guy or wonder why, if he wanted 3 months to make a move? I keep thinking that if i had, knowing now that she wanted too, we would have been closer to each other and not seemed like it was just a 'great friends" relationship. Im actually fine with the breakup but the only thing that bothers me is since we didnt sleep together I'll just be that guy she hung out with for a few months and kissed. Theres no emotional-sexual-connection that you get when u sleep with a significant other. Am I just nuts?? Anyone been in a situation like this? Girls, if you wanted to sleep with ur new bf, and he waited this long, would u look down on him??
Guest Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 to put it simply i think she was just not that into u. If she really liked you and really wanted to continue the relationship she wouldve talked to you about it. and i think its refreshing to find a male who doesnt wanna jump in the sack asap. My bf never pressured me or never even asked me for it for months and i liked that cause i knew that sex wasnt the reason he is with me. I think by the sounds of it she only wants you as a friend. I dont think sex is the issue here i think that she just didnt feel the connection, and you dont need sex to feel a connection and if she really wanted to see if it was there, then like i said before she wouldve talked to you bout it.
DanielMadr Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Long story short my gf of just over 3 1/2 months broke up with me due to a hectic schedule and never having the time to see each other. We talked last week and she basically told me she just didnt have that spark and that it was probably not going to happen (as us getting back together) And that she wasnt sure if we were just really great friends or what....I wrote her an email after just taking the high road and saying sorry things didnt work out. She wrote back bascially saying the same thing and said she didnt mean to downplay the relationship by saying we were only friends, but just that I always seemed hesitant. We hadnt slept together, messed around once, and made out a few times. I cant help but think she alluding to the fact we never slept together. We are both 24 yo. I konw alot of people jump at having sex early in the relationship, but I never made the move. Would any you girls look down on a guy or wonder why, if he wanted 3 months to make a move? I keep thinking that if i had, knowing now that she wanted too, we would have been closer to each other and not seemed like it was just a 'great friends" relationship. Im actually fine with the breakup but the only thing that bothers me is since we didnt sleep together I'll just be that guy she hung out with for a few months and kissed. Theres no emotional-sexual-connection that you get when u sleep with a significant other. Am I just nuts?? Anyone been in a situation like this? Girls, if you wanted to sleep with ur new bf, and he waited this long, would u look down on him?? I am not a girl but I tell you this....Girls will tell you they respect guys who are not horny. Not very true. They disrespect needy guys. But they also disrespect emasculated guys. Girls are ptretty horny themselves after all. 3 dates is OK with most of the girls. 3 months is too much ...you come as weak or monk.
Guest Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 I am not a girl but I tell you this....Girls will tell you they respect guys who are not horny. Not very true. They disrespect needy guys. But they also disrespect emasculated guys. Girls are ptretty horny themselves after all. 3 dates is OK with most of the girls. 3 months is too much ...you come as weak or monk. I REMEMBER THAT BAND CALLED SPARKS...WEIRD GERMANS! SHE MUST BE TALLER THAN YOU IF SHE WAS LOOKING DOWN ON YOU. HMMM........3 MONTHS IS A LONG TIME.....I CAN BEAT THAT THO...THE ENTIRE YEAR OF GRADE NINE WAS A RIGHT OFF...I WAS TOO INTERESTED IN SPORTS AND MUSIC. NOW GRADE TEN TURNED OUT NICE - WINK
dgiirl Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Honestly, I would not look down at a guy for waiting. Especially if it was true about you two having a hectic schedule. If you guys rarely saw each other, it's not very likely I'd be sleeping with you so soon either. However, I would be questioning if you were seeing other people if your schedule was so busy that you couldnt make time to meet me.
Kamille Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 I agree with everything and everyone who posted here, but decided to be really introspective and play devil's advocate: you know what, for me the spark factor does depend on what kind of attraction a guy makes me feel which, in turn, depends on how he presents being attracted to me... And yes, sexual attraction is a part of that. However, if she could not "read" that you were attracted on many levels (and not just sex) then perhaps you two are not looking for the same kind of connection in a relationship.
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