An Affair to Remember!

[Bufzookie]

My story all starts in July 04

I got an IM from guy one day, out of the blue! Now I used to live in a military area, so I recieved many emails and IM's from solders that where new to the area. So at first I just shrugged it off like I did the others. But he did say...."Your hot...lets talk" or...."Im bored, wanna hang out somewhere." He actually caught my attention! Him and I talked for about a month online and on the phone. Oh, he was so interesting to me!

So, one day I get the courage up and asked him if he wanted to meat up somewhere. I thought....where would be a good place so we both would feel comfortable.....Walmart! lol.........So he said yes and I got in my car to go meet him. I walked into walmart and went straight to the DVD's to meet him. Well I waited............and waited.......and waited....got really nervious and went to the child section right across the way to see if I could see him first. I wanted the edge you know!! Well, I waited.....and finally I just gave up....so feeling kinda stood up....I went to the shoe section to maybe by a pair of shoes ...I walked down the isle and I got a call on my cell. It was him!! " Where are you going" he said. I turned around and......there was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Absolutly beautiful!

We spent the whole night walking around Walmart talking.....then had to leave at 3:30 a.m cause he had PT. It was all just perfict! He was perfict.

Soon after, we started to date. We had the best times together....spent almost every day together. We were soooooo happy!!

On New years eve that same year he proposed to me! Of course I said yes and him and I made plans to get married! We wanted to get married soon but our family let us know that they want it much later so that we can plan this big wedding. So It was suppose to be April 2006.

Two weeks after we got engaged, I got a call at work. He tells ME....im pregnant! alright....so wondering where the hell he got is info from cause i wasn't even late....I went ot his place after work. I took a pregnancy test and sure enough.....I was!!! Oh my god where we so happy. So we got married that Febuary of 2005 and moved in together.

 

Everything seemed Perfict......I couldn't believe how great things where. I was a wife.....going to be a mommy and working and just perfict.

 

When I got to five months....I notist that my husband didn't want to have sex.....at all. and when we did...he wouldnt finish.....it was all very strange. But I just thought It was that he was scared. See my first month of pregnancy ....I had a blood clot. Thought we lost the baby but everything turned out fine.

I remember going online one day to check email. I wanted to share a funny website with my Mom but I couldn't remember it. So I went on to the history to see if I could fine the link that way. Oh did I open a can of worms......

This is where my life changed forever....and i realized my husband had porn addiction and if VERY unfaithful.

I found....a myspace account that said he was single but a proud parent....had underaged girls on there and worst of all....the emails on there where sexual. Like he had gone to meet women. It was obvious by reading his profile that he was in a single state of mind. Then an Adult friend finder account....now for those of you who don't know what that is....its a site to find people or couples to have sex with. I found out he was using my Credit card to pay for it. Then many porn sites and movies. I didn't know what to do. I confronted him that night when he got home. He FLIPPED....how dare I check up on him.....(accident) thank god that I found out then though. He told me that I was just jelious and being snoopy and was being stupid....I was hurt.....he had never said things like that to me before.

I told him....I don't care what it is...but I want him to take his profiles off those sites and that was that. He did.....well I though. A month later I found out he was going on myspace again to talk to women. He had a secret account...and he was erasing the history on the comp as well. I am very computer savy so I found the embeded codes to find out what he had be looking at.....and I found...more porn....another adult friend finder....it was all to much. I told him I found out and I wanted him to leave.....he begged and pleaded...."oh please dont leave I love you"....Everything that any cheating man would say. He said that he couldn't stop and he didn't know why....so our solution was that I take the internet cord when I was at work or at night. Then get into counseling soon....but first the cord. Well I took the cord but.....I felt REALLY uneasy and sick to my stomic. So I went on the computer when he was at the store and I found the embeded codes and the internet file and they where jam packed with stuff!! I looked....all around the room....and found another cord!!! I was beyond angry!! I told him that I was fed up with this bull!! That I was having his baby and he was cybering with other women online....in the baby's room no less!! thats where the computer was set up!!! I was seven month pregnant then! That same week I was sooooo stressed out that I went into preturm Labor. I went to the hospital and they put me on bed rest till I reached 38 weeks. I never felt soooo lonely in my life.

I quit my job and stayed home..... had no cable....and my husband wans't there very much. When he was home....he always made excuses to go out or go to the pool and such. When I asked for things....like a drink or a snack....he would pitch the biggest hissy....It was horrible asking him for things....but when I got out of the bed he would flip cause I had to stay there and he should get it.....I was sooo confused.

So, one day ...he goes to ditch me again and I said no. He was angry and yelled at me and told me that I'm to controling. You see....I never made him stay home....but I was sick of him leaving all the time. but he went down to the pool anyways and left me there. Well, I got up after 5 minutes of him being gone and went down to the pool. He was on his cell phone the whole time. Then I thought!! Oh my god I never check his phone......so that night when prince charming is passed out. I got to his phone and found....a womens naked pictures on there.....nastly sexy text messages and her phone number on there about 100 times. So I wrote her number down and went to bed. I asked him the next day...about the pictures and the number....his excuse was...." oh I have tons of people call and ask for some guy named billy. Its really wierd!!" yeah okay I by it!! so that very next day i went to my moms and desided to call the number. a girl answered. Lets call her CRYSTAL cause that's her real name! Crystal talked with me and told me that she and him had a 3 month long relationship and that he called himself Billy!! AH HA! get the corolation everyone?? She said that he did not say anything about a wife. Then I told her I as 9 months pregnant and she flipped! She said he called her and told her that he couldnt talk for a while cause he was going to the field for a while and then would call her at the end of September. Thats when I was due! I never felt so abandoned in my life....I went home and cryed and I got sick a few time. I didn't know how I was going to talk to him about all of this. He picked me up to bring me to dinner at my parents and I lost it....screaming and yelling telling him I didn't want him there when i gave birth ....and used every curse I could think of....I just let it pour out of me.

 

Well, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on the 25th of September. He was there. We went to counseling after that and stayed with my parents till we moved to Hawaii. I was very amemic because I lost a lot of blood from my emergency C-section. So I needed a lot of help.

Long story short......we went to counseling and worked thigns out and moved to Hawaii when our daughter was only 3 months old. Everything was fine....we were still working things out and had NO COMPUTER at all...sold the other one and started all over.

Then the cyrcle started again....but this time there was no computer involved!! We had a nice nieghbor....lets call her MARCIA cause that her real name!! She as very sweet and told us...that if at anytime we need to do bills on the computer or just wanted to hang out....to just come over to her house. So we did. I really liked her too!! Well, I started notisting Nathan (my husband) going over there a awful lot. Then one day I just started to get those sick feelings again. I watched him go over and then wait for him...then I would check his phone and he would be on the phone with her....for a long time....and she lives right next door!!

One day.....out of no where...He picked a fight with me...."oh you need to trust me and get over the cheating stuff" yeah like it had happend years ago..but it was only 5 months since then. So he stormed out of the house and said he needed time to cool down. So I let him go....well I was in the bathroom brushing my hair and i look out the window which faces Marcia's house....and I see Nathan come out ......then he walked into our house....and I didn't say anythign.....just ...how was your walk and what did you do?? He said he went walking around the track near the house...thats it. okay.....but then all of the sudden....Wiked nice to me......rubbing my back...trying to get me comfy....it was wierd....not him....so I was VERY suspisious. Well cause of nerves I couldnt sleep....so he hands me 3 sleeping aids and tells me to go lay down....and that he would take care of everything. so i pretented to take them. about 20 minutes later I told him I was going to bed and he said okay.....well i got up to get a drink of water...i had just had my wisdom teeth out so was kinda already druged. lol.....but Nathan looks like he was about to leave.....and then i saw my phone on the counter...and I pick it up....and Marcia called it at 1:30 am....thats what time it was.....so i called her! she said she didn't call......um...okay. so I went back down....Nathan fallowed and was trying to get me to sleep....so I pretended to get sleepy.....then "Feel asleep" haha...then he went to the back door and walked out....I shot up and went to the bathroom to look out the window....and I watched him go to her house and go in......OH my god was I mad! can you imagine if I had fallen asleep...who was going to be there for the baby?? He didn't even bring the baby monitor.....so I strapped the monitor to my hip....ran outside in my pjs and went under her window.....and .....I could here them!!! Oh it was terrible....I can't believe these people think I am so stupid.....so i ran to her front door and rang the bell....and Nate says..."oh god, dont tell her im here" ?? right.....so ran to the back door and she answers looking very messy....I said...where is Nathan....and she said that he wasnt there and that she was sleeping....yea okay....so I ran back to the house...into the bathroom and to the window...and watched them freak out in the room. about 10 minutes later...the devertion!!! Marcia comes to my front door....and asked me if I was okay and if i wanted to talk....I said hold on....she demanded me to stay....but I knew what they where trying to do....I ran back and watched him come out of her house....and he came home....and I wanted to know ....what the hell was going on!!! Both of them stick by.....we where just talking at 2 am.....again....right!

That time I was done....two days later...I left him and went home to my parents with the baby and told him to figure out what he wanted ......I was gone for three months....and I still checked things from a far.

Now in may of this year....he wanted to see me...so I told him we could see each other when we visit his parents.....so we did and that was fine. It was really great actually.....no fighting and it was nice....we even talked about me coming home. When I got back to my parents I stayed for only one more week and then went home to Hawaii.

Everything was fine....but I became very depressed and didn't trust him......I felt lonely....and I guess he was trying really hard to get me believe him....... He was leaving for Iraq the end of July so we were trying to make the best of an awful situation. Then two weeks before he leaves...I went on to aol to talk to my mom...i used his account cause mine was acting up...then someone ims Him (me). This person knew things that only people who shower with him would know....I was shocked....and it was a person where his parents lived.....i asked the person to call me.....IT WAS...........A MAN!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god........

 

Well...Nathan is gone.....he has been Iraq for a while.....and talks about couseling and love and such....and I don't know what to say or do....I want to leave....but then I don't.....and here I am....taking care of the bills...the house...the baby.....the dog....and what is he doing? I'm scared of the unknown! I don't know what he is doing....and I don't want to sit here and feel like I'm not good enough anymore. I have never felt so unattractive before. I wouldn't know where to go and I feel so cut off! I'm only 21 years old and I feel as though I have lived a life time....and I wish it had not been that way.

[Guest]

OH MY GOSH! I feel for your dilema, the treatment you have been receiving from your husband, really sucks! You need to leave this man if you want to remain sane! He is no good for you. This man is nowhere near ready for any sort of commitment.

 

Your baby girl needs some stability and security as well as you. By sticking with this man he will not only continue his bad behavior but will also not honor any of his vows he made to you, he has broken his vows to you over and over again. You need to face the truth, he does not RESPECT you nor your baby girl. C'mon you absolutley deserve better.

 

Gather your strength, because you will need it, and leave this man for good. Get some good counseling, because he sure did a number on you. A counselor can help you re-build your self-esteem back up again. You seem to be young enough to start a new life elsewhere and possibly meet someone in the future who really does deserves you.

 

By the way.... next time don't go meeting anyone at a Walmart, not a good sign! LOL

 

Best of luck.

[Flyin in Clouds]

... He is no good for you. ...

I don't think he's any good for anyone... geez...

 

Do what you know is best for you and your child.

[rossi]

I read your post and it really made me cry.1- you are too young to have the life you now are living.2-This guy has BIG ISSUES, really BIGGGGG ones.3-His problems are not about you, it is about him, he probably is sick from porn and all the stuff that comes from it. He must be as young as you4-The only way you could go back to him is if he goes to a good therapist to help him out to figure out about his addiction to sex and why he is doing this to you.5-This is not a good environment for your daughter, think about her and you. She is too young and deserve a better future.6-Please go back to your parent, go to college get a degree and take care of yourself and baby. You are way young and have a great future over you.7-If he want you back, this is what you should do, if he does not want to do it divorce.

[hardrock]

Wow! You must realize how inhumanely he has treated you and no amount of words, promises, etc. will give you back what you have lost in the relationship. Can he change? yes Will he change? who knows and how long? Please move back home, file for divorce there, and protect yourself. If you don't hate him already for the utter disrespect, embarrassment, and disregard for your life (std's?), you should. Why should you have to be the one to put up with this, and on top of it "coach" him through the many years of therapy and IC he will require to function as a normal human being.

 

Also, don't get down on yourself. You've shown a tremendous amount of strength, compassion, and understanding already. What more could YOU have done to make HIM change? Walk away with a respect for yourself that will show in your daughter's eyes one day. You are still young, attractive, and have a lot to give toward a relationship. I bet it won't take long for you to find someone that will complete your family, without a train wreck of baggage.

[Bufzookie]

Oh if it all where that simple .......

 

I love my husband very much....and I do tell myself that maybe I should leave him. But he has agreed to theropy and such. But here is my BIG delema bought this situation.

You see, he is in Iraq right now. He left the end of July and I am here doing everything for the family. So there is a difficalt web of things that I would have to deal with here.

Then, I don't get along with my Parents. They where very abusive to me as a child and I don't want to go back to that. So, I feel very stuck in one place at the moment!

I also, love my husband very much and I want to believe that he can change...only if he wills it. But I am not nieve and stupid about the fact that he could keep doing this over and over. I am just very lost and very depressed. It goes deeper then just infedelity. My whole life has been like this....with every major relationship. And I'm starting to just lose hope with being loved like I should.

 

I keep thinking over and over in my head....."for saking all others" ...... Did no one here that part of the vows??

[Guest]

I hope this little bit of advice helps u in some small way. It sounds like u would like to believe that this man can change - and u are not sure if he can. So, what I think might help u is this - think about this man's character? how well do u really know him? do u think he is fully aware of what role his actions played in this? do u think he would change simply to be in a relationship with you or do so for himself?

 

I can tell u this - i was in a relationship where certain things i did contributed to the end and even though some things were situational, and some things learned behaviour, i took responsibilty for all of them and did not use an excuse to justify one over the other. And I made a promise TO MYSELF, to never, ever repeat those mistakes and do everything possible to ensure that never happens. And so why did I do that? Because I want to be in a healthy, loving respectful relationship with someone and if those things are in my life I will never have that. I am committed and proud i accepted my own challenge and i see the benefits already.

 

I hope that helps u

[NoIDidn't]

Oh if it all where that simple .......

 

I love my husband very much....and I do tell myself that maybe I should leave him. But he has agreed to theropy and such. But here is my BIG delema bought this situation.

You see, he is in Iraq right now. He left the end of July and I am here doing everything for the family. So there is a difficalt web of things that I would have to deal with here.

Then, I don't get along with my Parents. They where very abusive to me as a child and I don't want to go back to that. So, I feel very stuck in one place at the moment!

I also, love my husband very much and I want to believe that he can change...only if he wills it. But I am not nieve and stupid about the fact that he could keep doing this over and over. I am just very lost and very depressed. It goes deeper then just infedelity. My whole life has been like this....with every major relationship. And I'm starting to just lose hope with being loved like I should.

 

I keep thinking over and over in my head....."for saking all others" ...... Did no one here that part of the vows??

 

 

If you don't want a divorce, you don't have to commit to one (right now). But you DO need to be AWAY from him and this drama. Get some counselling to see how the abuse from your parents led you to accept abuse from him. He is RUINING your credit. If you stay in the same house as him, you WILL lose the rest of your ability to trust people AND you WILL pass that handicap on to your daughter.

 

This is about you AND about her. You BOTH can do better. And Fear is just that, Fear. You can move past the fear.

 

Go to a military counsellor. They have to be confidential too. Tell them everything. I fear for your safety when he returns from Iraq, as he is already a VERY INSTABLE personality. I know you love him, but the man you love will not be returning from Iraq. Vietnam changed some of my relatives forever, FOR THE WORST. And they too, were very unstable personalities.

 

Please. For yourself. Find out why this guy appeals to you so much. He is draining away your ability to love yourself, and see the good in others. If you don't at least get a separation for 12 months to work on you, you will be lost in his chirade. Tell him to work on himself too. (He won't but that's his choice). You will need to become self-sufficient to get away from him and not have to run to your parents.

 

You can do it. You are computer savvy. You sound so smart and capable. Do this for you. You can do it.

[hardrock]

You are a complicated one, aren't you! We need to find a way to get you back in college, with the ability to live on your own, and take care of your child properly. Those are all big challenges. I can see your reluctance for divorce. If you stay, you know what is coming when he gets back from Iraq: Counseling, probably more erratic behavior at some point, depression, etc. You are using your situation of inability to make it on your own to excuse yourself for staying with him, but that's ok for now. He's not at home emotionally abusing you, and you can control the amount of contact you have with him from phone and email, etc. Regardless of how much you love him, and no matter how many times he's told you, this guy is and is going to be for some time: a mess. The mental trauma he could experience from war, coupled already with his inability to function in a relationship would scare me away. You're not going to be able to fix him, and you're not going to be able to be supportive. Only he can choose to fix himself, and only he can make it happen when things don't go just right. At some point, your parents may be the better of the two evils. What kind of emotional abuse have you experienced at home that you must protect your daughter from? I'm not going to lay into you to go back home, but I want you to give it serious consideration. You have some tough choices to make, and you need to make them for YOUR benefit.

[Flyin in Clouds]

I agree that being in Iraq can / will change him. It really isn't a nice place and though my son wasn't in a front line combat unit, more a support unit, seeing the death and destruciton has given him nightmares and a drinking problem he didn't have before he went there. Like many men that go to war, they try to bury it deep inside and don't want to talk about it.

 

But lots of men "lose it" when they get back. There is a program that my son's unit had to go through upon returning to civilization from Iraq to try to prevent the guys from going nuts and killing their wives and family. I forget the name of the program, but I suspect your H will have to go through it too.

[Bufzookie]

Alright.... Well, I am planing to go back to college very soon. I almost have an associates degree. I'm trying! really I am.

Now to address the abuse.....my father used to beat me and I got emotional abuse from both Parents. That is a big reason why I don't want to go back home. And I don't have anywhere else to go.

 

The fact is....I don't know what I need to do. I feel very lost and not very good about myself. My closest relationships are all very disfunctional. I do not feel as though I can change my husband though! I know that the only way that is going to happen is if he wants to do change. I am very torn. Now don't take that as if I'm nieve about the situation. I know quite well that he could keep doing this distructive behaivor.

 

I'm just very very alone. I don't have anyone to look for, for comfort. I am trying to get a hold of a therapist right now. Just to get myself in a stable place of mind. Words can not desribe the state I find myself in. I want to just have peace in my life. Just don't know if leaving will bring me peace at all. I think family is very important to me. I'm just afraid of not having that mom and dad family for my daughter! She's my whole world.

 

I know for sure that I want to try one last time with him.....if he is willing to get counseling then....we will do it....and if he messes up...I'll leave for good. But apart of me says.....get the hell out. God I'm so confused!! I just don't understand why this happens to me. I'm a good person.

[aprilrain]

Oh.. you are so young and you have your entire life on front of you.

Leave this jerk as soon as possible and move on. You deserve better.

[Bufzookie]

I also wanted to add that I went to the doctor today and found out that I have bacterial Vaginosis. Its and STD and the doctor said it seems as though I've had if for a few months....meaning...i got it when he was home. I'm devistated. Its treatable but .....im soo sad!

[Bufzookie]

would really like to here from someone!

[Ladyjane14]

I'm just afraid of not having that mom and dad family for my daughter! She's my whole world.

 

I'm all about preserving families... but sweetie, that could just as easily have been HIV or HepC that your husband passed on to you.

Instead of having a two-parent home, your daughter could eventually end up with no parents at all.

 

From what you've said, this guy has cheated and lied for the ENTIRE time that you've known him. This is 'who he is'. And while it's true that people are capable of change, you can't plan your life (or your daughter's) based on that remote possibility.

 

If it was me... I'd dump the cheater and go home. See a lawyer, get a divorce and child support. The help you need to take from your family is of a temporary nature, and who knows... maybe it'll be possible to work through some of the "dysfunction" in these familial relationships. This would be beneficial to your daughter in the long run, I think. Afterall, these are her family members too.

 

It's possible that your husband might someday grow up and act like somebody. But until he does.... it is what it is.

 

This guy is treating you like you were his mother, some kind of authority figure who he needs to do an end-around on in order to have fun. You don't need that level of immaturity in your life. You've already got one kid to raise.

 

Don't wait until this guy kills you with carelessness. He doesn't care if you live or if you DIE. Think about it. The STD he gave you might have just as easily ended your life. And even though AIDS patients are living longer than ever before, their lives are significantly altered.

 

Get out while the gettin' is good. And have your attorney chat his commander up.

[Bufzookie]

there is anothre delema! If I talk with his commander then he could get in big trouble...maybe even get kicked out. Now....personally I don't care if that happens...but I don't work full time and my daughter is under his insurance! I could do it to him...but not to her. And recently I got to speak with him about the STD and he swears up and down that he never had a Physical incounter when it comes to infedelilty. I know its all bull.....but i'm just very scared and stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know....he opened my family up to terrible things....and every day since he left has been easier for me to think I could step out on my own. I think its good now that he is not here. Cause I don't have him here to convince me to stay.

Usually I am not a week women. I have been cheated on many times before....and no matter how serious things where with the other person...I left and said NO. Now that I am Married ....very much in Love with him and have a baby......I have such a tangled web to cut through that it seems as though it would be impossible to escape!

I just don't have a support system anywhere! I'm totally lost and not myself. I think I should go to counseling first to get myself better and then ......with a clear head and better self outlook I will be able to take the right path to a much healthier life with my baby!

Right now...I just feel.....like nothing. I hate it!!

[hardrock]

Are you doing ok?

 

Don't worry about the insurance. You can get on state medicaid if necessary.

 

I think in the long run, straightening out the issues you have with your father could affect you for years. This could be a chance to learn and grow, instead of a miserable existence it seems to be. Trust me, things could always be worse. Next time you think about staying, just picture his dirty "you know what" giving you that STD .

 

If you are mentally ok to stay there, then that's ok. But, when he returns, you have to change the playing field. He has to make choices to protect you and your daughter that I don't think he can make at this point. This dude hasn't hit bottom, and you don't want to be there when he does. Trust me, I'm a guy, and he HASN'T hit bottom, and you deserve MUCH better.

[Bufzookie]

Yeah, I'm doing okay! Thanks for the advice....and I just want to say that I know what I need to do....and I know that it could have been a lot worse. Everyday I am trying to figure it out! What I should do, when I should do it....how. I'm trying to do this all by myself and its all very scary and new. I guess I'm at the stage of disapointment. I can't believe my life has turned out his way. Things like that. But, I'm working on it!! I'm working on me! I have an appointment with a counselor tomorrow. That, I'm really proud of myself for doing!!! Thanks everyone for the support! I can't explain how much I need it!!! Thank you!!!

[jmargel]

Yeah, I'm doing okay! Thanks for the advice....and I just want to say that I know what I need to do....and I know that it could have been a lot worse. Everyday I am trying to figure it out! What I should do, when I should do it....how. I'm trying to do this all by myself and its all very scary and new. I guess I'm at the stage of disapointment. I can't believe my life has turned out his way. Things like that. But, I'm working on it!! I'm working on me! I have an appointment with a counselor tomorrow. That, I'm really proud of myself for doing!!! Thanks everyone for the support! I can't explain how much I need it!!! Thank you!!!

 

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a huge heart. I give you alot of credit of not turning sour even though all of this has happened to you. Above all remember that nothing you said or did has caused either the abuse by your father or by your husband.

 

And you are exactly right in terms of your husband having to want to fix himself. He has huge immaturity issues and those don't go away very fast. IMO there are 3 stages in life.

 

-] Parent

 

-] Adult

 

-] Child

 

For a marriage to work in the long term, both spouses need to be at the 'Adult' stage. Right now you are at the 'Parent', and him at the 'Child'. As long as this happens you won't get what you deserve and need in a marriage.

 

Definetly seek counseling, someone who is licensed. Actually I would take it a step further and want to talk to a psychologist. They are more adapt to help with these deeper issues that you are facing.

 

From your avatar you look like a very beautiful woman and you have a huge heart. He's a lucky guy to have you. You definetly need to start caring about yourself and what you want out of life. What have you really been getting out of this marriage? Though I know it maybe lonely right now, know that God's plan is not for you to feel this way the rest of your life. Keep your head up and post here as much as you like.

[HighDesertSoftness]

I would recommend that you need to look further into yourself and ask the hard questions....

 

Why do you think you deserve to be treated like that?

 

Why do you allow yourself to be treated with such disrespect in the same manner more than once?

 

Why do you think it's love you are feeling when hurting someone in the way he has you, is not loving?

 

Is this the example you want for your children? The baby is too young now, thank goodness, to be witness to this kind of relationship.

 

Good for you for seeking out therapy. Good luck.

[hardrock]

Are you doing ok? How did the session go?

[Bufzookie]

Im doing okay! The counseling was Kind of non eventful because It was our first meating. We did talk a little about my father and my husband. It was really hard for me to really put into words on the pain I have felt for so long. But I know that each time we have a session, it should get better. I'm hoping I can get a lot a things of my chest so that I can move on.

 

On a sad note.....I looked at the bank statements and realized he spent a whole lot of money. The first time I left him....was the beginning of March and did come back till mid may. From those points.....he spent over 3,600 dollars on .....lord knows. I realized that I need to get as soon as possible because I am struggling to save money and take care of my daughter all at the same time. I'm thinking of opening a new account somewhere and putting money in it. This is way out of control.

 

Also, he has a email account on Yahoo and i can't get on it. He has to many emails to begin with but the ones I know about all have almost the same password! But this one ....I don't know what it is. I have tryed every possible combination. I don't like it....its sneaky and makes me angry everytime I think about it. I don't want to live like this anymore. I used to be a happy and content person. Now I feel like an emotional mess and parranoia has driven me to feel unwanted and abandoned. there is no other way to discribe this but........this sucks!!! But....thats why I am going to that lady.....to talk about it and get myself back in to place...then I will be able to move forward.

[Bufzookie]

....................

[hardrock]

Glad to see you're doing ok.

 

I would definitely start protecting your assets. You need control of the money from a trust standpoint. He could easily wipe you out without enough to pay the bills. Keep your chin up.

 

 

HR

[Jane Doe]

Oh my gosh! RUN!!!! This guy is a player, a liar, a cheater, a user, and that's only the beginning. You've probably only skimmed the surface of what's he's done to you. If I were you I'd divorce him ASAP and keep him completely out of your life. He sounds evil and dangerous, IMO.