London Kid Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Hey, i've been a lurker for while but i've finally made an account and i thought i'd tell you my story! It's not very uplifting though, but i'm sure there are people who can relate. It actually kinda reads like a joke, with a punchline at the end Sorry it's so loooooong. So, i started my first year at university a few weeks ago. On my first day there, this one particular girl (out of many!) took my eye straight away. Wasn't love at first or anything like that, i just saw her and thought 'ooh, she's cute!'. That's all it was right then, a feeling. A week later, i had a class with her and i whilst trying to work i couldn't help but gaze over to her direction......and i swear i saw her doing the same thing to me! At that point i thought 'hmm, ok maybe there's something there, i'll introduce myself next time i see her'. Again, it was just a little feeling i had, nothing serious. Next day i'm waiting for my class, thinking of the best way to introduce myself to her, when out of the blue she just comes up to me and starts talking to me! Obviously that felt good, there i was planning on introducing myself to her and she beat me too it! We went into class together, sat toegether, chatted and did our work. It was nice. The first step had been made. I had definatly made myself a friend at that point and we ended up sitting with each other in most classes, walking with each other to classes, having lunch and just generally hanging out in our free time. We didn't see each other *all* the time though. This continued for 2 weeks. Got to know her fairly well, had a laugh with her, realised that i definatly did like her but i knew that it wasn't quite 'there' yet. Week 3. Same as usual, went for lunch most days, worked together, hung out e.t.c. At this point though, i was beginning to have doubts about the whole thing. I was the one who was making the moves most of the time and part of me thought 'if she was interested then i would know about it by now'. So i decided 'ok back off, get out before i get hurt, maybe i'll be able to judge the situation better if i'm not so keen, hell she might even make a move if i back off!'. So that's what i decided to do. Now i'm sure some of you are thinking 'Dude, why didn't you just ask her on a date already?!' Well, i didn't becuase she was one of the few friends i had made since starting university and i didn't want to screw things up by making a pass at her without knowing with some reasonable ammount of certainty what her feelings were. So i backed off. And what happened? I was walking to one of my classes when she comes up to me and asks me if i want to go have lunch with her and if i'd be able to give her a bit of help with some work. This is the first time she's initiated us doing something, so i'm thinking 'Great! Maybe this is her showing her interest?' We went and had lunch, i helped her with her work. Now we had done this several times before but this time it was different. We *really* hit it off like never before, talked loads, made each other laugh and she asked me lots of questions about me, my family, where i'm from e.t.c and i did the same. Really got to know each other, felt as though we had taken things a step further. Had a really nice time. She even walked with me to the train station when i had to go home. I got home that evening feeling rather confident after the afternoon i had had. I was pretty sure that she was interested at this point, so i decided to screw the idea of backing off and that i was gonna ask her on a date - as the situation had now changed. Fast forward a weekend to the present day. We've just finised a class and i say 'hey, i'm gonna go get some lunch now if you're interested?'. 'Sure' she says. We're having lunch. I'm mustering up the courage to ask her on a date. I open my mouth: Me: So, are you busy at the weekend? wait for it...... wait... wait....... wait........ Her: 'Well, i'm gonna go meet my boyfriends family' My subconcious: 'SH*T!!!!'
hazelle Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 It would have been nice of her to mention her boyfriend when you two "really go to know each other" eh? How did you react when she finally mentioned him? Try to remember that friendship can be more permanate and stable than a dating relationship. If you focus elsewhere and keep her as a friend, perhaps someday things might work out? If not, it sounds like you do have a good friend at least.
hazelle Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 i accidentally posted the above message twice and because i'm new too, i don't know how to delete this message, so i've just edited it... to say nothing really. oops.
Bamaboy2006 Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 oh man dude im sorry that happened. this was kind of the same thing with a girl i liked. She didnt give the first sign of having a boyfriend till she rejected me when i asked her out and said that she had a boyfriend.
Author London Kid Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 It would have been nice of her to mention her boyfriend when you two "really go to know each other" eh? How did you react when she finally mentioned him? Try to remember that friendship can be more permanate and stable than a dating relationship. If you focus elsewhere and keep her as a friend, perhaps someday things might work out? If not, it sounds like you do have a good friend at least Yeah, you're right, i'd pretty much come to that conclusion too. I was really suprised when she mentioned her b/f becuase there really were no signs of her having one. I mean, he's at the *same* university as us so you'd think that she'd spend her time hanging out with him rather than me wouldn't you? Or is that just logical? Seems a bit odd to me. As for how i reacted, well i didn't really. I just said 'oh,that's cool' and carried on as normal. Should i give her some hint as to how i feel or would that be a stupid idea? I'm thinking of (half) jokingly saying next time the subject of what we're doing at the weekend crops up, ''well, i was going to ask you if you wanted to go for a drink but i don't think that's a good idea now! haha'. I see that as letting her know that i'm sort of interested but in a non-threatening manner? Just so she knows for future reference But yeah, i'll be keeping her as a friend becuase otherwise it would have been a waste getting to know her. I'd like to think that i'm a pretty mature person and i can get over it....it's not like i was deeply in love with her or anything!
Guest Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 ahhh, remember rule #1 and #2 #1. communicate #2. do not make assumptions did this person tell the other person face to face that they are with someone else in a 'relationship'? does that person strike you as someone that would be in a relationship and try and be in another one at the same time? lots of possiblities other than what you might be thinking u know...best u ask and get book from the source instead of from some second hand store. what were both of you 'focussing on' - sounds like studying and doing some work right? can't graduate until u pass the exams so look at it that way. and looks like these two have always been pals - just forgot about that part - wink,,,that's the foundation
Author London Kid Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 did this person tell the other person face to face that they are with someone else in a 'relationship'? does that person strike you as someone that would be in a relationship and try and be in another one at the same time? lots of possiblities other than what you might be thinking u know...best u ask and get book from the source instead of from some second hand store. what were both of you 'focussing on' - sounds like studying and doing some work right? can't graduate until u pass the exams so look at it that way. and looks like these two have always been pals - just forgot about that part - wink,,,that's the foundation Not quite sure what you mean, but thanks anyway!
Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Sorry to hear that, it happens to everyone at least once though!
missmay Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 That is total crap. Why didn't she mention him before? What a jerk. I would probably stop talking to her.
Author London Kid Posted October 25, 2006 Author Posted October 25, 2006 Ironically, she asked me for my number today.........
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