Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Okay, so here's the deal. Me and my GF broke up about 4 months ago. We were together a bit over 3 years and had an apartment together. So when we broke up we had about 3 months to go on the apartment, we both moved out and continued to pay out the remainder of the lease. Neither of us could afford it alone. We lived in an pretty expensive area. Anyway, I had no real options at the time, I had no money saved, I had a small amount of debt I was paying off, so I moved back in with my parents after almost 14 years...I'm 31 now. This was certainly a huge blow to my pride. I felt like "that guy." I don't view myself as a loser and I make a decent income and I have an enourmous amount of drive. I plan on staying a few more months and finish paying off the debt and saving more money. This will allow me to move to wherever I choose. So, the question is this. I'd like to start dating again, however I'm really embarassed by the living with the parents thing at my age. Will women be understanding about this or will they avoid me like the plauge? Just need opinions from the ladies. Thanks.
allina Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 To me living at your parents house would be a turn off, sorry, harsh but true. Yes, you do have a "good reason" but doesn't everyone??
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 To me living at your parents house would be a turn off, sorry, harsh but true. Yes, you do have a "good reason" but doesn't everyone?? I appreciate the honesty. It truly sucks. I never thought I'd find myself in this position. Keep the opinions coming.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 you do NOT have to tell your life story.... or any truths when just dating.... you know, unless you like the person..... if it gets brought up, just say you live in the area.... and if it gets to the point of "lets go back to Your place"..... tell her you have crazy roomies. maybe after finding an exclusive-would be you can then tell her.
db75 Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Don't feel too bad about it. Some women may be okay with it, some may not. Honestly though, the ones who aren't okay with it aren't ones you'd really want to give your time anyway. It would be one thing if you've always lived with your parents, but that's not the case. If it comes up in conversation with someone you really like, well your circumstances are understandable. Some women will have to respect that. You are trying to change your circumstances and you've got drive. That'll be attractive to some women. Honestly, it probably takes alot of guts to go back with your folks after that many years. Look at it like this too. While I'm sure it sucks, what you're doing is admirable. You're getting yourself in much better shape financially. This is also going to help you in the long run in attracting a mate or a date for that matter. You'll be fine, get out there and give it a shot.
Kamille Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I was dating a guy who lived at his parent's for awhile (he was 33), and, well, it was kind of weird... I don't know if it was because he was self-conscious about it or if it was because he couldn't be as spontaneous as he would like too since he couldn't invite me over to his place or make me dinner or anything like that. My point : it's probably all about your attitude toward it. You do have a good reason, you don't have to talk about on the first date - nor do you need to avoid the topic-, and there are many different kinds of woman out there and, if they like you, they probably won't care that you are temporarily living at your parents...
dgiirl Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I totally admire someone who's willing to make sacrifices to get them into a better position. Yes, living with the rents is not ideal, but neither is racking up a huge debt to live independently, and I'd respect you a lot more to know you're living with the parents in order to get a better position in life. Now, if you spend years at your parents, then it would raise a huge flag, but a few months? No, I'd be cool with it. Heck, I almost had to do it myself after my divorce. I can totally empathize, as long as you show drive to better yourself!
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 If you found a well paying job 5 minutes from where you used to live, why would you move out? Moving out for the sake of moving out and burning money on rent is just plain dumb. The money could be better spent on fun vacations and other stuff. I totally admire someone who's willing to make sacrifices to get them into a better position. Yes, living with the rents is not ideal, but neither is racking up a huge debt to live independently, and I'd respect you a lot more to know you're living with the parents in order to get a better position in life. Now, if you spend years at your parents, then it would raise a huge flag, but a few months? No, I'd be cool with it. Heck, I almost had to do it myself after my divorce. I can totally empathize, as long as you show drive to better yourself!
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I totally admire someone who's willing to make sacrifices to get them into a better position. Yes, living with the rents is not ideal, but neither is racking up a huge debt to live independently, and I'd respect you a lot more to know you're living with the parents in order to get a better position in life. Now, if you spend years at your parents, then it would raise a huge flag, but a few months? No, I'd be cool with it. Heck, I almost had to do it myself after my divorce. I can totally empathize, as long as you show drive to better yourself! Thanks dgiirl. That's really what this is all about...sacrifice. Yeah, I could go out now and get my own place, however with the debt looming over me, I would only end up in worse shape. The break-up didn't come as a shock or anything, but the fact that my only viable option was to move back in with my parents certainly was. But in the end I saw it as a second chance to truly better myself in many areas of my life. For that matter too, my parents are getting older. I'll only be with them a few months, but years from now when they're gone, I'll truly look back on this time with them and treasure it. Over the last several years I haven't spent as much time with them as I should have. In the end, I'm very thankful that I have parents this incredibly kind and giving. Having lived on my own since I was 17, this is certainly an odd position to be in, but I'm hoping after this is over I'll be a better person in alot of ways for the experience. Thanks to all for the opinions thus far, keep them coming.
Guest Posted October 24, 2006 Posted October 24, 2006 If you found a well paying job 5 minutes from where you used to live, why would you move out? Moving out for the sake of moving out and burning money on rent is just plain dumb. The money could be better spent on fun vacations and other stuff. I'm not sure I follow you. I already have a decent job. I guess to answer your question of "Why would I want to move out?" Isn't that pretty obvious? I'm too old to be living with the parents and I like my independence. There's no substitue for your own place.
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