amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 It has just occurred to me that if I think about how much I love my boyfriend, it physically hurts my stomach. I get this pain deep inside my stomach, and it's so intense that I don't want to think about how much he means to me. We've been together since the beginning of summer and neither of us really express how much the other one means, although it's pretty clear. Has anybody else ever felt this intensely over another person? Even though I've been engaged twice and married once, never before have I felt such strong feelings for a guy. Is this what it feels like when you've found your soul-mate?
laRubiaBonita Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 ....it physically hurts my stomach. I get this pain deep inside my stomach...... Is this what it feels like when you've found your soul-mate? maybe for you.... but when i broke up with my exbf, i could not eat for a week or so, my stomach would knot up soo bad and hurt, and when i did eat it tastes horrible. IMO~ a soulmate is someone who just knows... you feel extremely comfortable around them and thinking of them would be euphoric.... not give you gastridice. so it could just be you have strong feelings for him.
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Nope. It just means you're intensely emotionally invested in him. It doesn't even necessarily mean that the feelings will be reciprocated. Your feelings are always about you. The lust/attraction/passion you feel for someone comes from within you and isn't a sign or symbol of the nature of the relationship.
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 LaRB, did you feel as though your exBF was your soul-mate at one time? Just curious...
KittenMoon Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Has anybody else ever felt this intensely over another person? Yes, but it ended anyways. How you (and they) feel today is no guarantee against tomorrow, next month, or next year. Sorry- I don't mean to be cynical, just IME.
Moai Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 My soulmate doesn't make me feel strange at all. I know that when she is not around, nothing feels "right", and when she is around it's perfect. I have never been this relaxed around another human being before. So I'd say that soulmates make you feel relaxed. But everyone is different. If you are happy and not all tied up in knots freaking out, enjoy it.
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 I have never been this relaxed around another human being before. Same. I just long to be with him. We can be doing nothing, just taking a walk on the beach or watching TV, and still I'd rather be there with him than on a great adventure with anyone else.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 LaRB, did you feel as though your exBF was your soul-mate at one time? Just curious... no quite.... but initially, before he started wanting ME to change things about myself and stuff, i did think i would be with him a long long time. he was the first guy i have truely ever loved.
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Nope. It just means you're intensely emotionally invested in him. It doesn't even necessarily mean that the feelings will be reciprocated. Your feelings are always about you. While I agree on the one hand that I'm the one feeling my feelings, I have to disagree about the emotional investment of it all being the reason for such feelings. I am only willing to put forth into the relationship with what I'm comfortable, as long as he is taking it upon himself to reciprocate and nurture my well-being in return. I find it completely personally irresponsible of someone to feel this intensely over another who gives nothing, or very little, in return.
Moai Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Same. I just long to be with him. We can be doing nothing, just taking a walk on the beach or watching TV, and still I'd rather be there with him than on a great adventure with anyone else. It's pretty cool, huh? I love it when I go over to her house and she is puttering around in the kitchen and I am lying on her couch, watching TV or reading and listening to music--a comment here or there, but we aren't even really talking. It feels so awesome and comfortable at those moments there is no place I would rather be, and nothing I would rather be doing. Just feeling her presence is so satisfying I have no idea how I could live so long without knowing her like I do now. I am without doubt the cheesiest man on the planet. But I embrace it...
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I find it completely personally irresponsible of someone to feel this intensely over another who gives nothing, or very little, in return. Feelings aren't rational. Not a lot of people make a balanced equation of love. And some people who are particularly desperate and hopeful will see reciprocation where none exists simply because they want to believe they see it. Love makes us believe that we are rational, even when we're far from it. I think the safest thing to do when in love is to distrust oneself at least a little.
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 there is no place I would rather be, and nothing I would rather be doing 'Tis grand when doing even the most mundane of things with someone has you feeling that way
Moai Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 While I agree on the one hand that I'm the one feeling my feelings, I have to disagree about the emotional investment of it all being the reason for such feelings. I am only willing to put forth into the relationship with what I'm comfortable, as long as he is taking it upon himself to reciprocate and nurture my well-being in return. I find it completely personally irresponsible of someone to feel this intensely over another who gives nothing, or very little, in return. I don't think I'd feel the way I do if she didn't feel the same way back. It just evolved this way, y'know? It's like it started with, "Wow, she's a pretty cool chick." Then: "She sure is nice to me. I like her a lot." Then: "Damn, she sure is pretty, too." Then: "Wow, I haven't seen her today. Better call her--oh, wait, there she is pulling up to the house right now." Then: "I wish she would walk around naked all the time. Dammit." Then: "Whatever is going on she is for sure included." And now: "When she isn't around half of me is gone." I told you I embraced my cheesiness....
basscatcher Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Has anybody else ever felt this intensely over another person? .......... Is this what it feels like when you've found your soul-mate?..... I started reading a book about soulmates. It is called "Soul Mates" by Thomas Moore. Its rather deep and sort-of hard to understand at times. I understand that having a soulmate is having a bond-connection with another person. Its a bond of emotions, logic, beliefs, personalities and there have been claims to spiritual connections. A soulmate tends to be someone (can be more then one person) whom gives balance to things when your together. They have qualities and characteristics you lack and when together you make a good team complementing one another. (work well together) A soulmate is a person(s) we call our best friend. There is a deep level of connecting. NOW As for myself. I believe that my best friend is a soulmate. She and I understand one another and we know what each other lacks and what each other has for strength. We are opposites in the way in which we support one another to help each other where the other lacks. We don't find jealousy because we see in the other what we lack. We are grateful that we have each other to support the other. Your senses are heightened also with each other. You can pick up on the slightest abnormality in the other. Meaning you can't hide anything from each other. You can (as they say) sense it. Have I ever had a man I can claim as a soulmate--yes,, Michael.. He was my ultimate. I adored him. He complimented me almost like magic. We had balance when we were together. We worked well in everthing we did. I could always sense when something wasn't right with him. I was knew what troubled him without him saying anything to me. I was able to point out exactly the issue, who was involved and what caused it. (this use to scare him about me.) When we broke up and he moved 2 states away. I was able to feel him. I could feel his feelings... I could feel his emotions. I knew what he was doing. I knew when he was stressing over his life. I knew when he was hurting or scared or confused.. It use to drive me crazy feeling him all the time. When he reached out to me one day and we began to talk he started telling me things and I would finish his story and I told him I knew. He brought up things that I never witnessed or heard from anyone and he confirmed them. He told me things and I told him things and we both discovered that I had a (spiritual) soulmate connection with him deeper then we both understood. It bothered me so much that I prayed to be released from the connection. I stopped talking to him on the phone for a period of time. I attempted to force myself not to think about him or admit to the sensations I would get and he would call me out of desperation about what he was going through and I told him I knew.. I actually, had to go to a healing service and beg God to release me from the connection and I was prayed over. Since thenI haven't been overwhelmed with those feelings. Now I was just informed this weekend (as a matter of fact) that a guy can feel me.. He knows when I'm thinking about him. He can feel me. He said it use to bother him but he is learning to accept it. He can feel me when I'm with someone else and thinking about him. He can feel it when I'm doing something I dont want to be doing. He knows. I believe him.. He called last night to tell me about a Doe (deer) running into the side of a car yesterday in which he pulled off the side of the road and he noticed she was in heat. I came to his mind and he felt that there was a correlation with me. The Doe was in heat and ran into the side of the a car. I'm menstrating and I was with him Friday night. I entered his car. The Doe ran into that car and he felt that I was going to have a conflict.. (Odd yes, Weird yes, Cant it be explained away I'm sure someone could make a arguement). he called me to confirm his feelings at what I was doing at a specif time and guess what: His feelings where correct. I had a conflict last night at that specific time period; that was like me being that Doe crashing into the side of that car. He is not a man to admit stuff like this. Its been overwhelming for him to feel these sensations and he's starting to share them with me. It's interesting---I do think about him intensely and a lot and I don't share this with him. Yet, he knows... It stops him in his place at times where he can't function right. He is only now starting to tell me these things. I wonder if I'm his soulmate.. We have a unique connection that is powerful and can be overwhelming. It is confusing because we both fight it. It's not painful but disturbing at times because its a reality we both don't completely understand. So I believe your instincts are telling you something. But as for the feeling causing you pain. That doesn't seem possitive. Nothing I've read states that a soulmate connection is painful but more of a hightened sense of knowing what the other needs or is feeling. Could you be feeling anxiety that is so hightened that its causing you physical discomfort. You feel so excited that the tension from it is causing you symptoms that emotional distress would cause?... I'm curious about soulmate connections also because I have had those experiences with few people.
Great Gazoo Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I think this depends alot on what you think a soul mate is. My wife is not my soul mate, even though I have known her most of my life and I love her. For me a soul mate and a good partner do not have to be the same, in fact I don't think I would want them to be the same. I go more by twin soul mates, which is some ways represents a mirror image of your own soul.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I don't think I'd feel the way I do if she didn't feel the same way back. It just evolved this way, y'know? It's like it started with, "Wow, she's a pretty cool chick." Then: "She sure is nice to me. I like her a lot." Then: "Damn, she sure is pretty, too." Then: "Wow, I haven't seen her today. Better call her--oh, wait, there she is pulling up to the house right now." Then: "I wish she would walk around naked all the time. Dammit." Then: "Whatever is going on she is for sure included." And now: "When she isn't around half of me is gone." I told you I embraced my cheesiness.... so what does she do so that you know she feels the same?
Sand&Water Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Reply: I get this pain deep inside my stomach, and it's so intense that I don't want to think about how much he means to me. I'm feeling this, for the very first time towards someone I haven't met yet. I know what you mean. It is hard to put it into words. I have never felt relaxed in the presence of any man. I will definitely take note, next time, with respect to feeling relaxed when around someone special. Sand&Water
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 I don't think I'd feel the way I do if she didn't feel the same way back. It just evolved this way, y'know? Yep, I know. We take it slow too. But here's a story you can probably appreciate...yesterday morning, he was sitting on his futon playing his guitar. He sang such a pretty song. Come to find out he wrote it. But the best part is he wrote it for me! I love when he does that. Soon he'll be able to cut an album with the songs he's written that were inspired by me. I guess that's why it doesn't bother me in the least that we don't bombard each other with saying "i love you". I've said it to him before, he's said it to me, but when you know you're loved so deeply saying it really isn't as important. I don't need the reassurance cause I know. And him writing me songs is one of the ways he expresses his feelings for me.
lovelorcet Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 There is no such thing as a soul mate, what you are feeling is the biochemical reaction to stimulants from your environment causing you the feel the "love" program. There are how many billion people on this planet, so what would he the chance that you ever were to meet one "mate" Go play the lottery if you want better odds...
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Feelings aren't rational. Not a lot of people make a balanced equation of love. And some people who are particularly desperate and hopeful will see reciprocation where none exists simply because they want to believe they see it. Love makes us believe that we are rational, even when we're far from it. I think the safest thing to do when in love is to distrust oneself at least a little. Guest, no offense but no wonder you go as guest instead of being easily identified as the person with the warped perception of love. If you have fresh injuries from heartache, perhaps you should refrain from giving your tainted opinion to others. Get back to us when you can be a bit more positive, okay? Anyone can tell you that with love, all things are possible. Or as Ghandi had said "Where there is love, there is life". So sorry your love life is dead. My sincere condolences.
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Really, the other guest is right. There are powerful chemicals at work in the early stages of 'love'. Nature put them there to make sure humans make more humans. No need to get testy about it. It's all lovely to want to think that yours is a love like no other, you were meant to be, bla bla bla. But an AWFUL lot of people who now can't stand the sight of each other started out feeling the exact same way. Unfortunately, the same chemicals that cause the feelings also impair judgement. If you still feel exactly the same way in a year, then you may be on to something.
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 There is no such thing as a soul mate, what you are feeling is the biochemical reaction to stimulants from your environment causing you the feel the "love" program. There are how many billion people on this planet, so what would he the chance that you ever were to meet one "mate" Go play the lottery if you want better odds... What a contrast we have in our thinking! The different PsOV always seem to impress me here at the LoveShack! Wow...
lovelorcet Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Biology is a system and when you know how it works then there isn't much room for BS... There are many people on this planet who could give you the same feeling, you just have to find them all
Author amaysngrace Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Biology is a system and when you know how it works then there isn't much room for BS... So how many years have you studied biology at University, just out of curiosity? Are you a practicing biologist now? Hey, it's my thread...I can jump it.
lovelorcet Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Finishing a PhD in evolutionary and developmental bio, been working with this stuff for about 10 years, so yes I do know what I am talking about...
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