linn949 Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I've been dating a guy (42) for 10 weeks,we meet on a dating site and we have hit it off wonderfully..to the point we had the exclusive talk, met kids,familys and friends...We have had very detailed talks about cheating on your partner..( happened to us both ) we have talked about our feeling toward each other, But today I look on the site we meet on and his profile is still on there even though he told me he had cancelled and I see he was on the site today ? Whats up with a man still checking his old dating site ???
riobikini Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Keep searching this site for threads relating to your concern (there are plenty here). You will find the information you learn extremely valuable. Just use key words in the search feature. -Rio
BenefitOfTheDoubt Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Well, a couple of things ... If you trust the guy, I wouldn't necessarily get too bent out of shape at this point. It's possible he'd gone online specifically to cancel his membership. It's possible he was online checking up on you the same way you were apparently checking up on him. It's possible his sister signed up and asked him to hop online to let her know what he thought about her profile. It could be a glitch in the system -- my boyfriend claims that Match.com would sometimes show him as having been online when he hadn't been online any time recently. (Most sites don't automatically remove your profile when you cancel your membership -- getting the profile down is a separate step. Also, on most sites, you don't need to be a member to log on. You can't use any of the features, but you can still log on.) So yeah. There are a million perfectly benign reasons that your boyfriend might have been online. Based on what you said about your relationship, it's entirely likely that everything's fine. As such, in your shoes, I'd probably keep my mouth shut at this point and keep an eye on the situation. If his profile continues regularly to show that he's been online, you should definitely address if with him. If not, I think you're probably safe assuming that he wasn't there looking for other women. Good luck to you!
Pyro Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I've been dating a guy (42) for 10 weeks,we meet on a dating site and we have hit it off wonderfully..to the point we had the exclusive talk, met kids,familys and friends...We have had very detailed talks about cheating on your partner..( happened to us both ) we have talked about our feeling toward each other, But today I look on the site we meet on and his profile is still on there even though he told me he had cancelled and I see he was on the site today ? Whats up with a man still checking his old dating site ??? If you two had the exclusive talk, then he has no reason to still have a profile on there. Sounds like he is not ready to settle down with one woman. He is already a proven liar. I would ditch the guy.
quietintrovertgirl Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I hate to tell you but most online men are talking to more then one woman.
gemmab2020 Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Maybe he was on checking to see if you had been online????? It stands to sense, if you were on there checking him out, maybe he had been on there checking you out?? A lot of people who use online dating never actually removed their profiles comepletely from the site, and you tend to get quite a few emails telling you who has checked you out... From what you have said about this guy, it all seems to be good, so dont throw him on the scrap pile yet. Maybe try and approach him first and give him a chance to explain??? You may find a totally innocent explanation
gemmab2020 Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 sorry benefitofthedoubt... i hadn't read through your reply fully. I agree with you totally!!!! Give the guy a chance!! You never know, he could have seent hat you were online and is thinking that you are chatting to other guys...
MySugaree Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 10 weeks is not a terribly long time to force a man offsite. If the guy's half-decent, he has a surfeit of women from which to choose. Why commit to one when there's always the possibility of upgrading at minimum time, cost and energy? Dating sites offer attractive, well-employed men an embarassment of riches and can be, just like this site, addictive. It's all about ratios. Commitment, off-line, is often an issue with men. Unfortunately, dating sites--with the steady drum beat of female attention-- lead to a form of "option paralysis" for many males. It's tough exiting a site where woman after woman tells you you're handsome, bright, etc. We enjoy listening to the chorus. As for your guy, my best guess is that he cannot yet cut the cord.For him, most likely, a "bird offline" is not worth 20 or 30 online.
GiftGuide Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 It's already been said but if it really bothers you just talk to him about it. From your post it seems you two have already been open with each other and asking him will get you to stop worrying about it.
nextel Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 A few years ago, I too met a guy online. We discussed being exclusive, met the family and got to know everyone in his circle pretty well. 4 months later I looked on the site out of curiousity and his profile was still listed and very active. He stated that he was single man etc etc. I was hurt at the time and it took everything in me to back away from him. I confronted him about it and he had no good excuse, so I left the relationship. Some men have character, others dont. The guy I met was very insecure and had no character, at least thats what I ended up seeing. Only you know the man. Is he worth it?
alphamale Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 you two are getting way too serious way too fast.
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