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He "loved" her when we were broken up and then doesn't now?


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My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I have always assumed we were each other's first and only loves. We broke up for a good six months and then we got back together. Things have been great.

 

The other night we were having an "honest" conversation. There has been a girl he seems to have always been interested in ever since he was a kid. Her name is Ashley and he has always thought of her as beautiful and someone he can connect with. He revealed to me last night that during the time we were broken up he was very into her. She lives in another state and he wanted to vacation with her and GOT A SECOND JOB in order to earn enough money to stay down there with her for a while (He never ended up doing that though). He said she was having a hard time and he had sympathy for her and he considered starting a relationship with her. Half-joking I asked him, "Did you love her?" And to my surprise he said, "Judging the things I did and how I felt about her I might have. I don't know."

 

I was crushed. I thought he had gotten back together with me because he missed me and started a relationship with me but now I am wondering if he got back with me out of knowing he couldn't ever have a relationship with her (due to the distance and the fact that she got back together with her boyfriend during the time he was planning to go up there).

 

It feels strange and sad knowing that he always called me his first and only love and the truth comes out. It makes me feel terrible when he says he loves me.

 

Oh, and (this was several months ago) when we first got back together (the first month) I looked at his email and he had written her an email just saying "You're beautiful." I am just crushed.

 

I feel like talking to him about it just makes it worse. All he really says is, "I love you and don't feel that way about her now."

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