heartbroken1234 Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Quick question for all of you. I'll just ask the question and then explain some details below, details may not be necessary though. BUT... I don't know if any of you have ever heard of facebook or anything. but... How immature or how much of a jerk does it make me look like if I delete my ex off of it? (she broke up with me by the way)... And how bad is it if I block her name on instant messanger? Opinions would be greatly appreciated... * More to the story though, we've been broke up for 6 months now, she broke up with me. She started dating and saying I love you to new guy w/ in weeks of our break up. We were very serious though while together, both saying I love you and wanting to spend our lives together. So, the past 6 months have been very rough w/ her not saying much of anything, but we'll still talk, and she'll allow me to hug her, kiss her, hold her, and she'll hold my hand and stuff when it's just us 2. Obviously this new guy doesn't know about it. And I hate to be immature and delete stuff, but something has to change. She knows how much I still love her and want her, but she just keeps dragging me along. And I've said no contact before to help me out, and she just ends up breaking contact through instant messanger, so thats my reasoning for blocking her on that. As for deleting her from facebook, I don't like having to see what her and her new boyfriend write on each other's wall. For instance, the last thing the new guy wrote on her wall... " showers just aren't the same w/ out you... " Granted I'm choosing to read that stuff, me deleting her will take all that away so I don't have to read such hurtful things that make me sad. Anyways... yeah...
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 How immature or how much of a jerk does it make me look like if I delete my ex off of it? (she broke up with me by the way)... And how bad is it if I block her name on instant messanger? People do that to me all the time. It's sooo immature!!!!
Author heartbroken1234 Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 Is it really that bad? I mean, I talked to her personally about it and told her I probably would and told her how it's nothing personal, but I just can't take having to see that stuff anymore. And I told her how it doesn't change how much I love her. I mean, I'm sorry to maybe offend you, but when people do stuff like this, its for a reason, and its usually due to an action. So I'm sure people just don't delete or block you for nothing, you probably did something to cause this. Granted it might not be mature, but at the same time, some people don't realize how much they hurt another individual...
Ssheena Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 I smell sarcasm (I think). I remember how much it hurt me to see my x online on chat programs and know he was there and ignoring me or talking with someone else and so I deleted him/blocked him. You are just hurting yourself by checking and it's obvious she doesn't care how you feel about it. This new guy doesn't know that she is still hanging around you - and hugging and kissing? That's interesting. So she has her cake and gets to eat it too... hmm. Why are you doing this to yourself?
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Is it really that bad? I mean, I talked to her personally about it and told her I probably would and told her how it's nothing personal, but I just can't take having to see that stuff anymore. And I told her how it doesn't change how much I love her. That's so sweet. And I was just kidding. You need time to heal, and it's completely understandable. On the other hand you could just forget about your own petty problems, and be a friend to her. If you said that you will love her forever, then remember that you must honour your promises. No exceptions. Ahhh...I'm just kidding (again) - she isn't doing anything to make it any easier for you, so it's time to help yourself. Good luck!
Author heartbroken1234 Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 Cause I love her and its obvious she still loves me... But thats why I deleted her and blocked her to help me move on and not have to see that stuff. So am I bad in doing so? Am I in the wrong?
Author heartbroken1234 Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 Thanks magichands... And I always will love her and be there for her, its not about that... Its just now, I hurt so bad and its all still so fresh, although its been 6 months, and something has to change. Eventually things will be more casual I'm sure, but how it is now can't stay the same. It's not fair that she's talking to me more than ever, allowing all the hugging, holding of hands, kissing, etc while she has a boyfriend whom she "loves". I mean, all I've been wanting to hear her say for closure is, " I don't love you anymore" and she won't say it. So since she won't help me, I'm just trying my best by myself I guess...
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 And I always will love her and be there for her, its not about that You had better pick a better word than "always" - now that you are reaching for the block button. But seriously now, you need to balance your thoughts between yourself and others. And you have already put up with too much ill-treatment.
Sand&Water Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Reply: Yes. I have heard of facebook. And, you present legitimate break-up questions. In my honest opinion, I do not think it is immature at all. There are 2 simple options to consider: (1) Keep her, username, in your facebook list of contacts. This is, only, for the intention of having a light friend, and/or acquaintance. Furthermore IF, in the near future, you heal completely from the hurt she caused you -then you can have her as a friend whenever you run into difficult times and need support. (2) Delete her, from your facebook list of contacts. No more hurt, pain, frustration, and disappointment. Entail, this will enable you to heal completely and possibly forget about her for a period of time. The information presented above, solely depends on how close you were to her. As the closeness increases, the amount of hurt increases. Therefore increase the amount of time you need to spend away from her. Hence no contact, whatsoever, is best. I recommend option #2: No contact. Delete. This is about you, now. You have to move forward in time, one way or another. Just my $0.02 worth of thoughts. Sand&Water
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 You have to move forward in time, Clock watching will confirm this for you.
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