brentheo Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 like most of you ive been reading about ive just recently been broken up with by my girlfriend of about the last 1 and a half years....everything was good for about the first year or so then i started to feel vulnerable to my heart being stepped all over...ive had 2 prior serious gf's before this and they have basically ripped the heart outta my chest...this girl that just broke up with me is NOTHING like any of those girls in my past at all...in fact shes the total opposite....sweet caring fun funny loving all that good stuff.... so after about a year i started to turn a sort of cold shoulder towards her and instead of opening up to her i began pushing her away...i wouldn't take her seriously when she said things or just plainly wouldn't care...id be a wise ass to her and was not sensitive to her feelings or what she had to say as nearly much as i did in the first year anymore...i began taking her for granted and made her feel very unappreciated...so now about 4 months later things started getting worse...at first i broke up with her...i felt as if being in a relationship was holding me back from a lot of things i wanted to do ....then shortly after we got back together she broke up me about 3 days later...she told me she loves me and still cares for me but she needs her space and wants to be single...she wants to figure her life out for herself and see how her life is by herself...now about a week and half later(today)... .ive talked to her about 2 or 3 times and shes very un responsive to what i say or do....i have not initiated any type of contact with her in this week and a half because i agreed to let her have her space...at times she seems just fine and happy without me and other times she'll call me to see me or talk to me online and try talking to me...she'll tell me she loves me and cares about me alot still...and yesterday she even went as far as saying she misses me which was a first in this recent break up....im so confused because of all these mixed siignals and i just dont know what to do or think anymore...i cant get her or this break up outta my head...i have changed for the better and have learned alot about women in general after this unfortunate loss of a great girl...and FYI it was just her birthday weekend and i got her a beautiful gold and diamond necklace...i sent her flowers and a card to her house as well.... neither had much of an reaction ... at least a reaction i would have liked to see....she hasnt called me all weekend but did tell me she missed me yesterday online in an IM....i try to be there for her as much as possible and be caring and sensitive to her feelings and what she has to say...i would do anything short of hurting myself or another person, because im not homicidal or suicidal LOL, to get her back....its that stupid saying u dont realize what you got until its gone...shes has seen i have chnaged for the better and that i truely and genuinely want to change....i know in the end only time is gonna tell if anything can happen for the better but if anyone out there has been in a similar situation can u please give me some advice and or suggestions...im so confused and open for anything or anyones help or feedback...my life hasn't been the same without her
demo3k Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 I have a very similiar situation going on man, if you check out my post on here you could read about it. Basically the first year and a few months were great and we were completely in love and then I did the same thing you did, kinda took things for granted.. started to let stuff just get dull and before I knew it we were breaking up and she basically said she just lost the spark. That was about a month and a week ago and I've never hurt like that at all, not even close. Wish I could tell you I feel better but I don't yet, it's been hard cuz I gave up most of my friends to be with her more and really structured my life around her. So anyway at first I told her NO CONTACT and she couldn't do it, she'd make it a week and then have to talk to me, but never wanted to get back together. Just kept happening and happening, then she kinda started talking to another guy, didn't talk to me at all for 2 weeks then it didn't work with him and she came back to me and at first wanted to get back together. Basically I rushed and tried to push her back into the relationship too quick. Now I'm just being her friend for a little while here while I try to figure out what I wanna do. I know it's really hard because like you said, if there was anything I could do, I'd do it. There isn't anything you can say or do, I tried that but all it did was start to annoy her that I just kept bringing it up. You have a few choices and I really don't know what the better option is for you, I think it's different for everyone. Either no contact just tell her you don't wanna talk to her anymore until it's about you two getting back together because it's too hard for you. Either that or try to just be her friend and don't try to push anything on her, just let her see how much fun it is to be with you, be flirty but like I said, be careful not to push too hard. Wish I had more help but like I said, I'm in the same situation and wish someone would give me an answer too.. Good luck.
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