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It was his fault....should I tell him?


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Posted

I have a question: I broke up with an ex 4 years ago because I was in love with his best friend. I would never tell my ex the reason, because it would just cause hurt and be vindictive. But best friend (who was my bf too, and confessed to being in love with me) now won't talk to me and still lives with ex. I always told him it wasn't his fault that we broke up, because it was a bad situation and I didn't want him to feel bad. But I really miss him, and wish he would talk to me. Should I admit to him that I broke up with my ex because I was (am) in love with him, or am I setting myself up?

Posted

I got confused between the best friend and boyfriend. You dated them both, and I can't tell which ex it is you miss and who you love and want back.

Posted

Your Boy Toy felt like it was his fault that you were attracted to him and dumped your ex boyfriend , which was his friend.

 

Leave him alone.

 

Leave them both alone. Really...

Posted

to be honest, she should just stay with her boy toy

 

listen to what is said here

 

boy toy feels bad that because she was attracted to him they broke up

 

but he still does it with her and she with him

 

they are perfect for each other - think about it

 

i really have never seen such amazing waste of two minds

 

just brain dead

 

she wouldn't have to worry about leaving the ex alone..she did that long ago

 

and now she knows he has too - because neither are people he would have as friends...come on - think about it folks!

 

look, that's life...move on...show's over

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Posted

Ok, I guess I was really unclear. By bf I meant best friend - he was my best friend as well as my ex boyfriend's best friend. The relationship with the ex was emotionally abusive and unhealthy, and it was going to end eventually. I think my best friend knew this, but he felt bad because I didn't end it until after he confessed that he loved me. I never had sex with the best friend, or even kissed him. I never cheated on my ex. The only reason I'm bummed is now my best friend and I don't even speak, let alone have a relationship. I don't want to tell him that it was his fault we broke up to hurt him and be vindictive - I want to tell him in the interest of being honest and letting him know exactly how hurt I am that we don't speak anymore.

 

And to whoever wrote that last comment - I want you to keep in mind that you don't know me, and what exactly makes you so cynical? My understanding is that this forum is for people to be supportive and get advice on the most complicated aspect of humanity - love. I don't need to prove to you that I'm not a bad person or wasting my mind. You don't know how old I am or what I do for a living, and if you did your response might be different. Don't be so judgemental.

Posted

It sounds like a complicated situation and honestly, how could your BF (bsetfriend) now get together with you with a peace of mind seeing as he's buddies still with your ex. It puts HIM in an odd situation too.

 

Leave the past in the past, find another guy.

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