b52srock Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 I'm one of those that tries to think things through well ahead of time. Most would say I stress over stupid things, but to me, this is one of those things that is important to look at all the angles well ahead of time. OK, here's the situation. My son is graduating this year and its a tradition in this small town to have receptions for the graduates either the night before graduation or after the ceremony itself. I've already reserved a place for the party (my son asked to have it at our church). The problem is, my son does not want his father (my ex) to bring his girlfriend. My son detests this woman and refuses to spend the night at his father's when she's there. He'll do everything he can (including telling his father he's staying at a friend's house then coming home to sleep in his own bed) to avoid having to spend any time at all around her. My son, unfortunately, is just like me. He doesn't like to "rock the boat", so he won't come right out, stand up to his father, and tell him she's not welcome at his reception. So my question is this...do I tell his father that she's not welcome or do I stay out of it and let things lie? I will say our divorce was not an amicable one (affair with this woman to start with). I just don't want this woman's presence at the party to ruin it for my son. What are your thoughts?
Guest Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 People who are afraid of 'rocking the boat' get stomped on. It is important to state your wishes. This doesn't mean that you boss people around or be rude or arrogant but it does mean that if something is that important to you, you have to speak up about it. Your son is about to enter the adult world where his avoidance strategy will leave him prey to all sorts of vultures. One of your last jobs as mom to a fledgling man should be to support him in asking his father (VERY politely) to come to the reception alone and to quit being fearful of 'rocking the boat'.
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