caring guy Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Hi I met a girl on the bus & immediately went for a drink, she was amazed at my courage & balls to ask her in that situation. Tonight we go out to a restaurant & i don't know what else. If all goes well, is holding hands or kissing out of the question, should it just be friends on a 1st date. Should i ask her if i can hold her hand or gently tinker her fingers & see what happens! We'll probably go to a late bar where there's couches. I fancy her physically & her accent. She's sent me winks in texts. After a fiew drinks, who knows what will happen, but i don't wanna mess up! cg
Tony T Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Go for her hand and see if she's receptive. A little kiss is fine. Just don't rush things. Take your time. It sounds like she does like you and if you just show her you're interested and move gradually, you'll be going "all the way" before no time.
Author caring guy Posted October 21, 2006 Author Posted October 21, 2006 Thanks. In the past i've blown it by saying i like them a certain girl & it's been too pushy!, like desperate. I know i'm bad at reading signals, if it all goes ok, i'll brush past her hand. I'm concerned she'll run a mile if i try hold her hand on 1st real date as it may be too soon!, but i guess i'll have to go by what happens!
Guest Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 See how she reacts when you stand or sit close to her. Does she move away, stay still, or move closer? If she moves away, she's not comfortable with you yet so do not try any tricks to touch her more. If she stays still, be careful. But if she moves closer or touches you independently, then she's comfortable with you physically and you can try some moves. Note, I said 'moves' , not 'gropes' or 'grabs' LOL
gfto Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Should i ask her if i can hold her hand or gently tinker her fingers No. Absolutely not. If SHE reaches for your hand, then fine, hold her hand. But, you should not initiate it. At the end of the date, you should kiss her on the lips; nothing heavy, and that's it.
Author caring guy Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 Ok, we met & it was & i gave her a kiss on each cheek, she said thanks. We met in city centre & if you know what bars are like at weekends in big north England citys, you know that they are crowded, loud & not the best place to talk & get to know. We had a drink early, then went to the restaurant, we sat pretty close next to each other, she never distanced herself from from me, she even put her arm next to mine to check tans as we were talking holidays! (lol) for a while. We always spoke, no bad silences & when we leaft, she was cold, so i put my arm around her & rubbed her arm to keep her warm. We went in a bar that was packed & it was impossible to talk, there was a live group on & i stood aside her watching her & held her with one hand around her side, she didn't mind! When we exited through the crowd, i reached back & took her by the hand & we walked to her bus, me still holding her. I didn't ask if i could hold her hand, so i didn't whilst walking. But i carried on holding her around her arm to keep her warm. I asked her if she fancied going a walk somewhere either in town or a park & see each other again & she said yes. When her bus arrived, she gave me a hug, but i didn't go for the kiss. I didn't want to think i was too much too soon, 1st date and all! She said see you soon! Then i went to get my bus, by now it was 11pm & i guess she was a little tipsy & wanted to go as she was up the next day! I texted her saying that it was a great night, company etc & that i'd call her later in week (she works nights & studys mornings), so realy weekends are the best! I haven't a reply, i don't know how she feels, but i like her a lot. I don't know if she went because she was tied or was it me, the night had lasted from 6.30 until 10.30 ish. I didn't ask a question, i just stated what we'd talked about, meeting again which she said she'd like to, so there was no need for an answer, but i thought she could have replied saying see you soon & it was nice. or was it what she wanted me to hear! I do wonder, i've had my hopes dashed in past & been hurt. Does this seem promising, i've included as much detail as possible. Cheers cg
Author caring guy Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 Last night was wonderful for me, i respected her & didn't try & get into her pants or even a snogg. I hope she respected that & i got that impression from the hugg & that i kept her warm when she was cold, i just don't know about the 'no reply' of the text, but i guess there was no question, just would have been nice to hear that she enjoyed it & see you soon, but then again, she said that!. I guess we all like to know where we are! I just hope she gives me the chance to show her more of me in a park or county walk situation. I think we all know a 'get to know you' situation is best when relaxed & we were in restaurant, but that loud bar situation isn't best for 1st date chat. cg
gfto Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 When her bus arrived, she gave me a hug, but i didn't go for the kiss. Mistake. You should've kissed her, because (1) it shows confidence; and (2) it will reveal her interest level in you. In other words, if it lands on her lips, you might have something. If she gives you her cheek, then she isn't interested. If a girl has high interest in you, she will want you to kiss her at the end of the first date. It isn't "too much too soon." That's "nice guy" thinking. I texted her saying that it was a great night, company etc & that i'd call her later in week Mistake. At the end of the date, you kiss her, say goodnight, and go home. You should use the telephone ONLY to make dates. You don't sent text messages, and you don't tell her when you're going to call. You just call and suggest another date.
Author caring guy Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 All else went ok, i just didn't want to freak her. At least she didn't mind me holding her, thats a good sign. I just wanted her to know that i didn't want her for one thing & gain her trust in that! Ok, i said i'd call her before end of week as she at the moment, is only free at weekend. I hope i haven't messed up, i don't feel i did anything wrong, afterall, she did say she wanted to see me again! It was very hard to talk in the bars, especially as her English isn't great. I told her on the 1st day i met her she was gorgeous thats why i eyed her up on the bus, so she knows why i asked her out, not just to talk about the weather! I just hope she respected me not trying it on! When we see each other again, i'll go for the hand, she has a knowing of what i'm like now not just wanting a shag. She felt comfortable in my company i felt & i think she will accept my hand whilst walking in the park on an Autumn day as opposed to 1st meet in a loud situation. But then again, she accepted my hand then & arm around her! Confidence, i think i showed that asking her for a drink after seeing her for 10 mins on the bus!! cg
Author caring guy Posted October 24, 2006 Author Posted October 24, 2006 Last night she texted me saying hi & how i was & she was dreading going to work as she works overnight. I replied back saying i felt the same as i was rained on. I also said if she was free i have an idea of something we copuld do at weekend & said how great she looked at weekend & when i met her. She replied positivley saying thanks & it's great (English not too good) & see you soon. I didn't instigate the texting so i guess her contacting me means i pressed the correct buttons on the date & gained her respect. So as i tinkered her fingers & held her in the cold, if we go a walk, & things go ok, i'll reach for her hand. What ya think! cg
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