AJH Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Hi everybody, I had quite a brief but very intense relationship with a married man. The thing is, we both decided that we had to stop all contact with each other and in the past we haven't made a very good job of it. Every 3 or 4 days he would contact me and then we'd speak for a few days before agreeing to say goodbye again! At the time I knew it was the right thing to do but this is the longest we have gone without contact and I'm finding each day harder and harder to deal with! I'm too stubborn to contact him, but this is driving me insane! Any tips on how to make staying away from him easier?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
outofdarkness Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 Hi everybody, I had quite a brief but very intense relationship with a married man. The thing is, we both decided that we had to stop all contact with each other and in the past we haven't made a very good job of it. Every 3 or 4 days he would contact me and then we'd speak for a few days before agreeing to say goodbye again! At the time I knew it was the right thing to do but this is the longest we have gone without contact and I'm finding each day harder and harder to deal with! I'm too stubborn to contact him, but this is driving me insane! Any tips on how to make staying away from him easier?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. I am the W of a 10+ year cheater...I have learned much from these posts as well as the infidelity posts..I would suggest that you stay busy, reach out to friends; that you TRUST completely, and do some things that make you feel good about yourself! The last and probrably most important thing that you can do to avoid contacting him is to read some of the posts on the infidelity and separation/divorce forums to see what A's put families through. I am not bashing you..much to the contrary, I have come to know that OW's are for the most part kind, compassionate and sincere women, but they get lost in lies. Cheaters are liars and when you fall prey, you find yourself believing everything that they tell you. Most of the time, the MM tells the OW the same lies that he tells the W. I know there are always exceptions to this rule, but as a general rule, they are dirty rotten scoundrels. Ever seen that movie with Steve Martin and Micheal Cain called Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? It's just a funny movie that embellishes the whole D R S syndrome. That's another suggestion that I have, rent a really funny movie...Get a friend and go to an new release. There is nothing like laughter to change your mood...Get outdoors and enjoy the beautiful Fall colors, if you live in one of those seasonal zones. Do whatever you have to do to stay away from him. He will continue to use you and lie to you just as he is his W..Don't put yourself down on his level anymore..Good luck and blessings...
PoshPrincess Posted October 23, 2006 Posted October 23, 2006 Do whatever you have to do to stay away from him. He will continue to use you and lie to you just as he is his W. AJH, I totally agree with OOD on this. I am an ex-OW so know what you're going through. Your sitch sounds pretty similar. My MM and I were forever agreeing NC and then going back on it. To begin with, it was always me that initiated it but then the tables turned. I found it SO difficult to handle. Be grateful that you're stubborn (I am but sadly not where he was concerned!) and stick to what you're doing. It IS hard - I am still struggling every day and miss him SO much - but as OOD said, read other posts on here, not just from BS point of view but from OW like us, who are further down the road or have totally moved on. They're an inspiration and I know you and I will get there one day too!
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