natalieismyname Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 I met this guy and right away he and I got along really well. I more or less knew something was going to happen the first time I met him. We start hanging out and I'm pretty resistant at first and even more so when I find out that he might move out of town for awhile. He really goes after me and almost begs me to be his girlfriend. When we're at parties he tells people I'm "his girl" and this is even before we kissed or anything. Well after awhile I can't fight it so I go for it and we have sex (first time for me). He seems even more into me after that, says he really wants me to be his girlfriend so I agree. All this time he's telling me his leaving isn't a sure thing and he might not even go and it will only be for a few months anyway. Things go on for a couple of weeks. We're into each other. I'm falling for him and pretty certain he is, if he hasn't already, fallen for me as well. One day he gets a call and finds out he's has to move "for awhile" in about a week. An hour before he gets the phonecall he and I are getting along great however, post phone call the dude gets all distant and weird. The following week (his last week) our visits are really brief and they are a lot less frequent as are his phone calls. When he is over though it's like nothing is wrong, we're into each other and we're getting along. The before he is supposed to leave he blows me off and I, after having gotten slightly drunk, call him out on it over the phone. I don't get psycho bitch on him, I'm pretty calm considering how hurt I am when I go about telling him how I fee. When I tell him "you hurt my feelings" he snaps - asks me what I expected from him? he's a weird guy, I knew he was moving, what did I thinl would happen? I should get another guy who's better than him, oh blah blah blah "I guess I blew it!" and then that's it. Goodbye. 4 days after his being gone I hear that he's been with two girls (ie. had sex or is having sex with) since he's been there. It seems like he's drinking more too. I write a blog about it online, about how I wish I could move on as easily as guys appear to and all that crap, he responds with a "man i suck." The next day (yesterday) he posts a picture on myspace of him with some chick, his arm around her, face looking all smug and cocky. He sends a bulletin out saying "new picture - of me being a scum bag." I respond with an ultra sarcastic "beautiful" and he takes it off. So basically it just confirms to me that he was waiting for my reaction to it. I don't get it, he's the one who dumped me... why is he angry with me? what is he doing? is he rebounding and doing stupid crap because he is in pain or what? I know he really liked me, I know that. I wouldn't be surprised if he missed me. We got along and I was sweet to him. I was so clearly enamoured with him (still am) The night before he found out he was leaving he told me he thought that he was more into me than I was into him. He said "you don't even love me" all quiet and when I asked him to repeat himself he said "nothing...." What is his deal?
D-Lish Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 What's his deal? He truly is a scumbag. Sounds insecure and unstable. What kind of person would post a picture of himself with other women on his web space knowing how deeply affected you would be by it? Think about that. It's obviously you affected him- but he can't handle his feelings maturely. Please try to move on... this guy sounds like very bad news. D
Author natalieismyname Posted October 21, 2006 Author Posted October 21, 2006 Knowing him, he's really on self-destruct mode. I think he realized "sh*t, I blew it" and then, because of who he is and how insecure he is, he went straight for the "fine, I'll show you what screwing up looks like!" I more or less said for the first time on my little blog: "I really feel something very strong for you" (ie. I love you/or loved you) I think he's freaking out, feeling terrible about the way he handled leaving and it turned into some weird snowball thing where he's trying to push out his feelings - which never works out for people - so he doesn't feel so bad about blowing it. or maybe I'm off... I'm only 19 :p
D-Lish Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 How old is he? Him posting pics of him with other women is still hurtful and cruel. Perhaps he is in self destruct mode and isn't handling his screw up properly because he doesn't know how to react maturely. Are you able to stop yourself from viewing his page? Sometimes it's easier to not know.... it saves you some pain. You might gain some leverage by cutting off all contact with him at this point in time. Delete him from MSN, stop looking at his page or talking about him on your blog. Right now, he knows he can affect you because you look at his page... when he finds you absent from his life- he'll start to wonder about you and what you're up to. If he thinks you are over him- you might be surprised by his reaction. Betcha he'll come looking for you! Read the post by "thekhris" and his "compilation of how to win them back" thread. It might provide you with some help and insight... It helped me gain a better perspective on my break up. Hmmm, I wish I was 19...but the little wrinkles under my eyes tell a different story! good luck Hon, Dee
everlong Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 if u simply WENT TO THE SOURCE you might find answers instead of assumptions you are most welcome to continue with this type of speculation... but u know better... this is your decision you can either rant this way...or well..u know u really shouldn't let the unknown do that
everlong Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 i was thinking that the other day too i wonder what the ex has been up to? it doesn't bother me....why are u upset? i don't even know where the ex is fer cripes sake
Author natalieismyname Posted October 21, 2006 Author Posted October 21, 2006 I'm not over it obviously. I'm the first to admit that to anyone who asks me. It's been a week, I don't expect myself to get over a broken heart in a weeks time. Not my style. I don't fall very often, when I fall I fall hard. I'm just trying to make sense of it all.
Ssheena Posted October 21, 2006 Posted October 21, 2006 It could be just the way he handles having to leave people he is having a relationship with. I'm saying this as to how he immediately changed after getting the phone call and knowing he would have to leave. Kind of a protection plan - I have to put up some protection otherwise I'm going to be hurt. Hence the excuses - what did you expect, I'm weird, get someone better than him etc.. Then his behavior later really proves he has some serious problems. I have learned the hard way that when someone says, I'm not a nice guy, or I have problems, it's true! Stay away. He probably truly believes he is unloveable (which is really sad when you think about it). Be glad he is gone.
Author natalieismyname Posted October 21, 2006 Author Posted October 21, 2006 It is pretty sad. I don't think it would have ended if he hadn't have found out he was moving. He doesn't know the extent of what I felt for him either, I never told him. I told him the night during the fight "look, I really like you" and all he could do was say "yeah.... yeah... fine... yeah..." I just feel like "how could someone switch so suddenly and go from practically adoring me to hating me?" or acting like it...
ddnnee Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 don't you girls like this kind of guy though? I swear most girls dig guys like this. The bigger the jerk, the more love he gets. I can tell you are loving him more and more with each passing moment.
Author natalieismyname Posted October 22, 2006 Author Posted October 22, 2006 I think some girls are way into jerks. I don't know about me though.... Not really, I'm pretty much hating him right now, rightfully so. But yeah, underneath all of my anger over how he's acting... I love him. The fact that it ended so suddenly and so crappy, the fact that he's acting the way he is... I don't think he's over me and yeah, it ending on that note makes it feel unresolved and still up in the air. I feel sorry for him, he's blowing it with a girl who really loves him for him and not for his silly reputation around town as "the wild one" or whatever. I was never impressed with that.
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