Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Does it bother you when the holidays are here and your "other" is not with you, but spending it with his /her spouse?
Freedom Now Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Last Christmas, we traveled together and spent the holiday together. This Christmas, he will be spending it with his family for I elected to exit this toxic, soul-breaking relationship. In spite of the fact that he continues to contact me, he has elected to stay in his marriage.... So....I am giving him what he wanted. He asked for it....he's got it.
Joelle Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Does it bother you when the holidays are here and your "other" is not with you, but spending it with his /her spouse? I'm assuming you're single or unmarried? If you're unattached, I could see why you're upset. Unfortunately for you, holidays are meant to be spent with family. As the OW, you're not considered family. Sorry.
outofdarkness Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Does it bother you when the holidays are here and your "other" is not with you, but spending it with his /her spouse? it bothers ME that my MM has spent some holidays over the years with the OW! Mabey not the whole day, but at least a portion of it. Last fourth of July, my H was very angry and irritable, he began to grill the food that we were going to fix for ourselves and one on my family memebers, when he totally wigged out and threw the food, cut his finger and knocked the grill over. He blamed it on my relative coming over, but I know that 4th of July is the anniv. that my H spent every year with his OW...for 10 years...So sometimes, the OW gets the holiday and the W is left alone...either way, someone gets hurt and I that...
PoshPrincess Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Does it bother you when the holidays are here and your "other" is not with you, but spending it with his /her spouse? Of course, it bothered me when my MM spent holidays with his family but I understood why (he's a MM with a family, I couldn't have expected anything else) - until he said he'd told her he was leaving. I dreaded the fact that he would tell me they were going away. If she knew he was leaving why would they go on holiday together? I could understand if they had already had something booked - but only for the sake of their kids (I did the same when my partner and I split). I still don't believe that he did tell her he was leaving. What happened with my MM was that his Ws parents booked a 'surprise' holiday for them and the kids, presumably to help them sort out their failing marriage (although I don't know if they know he had an A). Even though him and I were virtually NC at the time he still felt the need to contact me and tell me. He was gutted, didn't want to go, was trying to find a way out, was trying every excuse in the book, couldn't face spending a fortnight with her when he felt like that, etc (or so he told me). Although the last thing I wanted was for him to spend quality time with W playing happy families I told him that he should go for the sake of his kids, that he couldn't let them down. I knew this would be the beginning of the end and I was right. V painful being at home wondering what was going on with them but, what could I expect? At the end of the day, she's his W, and I knew the score from the start so couldn't really complain! Put up or shut up I guess!
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