Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I have had some counseling in the past, him being the main topic..I even attended a group session for loved ones with someone that has BP. The counselor and an entire family told me to get out. Another counselor I saw privately through the EAP encouraged me to get out without actually stating it. When I met this man he was in one of his great stages, charmed me and did everything right, could not believe I found someone so amazing!! He kept it up for about 5 months and slowly things started to decline. I was so in love that my reactions to his depression ( I knew nothing about BP at that time) were of concern and care, always thinking when he beats this depression things would return to how they once were. (I have stupid on my forehead) I am a caregiver type and struggle with disappointing people I care for so everytime he did not want to talk to me I took it personally and would just try to always fix things. When we would return to good I loved how he would treat me, always enough crumbs to keep me seeking more and more of him, he was very generous, took me to Europe, paid for all of my trips to him, even bought me a PC. He has been very kind to my child too.. Anyway he lived out of state and all of our visits went really well and I was missing many behaviours since I did not live around him and did not discover much stuff about him until he was on his way to me and after his arrival. He quit a great job, sold his home and moved to me, I am the only person he has to support him on his issues. I have felt like I have had a responsibility to this mentally ill person. He gets confused at times and needs my guidance. Yeah, I am in deep....I was a fool to believe his depression would improve in my environment and I did not realize the BP part until he was here and showed it all to me. I do believe that much of what he does is a result of his struggles and I feel sad for him because he does have such a wonderful side to him that I have experienced much of. When he gets down I see his sorrow, he cries, he feels much regret for how he has treated me, he beats himself up terribly for all his wrongdoings. He is still gone, he called me this afternoon and said he needs more time and he is just soooo tired (he gets like this, like someone pulled the plug out of him and all he can do is sleep for days) he is staying at a hotel, probably sleeping and of course not eating much. He needs to start trying BP meds for hope of any stability and sanity. If you have only been in your on/off relationship for 3 months and have already been exposed to his craziness then I strongly suggest letting go. I know I did not but I did not see the crap until much further on and it was slowly showing itself, due to the distance so I got sucked in bad. Oh, my guy often has no sex drive at all, it comes in waves and it was always great but then suddenly he lacks all desire. He also gets obsessive with activities, like for a month it might be an online game, then he hops to something else, when he does this other things fall to the wayside, including me. I really do not need this garbage in my life anymore, if any friend of mine shared this story with me I would be livid and tell them to RUN. I worry about what will happen to him if he moves away since I am the only person that knows all of this. His family and friends get his happy mask..His best friend knows and just feels there is nothing him or I can do, he needs therapy and meds is his strong feeling. Thankfully he does NOT drink or this would be even worse...Sorry my posts become rambling sessions that go on and on, just have much frustration to type about. I hope you will be able to find the strength to let go and try someone else. I know it is easier said then done but please try and focus on moving on, I do not wish this misery I am faced with upon anyone.
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