Recently divorced, memories flooding back, were these signs of cheating?

[WasHeCheating]

I'm recently divorce from a cheating husband. He met someone and left. Now I'm left holding the bag and keep having memories of the past.

 

One particular instance, after living together for a year or two, out of the blue he decided to get tested. Since he's involved in the health profession, he has friends in the health profession and got tested annonymously. He claimed he wanted to get tested all of a sudden because he never got tested after having sex with his first gf and just wanted to relieve his stress. This was 2 years after we were living together. I was a virgin until I met him, never been tested before, thus never had a reason to ask us to get tested and from what he told me they used condoms, and only had sex once, so I never asked him to get tested.

 

I never once suspected him of cheating, but a friend of mine has put some doubt into my head on his faithfulness. I remember 2-3 years into our relationship, I was really upset and crying because we barely spent any time together. He was always off doing his own thing, mostly on the computer, and we never had any us time. I remember getting upset and telling him I feel like we're roommates. Instead of consoling me, he got extremely upset asking how dare I think we're just roommates. And I felt absolutely horrible for questioning our relationship. My friend told me she thinks this is a sign of cheating.

[behonest63]

Gut Feeling-YES! You were a virgin and he seems controlling from your post. He knows that all you know is him....seems so unfair...and this computer crap is BS--anyone who spends more time on the computer as far as I am concerned is not in love and they are doing things they shouldnt...think about it... what would make you stay on the computer that long? Men can be real dogs (okay so can women) but i know the man side I am one. He spent lots of time away and his excuses of feeling the need for testing is total BS, if he felt that way you would have discussed it a long time ago before you had the first sex, he is a health pro right. Your trying to supress your gut feelings-go with your gut and if your wrong then your wrong but the only time your wrong is when the other person hasnt done anything and you would feel that way if he was good to you. Since i realize many things since my separation 6 weeks ago I know that I will never ever act this way to anyone that I meet in the future, especially the stupid time on the computer unless they are sleeping or at work I refuse to get on this stupid thing unless we are enjoying and sharing it together--i think the internet has wrecked many relationships.

 

HERE IS WHAT I HAVE DECIDED TO LIVE BY-Of course with open communications:

 

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense" Buddha

[Dayzie]

Well, chances are yes he did cheat. But don't dwell on the past. You're laughing b/c it is so much easier said then done I know it, believe me I know it. but you are divorced from the scum and it's time to move on. Trust me I know what it's like when out of no where these awful thoughts pop into your mind but it's time to let them go. Get the best revenge on him, and be happy!! Move on!!

 

And I totally agree 100% with behonest63, the internet has wrecked many relationships!

[anna13]

Even if your husband was cheating , you should not dwell on "you should have seen the signs" Why is this something your putting on your shoulders? . You are a good person , He is the one that left you for another. you were there for him . so what I am trying to say it that , you are a good person , you know you are , so everything he has done he has done to himself. it has nothing to do with you. be sad about the end of the relationship but don't harbor anything like could've ,would've, should've ( which i have a problem with myself as well) .. because like I said it isn't something you did . He made choices he will have to live with . just think of it that way.