Meemee33 Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Question for you all: Last night my BF cell rings at 12:00 midnight it was one of his friends which happens to be a girl, at first he lied and said it was his guy friend, but I had a feeling it was a female, because I could hear a girls voice when he checked his vm...so I confronted him on it...he apologized and he said he thought I would be upset if a girl was calling so late...(which i probably would of, since I have only met her once) we have been dating 2 years........Do you think it was harmless? or should I be upset about this..........How should I proceed, he did apologize....
typical Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 at first he lied and said it was his guy friend, Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. He would have never confessed had you not have probed him further. 12:00 midnight is not a time to call for idle chit chat.... Curious here, but were the both of you awake at the time the phone rang? Do you think it was harmless? That depends... Did you happen to hear what was said on the vm? And if so, did it happen to match up with what his rendition of it was? Also, is anything else between you and him changing ? Do YOU think it is harmless? I would keep a watchful eye on everything for now, but of course, forgive him...what else can you do?? Its not as if you caught him screwing her at: 12:00 midnight
Leikela Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 A red flag would go up for me... I don't think he's cheating with her, but perhaps more is going on between them. Lying is always the first clue that there is something being hidden. Maybe he has a crush on her? I would keep my eyes and ears open if I were you.
CrushedOrgans Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 A red flag would go up for me... I don't think he's cheating with her, but perhaps more is going on between them. Lying is always the first clue that there is something being hidden. Maybe he has a crush on her? I would keep my eyes and ears open if I were you. sometimes that's true. but sometimes people do feel the need to lie about some little things, even totally innocent things, because the person they are with freaks out over every little thing and turns what was nothing into something big and a huge argument ensues. i'm all for breaking up when there is a problem instead of resorting to behaviour like lying, avoiding, cheating...but let's face it, they tend to happen before the big event (of breaking up.) just saying.
Walk Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Too ironic... My male friend called me sunday evening.. (while me and the bf were having sex) and when I checked the caller ID afterward my bf asked who it was... I really, really contemplated lying to him about who called. I almost did too. I didn't think my bf would get upset or jealous, but I wasn't quite sure. Anyway.. I didn't not lie because I'm so moral.. I just couldn't come up with a plausible alternative for who called. Otherwise, I probably would've lied just to avoid confrontation. Turned out fine.. but I probably really would've been more driven to lie if I thought he would throw a jealous fit if I told him the truth. I don't know... there could be something to hide, or he might not have wanted to deal with issues of insecurity right then. Why don't you ask him if he'd introduce you to the girl and all three of you hang out. If she really is "just a friend" then it would seem like he'd want that. Or ask if you could talk to her or something, just to ease your doubts. Then gauge his reactions to you wanting to know this girl better.
GiftGuide Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 Keep note of this, but try to stay rational. It's odd that she called soo late and he lied initially but it might not be anything. My girlfriend gets the same way when she hears a girl's voice on the phone. I kept getting a bit offended that she didn't truse me but I know I would feel the same. To solve the problem we had a talk about people of the opposite sex we are in contact with and when they call or leave a myspace comment things go a lot smoother. I'd try talking with him about the girls he still talks to and you can tell him about your guy friends. Get everything out in the open.
Mythical Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 i would defiently be very uset about, it he lied there for he is worried about something. why is she calling so late? And why did he not answer it? You've only met her once in 2 years? I would defiently be pissed and be worried, if it was nothing he should have explained the situation and say something to get the trust back cause im sure you lost some. Since he just apololied he probabaly feels guilty
luvtoto Posted October 20, 2006 Posted October 20, 2006 I think when a guy has friends that are women, it shows that he trusts women. I wouldn't play the jealousy card. This may cause you to lose him. Given the time, 12:00 midnight, he probably didn't want to fight with you or have a confrontation at that hour. Has jealousy been an issue before? So, he chose to not tell you the whole truth. I am NOT condoning his lie, but I can sort of see his point. Ease up a bit on the reigns.
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